Do you think it is normal that in any relationship...friendship, boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever...one always seem to put more effort than the other? Is it supposed to be equal or will there always be one who puts more into or more effort into making the relationship work or be stronger?
2006-09-12 16:09:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ideally, all would be equal in any relationship, but life is seldom ideal. The key is that if both people really love and care about one another, then the give/take may be unequal at times. There are times when one needs support and the other can give it, then the situation will turn around to where the giver becomes the taker. Different people can handle different situations better than others can. When you love someone, you do whatever is necessary to help them get through whatever problems arise, therefore, you may give more today, and he may give more tomorrow, depending on the events of the day or the particular situation that arises.
2006-09-12 16:36:45 · answer #1 · answered by Bill B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think expecting amount of effort to be 50-50 is idealistic. I think in bf/gf relationships or with husbands/wives one person may give 60% at one point in time while the other gives only 40 and then at other times it may be 70-30 or 20-80 depending on what the circumstances are. I think that in a committed relationship it is more realistic to expect that, at times one partner puts forth more effort than the other, and that at other times the other partner puts forth greater effort. But if its always one person giving 90 percent and the other only 10 percent, I'd get the hell out of the relationship.
2006-09-12 16:21:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question. My view is that the world has 2 kinds of relationship people: The Givers and the Takers. Since they are each comfortable in their particular roles, they wind up finding each other. And life is grand for a while.
But, what happens? The Giver start to wear down. It may take a while, but their tank will eventually dry up, and nothing will be supplied to them from their partner to get their engines going again. In fact, the opposite happens, the Taker gets upset, wondering why their partner is not giving as much.
So, both partners wind up resentful, and deciding it's the other person's fault. Ironically enough, the issue is that neither partner is giving to the relationship. And when that happens, the relationship dies.
Just one o' my theories of life, but I've seen it enough to call it a relationship "law".
2006-09-12 16:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both sides put equal effort but in different ways, sometimes these ways of showing commitment to a relationship might not be recognized or acknowledged by the partner.
2006-09-12 16:12:48 · answer #4 · answered by Hawk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody has a different nature when it comes to relationships. I myself am a giver and not a taker, but that leaves room for people to take advantage of me. They don't always do it on purpose. As I've gotten older I have learnt not to let people walk over me and to try to not give my everything all the time, it gets exhausting. As long as it doesn't upset you, there's nothing wrong with it, but you should never let friends, family etc take advantage of your generous nature. Relationships are a two way street, and for one to last you both need to give and take equally. Or one person will eventually break down.
2006-09-12 16:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Suki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it does seem like one or the other puts forth more effort than the other does. Some people are able to give more easily than others are.
2006-09-12 16:12:46 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that usually, one is more active during the relationship. But I think we shouldn't worry spending energy in trying to 'equalify' efforts, but both do what they feel like.
2006-09-12 16:12:15 · answer #7 · answered by Roberto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not always, but most of the time, yeah... there's always one side that just doesn't try as hard/care as much. Or maybe thye've got a lot of other things going on and don't see it needs effort.
2006-09-12 16:11:32 · answer #8 · answered by Crissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...... we all see things from different angles, and ways.... does not mean it is right or wrong, just different..... 1 sees 1 thing that is more important, the other sees another thing as more important..... so it looks or seems as if 1 is putting more, and at times that may be the case but, we as the partner, should at least once in awhile TRY very hard to see things from the others perspective..... God bless
2006-09-12 16:14:49 · answer #9 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with friend ships its really diff then a bf/gf relationship.....in those ones both the gf and bf need to put equal amouount in or it seems like they dont really have any interest...
2006-09-12 16:11:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋