how do u get a boy to tell u whats wrong when they look like they r going to cry?

Question

how do u get a boy to tell u whats wrong when they look like they r about to cry or they tell u that they have things bothering them but they wont talk about it. lets just say that my boyfriend has really good friend that he calms as a lil sister and he has helped change her life but she went back to her old self again doing pot and having sex with numbers of guys and now he feels bad for even taking the time to help her change her life and now he is upset about it and wont talk to anyone about it

Answer 1

the best advice that I can give you is to say the following:
I know that you have a lot on your mind and I do not expect you to open up to me but there is something that I want to say. You cannot determine someones life you can only show them what their life could be. What they do with that information is up to them. Also I am here to talk when you want to. I will not push or rush you but I am here if you ever do want to talk. I can be a shoulder or just a sounding board. Whatever you need. I love you and want you to know that.

I think that by giving him some encouraging words and allowing him some space but at the same time letting him know that you love and support him are the best things that you could do for him. I hope this helps. Good Luck.

Answer 2

That's a tough one. We try to turn into ourselves when in trouble, so even if we know it's the right thing to do, especially by trusting your gf/wife, we feel we let ourselves more open that we want.

Your bf needs to understand that you can't change a person if he/she doesn't want to change, nor it's your responsability how they turn out at the end. He did his best to bring his friend in the right track, but she simply wasn't ready, wasn't convinced or didn't care, or just simply decided going through an easy way out. But it's not in vain, your bf did try to help his friend, maybe at one time or another those efforts might enter into his friend brain and heart and help her later on in life.

Probably he would never talk to you, or not initially, probably to 'protect' you or to try to give always his 'best' side to you. Give him time, be patient, but sometimes bring out the stubborn woman in you and ask him about what's going on.

Good luck.

Answer 3

DON'T KEEP PRESSURING HIM TO TALK ABOUT IT, GIVE HIM SOME TIME AND HE'LL OPEN UP AFTER THE WOUND CLOSES A LITTLE. RIGHT NOW IT'S FRESH AND HE PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT TO START TALKING ABOUT IT IF HE FEELS THAT HE'LL GET TOO EMOTIONAL IN FRONT OF YOU.

Answer 4

guys are not in general touchy, feely, tell it alls.... they need to have and get the subtle approach.... all they require is hand holding and gentle messages that we are there for them , when and it they need or want to talk..... you can not push them into telling..... so be patient and relax..... be there..... just tell him you are there when he is ready ......... God bless

Answer 5

just hold his hand and let him know that you are there, you dont even have to day anything just be strong for him and let it show, he'll come around