What is the best way to regain confidence in yourself?

Question

I used to be very confident in myself, but due to a toxic job & boss who verbally abused me daily, I am now dealing with a lot of emotion and feel I have lost all confidence in myself because of the abuse. How do I get my confidence back?

Answer 1

Tough answers to a simple question in my book, look in the mirror and tell yourself I am better than (insert ex-boss name) thinks I am. Then as things happen that affirm this keep telling yourself good things.

In school I struggled with math, and hated being put on the spot at the blackboard, and would choke never getting the answer. I often could do the problems, but later could not explain how I arrived at the answer. (So obviously must have been cheating) I would come up with groups of partial answers the way I new have until I had the answer. (10+100=110+1000=1110etc) I could do this really fast but when I would go to the board I would choke.

So when the teacher called my parents to explain I was failing math...I was the stupidest kid my father ever saw, and for years he would tell me I was dumb, call me stupid, or tell me hay DUMB AS* do this or that.

I started believing him and did not go to college for several years, (27) until I wanted to learn about computers. I made the Dean's list several times, and was told often that I was very smart person. BIG CONFIDENCE BOOSTER!

So all you need is some confirmation on what you already know, you are obviously smart because you asked use for help seeing the answer!

Hope this helps, have a great day!

Answer 2

Don't let relationships be the only source of validation in your life. That's just putting the power to raise or crush your self esteem into someone else's hands. The best way to find that special someone is to have something better to do. When I start to lose confidence, I remember all my amazing friends, the incredible connections I have with my family, and all the unbelievable things I've done in my life, and I realise it doesn't matter what happens in my love life, because I'm an awesome guy no matter what happens with my love life. The confidence this gives you, and the lack of neediness because your confidence doesn't rely on relationships, will actually make you more attractive.

Answer 3

Eliminate the things which caused you to lose your confidence inthe first place, even if it means changing jobs and people. Peace of mind is worth far more than the money you are presently earning. Also, if you work in a Union Shop, explain the problems you're having with your boss to your Union Steward. Situations like such as yours with your abusive boss is one of the responsibilities your Union to act on. That's why you pay Union dues. The bottom line is that you should work at strengthening the things which gave you confidence in the first place, instead of dwelling on the things which took your confidence away. It all begins with you.

Answer 4

confidence is a belief of who you're and your abilities. i can understand your feelings and the emotions you're experiencing. abuse is an act with the intention of 'harm' to the victim psychologically, do not let the abuse hurt you in anyway. to regain your confidence, repeat the word "power" few times each day and at each time associate yourself with a situations that you have performed well in the past, the confidence in your ability etc. if the asshole starts to abuse you, tell yourself that he is lousy and incompetent and imagine him to be a dog barking and try to see him as a person who is incompetent and visualise his weakness. lastly if you have the qualifications, try to look for a new job elsewhere. if you can't change the asshole, change the environment.

Answer 5

Surround yourself with family and close friends. People that can really show you who you are through their eyes and not the muddied version of yourself you seem to be seeing.
Spend time doing things you love that can be accomplished. For instance, a puzzle, fixing a car engine, etc. Something that gives you the satisfaction of completion at the end.
If all else fails, go see a psychologist/psychiatrist as they are educated on matters of the mind.

Answer 6

Shove that bosses head up his ***! You need to accentuate the positive,eliminate the negative latch on to the affirmative and don't mess with mister in between In other words think positive not negative Stand up for what you believe in and Don't let no one get in your way of achieveing your goals in life. And don't be afraid to hold your head up because you are somebody!

Answer 7

Confidence is a fickle thing.

Don't take risks, it could damage you permanently.

Take it one day at a time.

If you think you are doing your best and putting effort into it, people will notice. Eventually, it will pay off and you'll be at the top of your game once again.

Have faith in yourself.

Answer 8

Forget everything that a*s*s told u , sometimes when people are not happy they don't like to see no one else happy either.
I'm sure u are a beautiful person, U JUST HAVE TO LEARN TO LOVE UR SELF.
be strong i know u can regain Ur confidence it's still there deep inside Ur heart.

Answer 9

CHOOSE NOT TO BECOME A PROFESSIONAL VICTIM.

SOME PEOPLE WANT TO GET YOU TO BEAT YOURSELF UP, SO THEY FEEL SUPERIOR TO YOU. THEY PROJECT THEIR OWN FEELINGS OF INSECURITY AND SELF-DOUBT ONTO YOU.

BUILD YOURSELF UP FROM THE INSIDE OUT. ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN ANYTHING, WILL GIVE YOU A BOOST. ALSO, MASTERING A SKILL OR TALENT YOU POSESS WILL, TOO. TRYING SOMETHING NEW, AND PRACTING IT UNTIL YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO TEACH IT, WILL DEFINITELY BUILD YOU UP. TRY A MARTIAL ARE OR SALSA DANCING CLASSES. TRY A SPORT OR PASTTIME LIKE DARTS OR POOL, OR RACKETTBALL.

YOU HAVE SIMPLY ALLOWED YOURSELF TO SEE YOURSELF THE WAY SOMEONE ELSE HAS WANTED YOU TO. FOR SOME REASON, THEY NEED TO REDUCE YOU TO A LEVEL THAT IS MORE COMFORTABLE FOR THEM TO DEAL WITH.

SURPRISE THEM, CATCH THEM OFF GUARD, AND SPIN THINGS IN YOUR FAVOR. ASK THEM FOR THEIR OPINION OF SOMETHIMG. ASK FOR THEIR THOUGHTS OR WHAT THEY WOULD DO IN A CERTAIN SITUATION. THIS IMPLIES THAT YOU RESPECT THEM, CARE ABOUT THEM, AND CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK. WHETHER OR NOT YOU DO CARE, PRETEND TO, IT BUILDS RAPPORT. IT PUTS YOU IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. SURPRISE!

FOR ADDITIONAL HELP FEELING BETTER, GET YOUR BUTT TO THE GYM. EXERCISE TRIGERS THE RELEASE OF ENDORPHINS, AND PRODUCES MORE SERATONIN. BOTH WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER, PHYSICALLY. ALSO, SETTING A GOAL AND ACHIEVING IT WILL HELP YOU FEEL BETTER PSYCHOLOGICALLY.

THEN, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FIGURE OUT HOW TO HANDLE YOUR BOSS. BECOME A BOBBLE-HEAD, AND JUST NOD YOUR HEAD AND AGREE WITH WHATEVER CRITICISM THEY HAVE. THEN, ASK HOW YOU COULD IMPROVE YOUR SITUATION.

IF YOU ARE IN A DIRECT CONFRONTATION, DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF. ASK THEM "WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO EARN YOUR RESPECT?" THAT BOTH CALLS THEM OUT ON THEIR CRAP, AND FORCES THEM TO RESPOND WITH SOMETHING POSITIVE. STAY IN CONTROL OF THE CONVERSATION. THIS WILL HELP YOU FEEL MORE SATISFACTION.
TAKE CARE!

Answer 10

As hard as it might be, you might want to just take a piece of paper and a pen and just write down at least 10 things that you like about yourself, such as "I'm smart", or "I like my hair". Just write down as many silly things like that as you can think of. Then, reread it and you might just feel good about yourself. And about your boss, you might want to get a new job.Good luck, and I hope that you feel better.