When I think of you I almost feel like I’m going to cry
I can’t help but miss what we had
can’t help but feel helpless when life is moving on
love is simple to find but so hard to figure out
I never loved nothing in the world as much I loved you
how do you forget what you once had and move on to another
how do you stop the pain from hurting and my eyes from crying
if I were ever true to my heart you would be the center of it
when I felt that you were gone
I lost yet another battle with love
but this one was the worst
I never felt so much pain and confusion
time could never heal what I felt inside
I hid myself from the world because of my pain and jealousy
I sat for countless hours wondering why
I felt let down knowing I wasn’t the only one
I felt like a fool and an idiot for crying so many unwanted tears
my pain can’t make a person see what’s meant to be done
my pleas for love can’t make it the same again
self inflicting pain only leaves scars I don’t want to see
caring is the only way I keep myself sane
if I wonder to much I upset you
if I don’t at all I hurt you
it’s obvious how you feel for me now and it’s so hard to accept
but I already did I just let my mind forget
I remember one night I walked through an empty street
through all the clouds and trees I saw a shooting star
I quickly wished to wonder where you are
and I found you in my dreams and in my life
tears and pain are worth it fighting for the one you love
even if the end is horrible I know I can never forget what true love feels like
2006-09-12 17:01:25 · 12 answers · asked by USAF1 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
it's not a journal entry it's kind of a poem but not really and i know it doesn't rhyme i don't like peoms that rhyme much but thanks for the people who like it...it is my first poem don't be so judgemental
2006-09-12 17:50:16 · update #1
and i'm not whining i people what i'm thinking on paper
2006-09-12 17:50:40 · update #2
i thought the poem was good especially for your first try as some people find it diffcult to express there feeling through words and i think you did a good job of it, i am a songwriter/poet myself
2006-09-12 21:45:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
More like a journal entry than a poem. Thoughts really.
Very good emotions though. Excellent wording and you get your strong feelings across. It flows well in your thought process.
Try giving it a title, add punctuation and put it in a "verse" stanza and this could be a very well written and emotional poem.
2006-09-13 00:35:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anna M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it lost my attention half way through it. Sounded like a bunch of whining honestly. It didnt make me feel any sort of anything, just words on a page. Spice it up a lil, like the other girl said, use images that would make us relate more to your poem.
2006-09-13 00:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by dlite1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah its pretty long but I read most of it.
-You have a knack for getting your heart out on words! I can hear the tone of your voice, you basically long for that other person that made you feel something special..
Keep it up, to spice it up why not try putting concrete images in there...
Good luck with your poems!
2006-09-13 00:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by TruthSeeker 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow. That's deep, but good. Go check out poetry.com. I've had 3 poems published by them and two won editorial awards. Keep up the good writing. ; )
2006-09-13 00:08:50 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Keep on writing but some rhyming would help.
2006-09-13 00:18:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mattman 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it sounds good at first, but then u start drifitng away in ideas. but overall, u did a good job at ur first shot! keep writing.
2006-09-13 01:08:18 · answer #7 · answered by Suzy J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow. That's really bad. Sounds about as bad as the breakup.
2006-09-13 00:06:29 · answer #8 · answered by trainedandready 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds nice
2006-09-13 00:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by Brian S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think it is very very good. you must have taken a lot of time writing it
2006-09-13 00:04:52 · answer #10 · answered by jeff o 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋