Are children better motivated by rewards or punishment?

Question

I am writing a report on this topic and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

I've always been better motivated by the threat of punishment. If my parents told me that I'd get a reward if I did good in school, I might not. Nothing bad would happen if I just stayed lazy. But when they told me I'd get in trouble if I didn't get good grades, I had no choice because my back was against the wall.

Answer 2

Rewards, by far. Also, incentives. If a child can predict with 100% accuracy, what the reward or consequences will be, they are free to choose, and usually choose the reward. Rewards can be intrinsic (internal) such as satisfaction, and they can be extrinsic (a privelege or gift). Parents would do well to reinforce the intrinsic rewards more than the extrinsic rewards.
Most often, a child sees a punishment such as a spanking, as "their payback" for doing something wrong. They then, rationalize that "it's ok to go ahead and do it again, now that I got a spanking, I have paid my debt and we're even." They don't have the rational skills to understand why they shouldn't do something. Some will endure a spanking over and over, and still not understand really why they shouldn't do something, other than it upsets their parents.
They also see that they are in control of the adult's composure, and know what buttons they can push. They learn that violence borne of frustration, is the way adults behave. They see it as normal. This is how abuse perpetuates with each generation.
Not enough parents reinforce the good behaviors. Say the kids are quietly playing with their model horses while mom is making dinner. They are busy and not demanding her attention, and they are not getting in her way. It would be all to common, for mom to forget to take a moment, approach them and thank them for their patience and for keeping themselves entertained and giving mom her space. She wouldn't normally think to thamk them for their thoughtfulness. That's why kids act out a lot. They learn that they have to, to be noticed.
The world revolves around a child, from their perspective. What behaviors they witness at home, they accept as normal, and that is how all grownups are. Too many adults are absorbed by their adult responsibilities and adult issues, to remember that.
When given a chance, a child will usually jump at the chance to meet or ever exceed adults expectations. But when they are constatnly punished, they loose that drive.
Kids want to please their parents. When their parents act pleased, the kids get a boost of confidence and pride. When parents take a moment to be pleased, or go out of their way to notice and compliment or recognize the good behaviors, then they see a lot more good behaviors.
Kids are like blind people, flailing their arms wildly, trying to find the walls. Parents need to establish the boundaries with both rewards and punishments. But more rewards than punishments. Parents need to be 100% cosistent with their rewards and punishments, and be a united front (both mom and dad) that are 100% consistent in their parenting.
The best gifts they can give their children, is a healthy and satisfying partnership, and behave the way they wish their kids would.

Answer 3

Rewards absolutely. Punishment is the adverse consequence of a sin already committed. Not saying that punishment is never necessary but the necessity could be avoided if a kid is motivated to not screw up in the first place. If he is rewarded with praise and encouragement for doing the right thing, he will learn to do the right thing on his own. If his options are punishment or no punishment, the only motivation he will have is to not get caught. I don't think lack of discipline is the problem that we have in society right now. I think it's a lack of ANYTHING. So many people think that we aren't hard enough on our children these days. That may be true to a point but most importantly we aren't anything on our children We don't spend the time to teach them to take pride in themselves or their behavior. We need to encourage them to respect themselves and others. We don't take the time to encourage them to make the right decisions. Now I also believe that a tangible reward is not the answer to everything either, that would be bribery. Not the kind of reward you want your children to expect for every good behavior. Our kids need to want to behave acceptably, not only to be fearful of the consequences of non-conformance.

Answer 4

I am 13 and I would have to say I am a little more motivated by punishment but I guess it really depends on the child. Age groups matter also. I can see a 17 year old doing something for a car and maybe not caring if you ground them where as a 3 year old might be afraid of what you might do over the possibility of getting Ice Cream.

Answer 5

First you need to define : rewards and punishment
Let's for example take two children both age 2. The First child is spanked not to touch,is told "no" more frequently, with many restrictions on their exploration. What happens to the child long term? The child learns that hitting is OK and they learn to hit everyone. They also learn that love hurts, fear, and they learn not to trust. Another thing about this limit setting is that they would learn how to be sneaky because their coping skill would be to lie in order not to get "punished". Another coping skill is that they build a tolerance to punishment. So the punishment would have to increase over time.

The second child, also age 2, is allowed to touch things and if the things are dangerous( after explaining its dangerous in a way a 2 year old understand), they are given something just as interesting but not harmful to them. What they are learning is "choice", positive redirection, "rewards", healthy relationships, limit setting, respect and so on. This child learned that their care taker loves them and wont hurt them.

Answer 6

There is a book out there on parenting, it is the best and latest on parenting. It is called Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn. The book argues that moving away from both rewards and punishments will create chidren who are motivated to live and learn in much more positive ways. So instead of saying: Johnny you did really well at math today, one would say: You seem to like math a lot right? Instead of saying: You need to study more for your math test and can't play until all your homework is done, one would say: Let me help you understand this math problem. Beyond that, you love your children unconditionally and let them know that to your children through actions primarily, but also with words. You move away from competition oriented terminology and make sure that you always emphasize that your children are having a good time.
This book has revolutionize the way I parent and my children are happier and I am too!!

Answer 7

I truly think it depends on the child and the situation. If a child is misbehaving, offering rewards is like bribing them. However, offering rewards for continuing good behavior lets them know that they are doing well. Threatening punishment if the child doesn't stay on track will only stress them out. Kids have enough pressures without wondering how much trouble they will be in if something slips.

Answer 8

rewards. punishment 1. is unpleasant and causes negative attitudes about too many things 2. doesn't always work 3. only works when the punisher is around 4. even if it does work, the effects last only so long. i think it's either bandura or skinner who came up with the whole idea that you can use reward and punishment to make a child do whatever you want. it was whoever said that if you gave him a child he could make that child whatever you wanted.

Answer 9

this would depends on which perspective you are writing it from, for my self I think a healthy mixture of the two is the best way forward.

I also question the effectiveness of rewards...............ie IF you are good then I will buy you a toy...................that is NOT right, good behavior, good grades etc etc should be enough for the child with a good self esteem [which you build on from the day they are born] and should NOT hinge on if I do this I shall get a reward, for instance you don't get a toy or sweeties for doing your work you get a pay check...................

I suppose what I am trying to impress is that each child should be an integral part of his family and their needs and none of which should be contingent upon a reward................

By reward when you are writing your essay I would also express what type of reward you are looking at..................for my kids helping tidy their toys away and clearing the table together meant that I had the little bit of extra time to sit and read an extra story but was it really a reward OR working together as an integral family unit.

Answer 10

Today's society would say rewards. I beg to disagree. Just take a look in your local newspaper or better yet; go to a local court. Today's generation have gone without discipline and have turned into monsters. If the child needs a spanking; give it to them. There is a correct way and a wrong way. Never punish your child when you are angry; wait until you cool down.