I'm getting sick of being judged by both sides of the spectrum. Men think I'm a sex kitten, women think I'm just looking for a fling once they find out I'm bi. I get the urge to just focus on one sex, but when I try, I begin longing for the other gender. Lately I've been concentrating on women, but I ran into an old male friend who happens to be bi as well. I had the hugest crush on him when we were close. I got reminded of those feelings when we talked over coffee and cigarettes. But the thing is, he's doing the same thing I was trying to do: he's concentrating on men. I do feel that he feels the same as me though.
I hate the feeling of "not making up my mind" as many people would describe bisexuals. I feel that putting myself out there for him will only end in heart break, especially if he's diligent about concentrating on men, about being "normal". At the same time, I don't want to live with the "what if". Is it even appropriate to ask him to "change teams"?
2006-09-12 17:43:49 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I know exactly how you feel. I'm bi too. Good ahead and ask him if something is up between. Love means big risks. Go for it and GOOD LUCK!!
2006-09-12 17:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by PROLADY 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be true to yourself and honest. When you do this you'll always feel good about your own integrity. So what if you are attractive to both, and why do you have to choose? To like or love someone is a great thing and beauty comes both in male and female form. As long as you are not being deceitful with anyone in mattters of the heart, continue enjoying the pleasures that life has to offer and be careful as you would regardless of whom you are attracted to. Get rid of the judgemental, mean spirited people and associate yourself with those who love you for being you. Only you and God should make judgements. You're an adult and you don't need anyone's help-especially if its just a put down. We need love and understanding in this world for everyone. Take your time also, and enjoy life!
2006-09-12 18:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of your orientation, 'what if' is a factor. Any straight person can wonder what if they waited, and any gay person can wonder what if they had made a go of life with someone they dated.
To be able to build a life with someone it takes three critical things: LOVE, MATURITY and COMMITMENT.
Until you are in a place where you are ready to offer all three to a mate, don't worry about it. You may go back and forth for a while, but being bisexual does not give you license to be unfaithful in a committed relationship. You will get there and you will find the person that helps you stay there.
If you like this guy, and you are willing to take it further, then ask him out. If he isn't interested, don't take it personally.
2006-09-12 18:01:00 · answer #3 · answered by knightofsappho 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bisexuals have a tendency to take quite some warmth from each and every side, and it may look like they prefer it both approaches. this is glaring that he loves and trusts you (because he informed you), and this is organic to sense betrayed (and blindsided), yet you fairly prefer to envision with him. If he's acceptable for you and also you for him, this can under no circumstances be a difficulty. you want to envision with him about this and any particular needs that he might want to have, and examine out to handle those interior reason. do not provide up on him or the courting and do not sense like you won't be able to examine with him.
2016-11-26 20:45:42 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who says you have to "make up your mind"?
No rule that says you have to just like one or the other.
I"m a bi guy and I am committed to my girlfriend who is aware of my bi sexual side and she is ok with it. She's straight by the way.
At first she had some concerns with it but she got over it and now knows I am fully committed to her and our relationship.
As far as the last question you had, no I do not think it's appropiate to ask the "other" to change teams. But that's just my opinion.
2006-09-13 00:22:12 · answer #5 · answered by Jimmy Dean 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Like a person for who they are at that moment. If it happens to be a guy, then great. If it happens to be a girl, then great. Don't worry about the other side. Enjoy your time with that special person, because whether straight, gay, or bi, it's just lucky and rare enough to find someone who feels the same way back at the same time that you do towards them.
Walk to your own beat, and keep your head up. Don't look for 'him' or 'her' just let it happen if it happens.
2006-09-12 17:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by Tiffi Poodle Pie 69 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to be bi because you do get hated on by both sides. I think the best thing I did was get in a relationship with another bi girl because we both understand one another.
2006-09-15 03:50:41 · answer #7 · answered by ninapanama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be easier for you with him b/c he understands your situation and that you do like females ,but if you think your going to get hurt do not get into a relationship with him just have him as your friend, and no it's not inappropriate to ask him you need to know what you want to do .
2006-09-12 18:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
go do want you want and don't put bounderies life is to short to be contemplating on things that will only confuse you. do whatever makes you happy and worry free without thinking of what idotic people will think.
uhmm... i not bi but i hope this helps
2006-09-12 17:51:14 · answer #9 · answered by say_what!!! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just accept who you are and don't worry about what others think. You are your best friend.
2006-09-12 21:06:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋