Hi, I have a HMK assignment for language arts where we have to use metaphors in a poem, but im kinda stuck... what else should I add? And what do you rate it? - to all of you great poets out there.
2006-09-12 15:00:19 · 6 answers · asked by Jenny(: 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
The day you were put into this earth
You were bound to experience something
To experience something you never would wish
A horrible horrible something
You would wish and wish for it not to happen all day long
But it’s really not that horrific
You will be happy when it’s done
Joyous to be more specific
It is a black cloud hovering over our heads
It is a nightmare that makes us toss and turn in our beds………………
2006-09-12 15:00:33 · update #1
uhm it depends what grade your in.. highschool student? id say a 7.
Ive had a few poems published im not just some ***** being mean.
try to analyze your poem like a teacher would..what something are you speaking of? is this growing old? there are a lot of questions you can ask that will help give you more depth to your poem.
2006-09-12 15:07:43 · answer #1 · answered by Carthlete 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We hasten to meet the dawn of light,
our expectations oft are dampened...
but the events of the previous night,
gave us a glimpse of things that happened.
Is it our destiny to walk the dark,
shall we ever find that ray of light...
for within our souls we'll make the mark,
then cross the shadows with all our might.
We have come this far so we can't be wrong ,
We will not fail to fulfill our journey...
because the burden we carried has made us strong...
The future will be bright and shiny.
2006-09-12 15:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by the sealer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not a poem, it lacks structure and coherent rhythm and meter. If you are in 8th grade or below, it is a good effort and will likely get a C or perhaps a B if your English teacher is dumb. If you are in high school, I suggest trying to find some meter (such as iambic pentameter).
2006-09-12 15:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by Soda Popinski 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yikes!! i think you are a little of track, if you are to use metaphors it is more like "your teeth gleam as the freshly fallen snow, your eyes angry blue as the tempest sea, hair as long as the days without you................... something like that. the beginning confuses me because you say into the earth, this person just die?? maybe look up on dictionary sites or try www.wikipedia.com. good luck, keep the faith. i am not gonna rate it as it is not a finished work and i have a feeling you didn't try nearly as hard as you could have. hope you stick with it and do well!!
2006-09-12 15:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by beaniefufer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent well done 10
2006-09-12 15:03:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
post your poems on my teen forum http://z10.invisionfree.com/Hottest_Of_2006/index.php?
2006-09-12 15:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by Cutie992 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋