That is what I was told last Saturday... I was not acting any different than I usually do around my friends and family... They all act the same to... But Saturday, when I was hanging out with new people I was called homophobic! How can I be homophobic?! I am gay (I am the only one that knows that though)!
2006-09-12 15:05:57 · 38 answers · asked by liam_maccarthaigh 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It is possible that you give off a homophobic feeling because you are the only one that knows you are gay. Before I came out I gave off the same kind of feeling just because I was afraid of anyone finding out that I was gay, most of all my mom. It doesn't mean you are homophobic it just manes you give off that feeling. Why are you the only one who knows you are gay, are you comfortable with it?
2006-09-12 15:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by jeremy_Grewal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gay people CAN have internalized homophobia and heterosexism. There are attitudes and beliefs that have been drilled into your head since you were born; these can be kind of difficult to shed. Since you're not providing specifics, I can't say as the label was fairly applied or not, but it is not impossible for a gay man to be homophobic.
Regarding use of the word "homophobic": I agree that it's...imprecise at best, but I will say that every dictionary EVER defines the word as "fear or aversion to..." or something similar. It's NOT used in the clinical sense, and it's not referring only to fear. The word has taken on meaning beyond the combination of its roots. Most cases in which people would use the word "homophobic", heterosexist would apply (often more accurately so, even given the full definition).
2006-09-15 20:25:02 · answer #2 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I would have to know what exactly it was that you did or said just before they made their claim of you being a homophobe in order to make an accurate judgment on the situation. However, since you are gay and closeted as you mention, I'd say that you probably are homophobic, or at least you act homophobic, so that others won't realize that you are gay. If you are acting the way that most of your friends and family act, they are probably homophobic, which is no wonder why you don't want to come out of the closet.
Before I came out, I was never homophobic, but my best friend who was also gay, would act extremely homophobic. When we were alone, he was fine, but around our friends he would be very homophobic. When I came out to our friends, he would be homophobic to me around them. When we were alone he would treat me like an equal, I even think he looked up to me a little, but when we were with our friends he would make totally inappropriate comments. Our friends who ignored his homophobic comments before I came out, began criticizing him for them now, because he was talking about a friend. He lost many friends because of his hurtful comments, including me.
Are you homophobic? I really don't know. If you hate yourself for the way that you are then yes. If not, then because of your fear of friends and family knowing you are gay, you play the roll of a homophobe, so no one suspects the truth. My suggestion is this. If your friends will no longer like you if they know that you're gay, then they aren't really your friends. Find some friends that will like you for you, not for some homophobic image that you portray. Just be real. Real people will like the real you, people that like the "fake" you, aren't your "real" friends.
2006-09-12 18:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your just not comfortable with your sexuality, get laid some more whether it be with the same or the opposite sex and if you are definatley gay next time some plum calls you homophobic, show them they are talking through their behind by kissing one of the group, if its a girl calling you homophobic which it usually is kiss her boyfriend ( you never know he may like it).
2006-09-14 05:13:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Homophobic is behaviour, not your internal orientation. You obviously said or did something that the person took as homophobic. Could it be that that person who said it is trying so hard to be stereotypically gay / or be 'cool' or 'outrageous' by associating with the gay community, that they are just making a laughing-stock of themselves?
If you are sensitive enough to ask if you are homophobic, and upset enough to have to ask, then I would say that you are not.
2006-09-13 04:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by Subic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can be homophobic and gay at the same time.
Maybe because you are the only one that knows your gay, the only way you think you can hide it is by slagging off other gay people. So nobody will guess.
But advise for you is, 'dont wait 2 long till you come out and tell people your gay, because it gets harder and harder'. Like it was for me.
and now people know, im so happy in myself and if i see a fit guy, i can tell people. haha
life is so much easier
good luck
cya
2006-09-12 19:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many gay people are homophobic. They deny their sexuality,and avoid contact with other gay people, because they believe that it takes one to know one, and therefore they might have their secret revealed!
Actually some of the worst homophobic police or other government officials are gay themselves, but in denial or deeply in the closet.
2006-09-12 15:27:46 · answer #7 · answered by michael941260 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you act outwardly agains someone for being gay, you can be labeled homophobic, being gay does not make you immune.
I have listened to African Americans talk about another who was(as they called it) "High Yellow". That was racism in the same manner as they claim discrimination from others for the color of their skin and yet they were doing the same to someone else.
Sorry, being a member of a minority doesn't make you immune from acting in a manner that discriminates against that minority.
2006-09-12 15:22:21 · answer #8 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As someone who suffers from a genuine phobia, I must strongly protest at the use of the term "homophobia" whenever someone disagrees with the homosexual lifestyle for moral, political, religious, or other reasons. I think homosexuals, lesbians, etc, are cool but I get pissed off with this term being bandied around. I have only heard of ONE genuine case of homophobia - a private in the (British) army was raped by his sergeant in some "initiation ritual" - he then killed the sergeant the next time he tried to rape him. This was the only time I have heard the word "homophobia" being used in its' correct context.
BTW, just ignore the comments of your new-found friends, they sound lame.
2006-09-14 06:47:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes there is nothing so homophobic than a gay in denial dearest!
A person who is sure and confident in his own sexuality rarely cares a fig about other peoples' sexuality.
Looks like you have blown your cover!!
2006-09-13 00:50:00 · answer #10 · answered by Raymo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋