He moved out. I later found out that he had met someone(s?) else. I saw a lawyer. He said that it is cheaper if he files and I answer. I told my husband that he could go ahead and file, the kids and I will be fine. He says that he does not want a divorce? What?
2006-09-12 14:41:43 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is effectively paying support now. He pays tuition for the kids, the mortgage for where I am living and the utility bills.
2006-09-12 14:47:59 · update #1
sounds like money is an issue. Good luck. If you can afford a lawyer, get a different one. You might want a female. He can't hold you as his marraige hostage. Is he Catholic or just a Jerk?
2006-09-12 14:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fine, then do YOU want a divorce? If so then YOU file for the divorce and have your attorney hire an investigator for you and prove your husband was unfaithful, that's good grounds for divorce. If your state is a "no fault" then you don't need a reason. Talk with an attorney. Remember that you have to be serious about wanting a divorce (and remove your money before he gets to it so you have something to work with) because as soon as you go to an attorney the attorney will start asking questions and your husband will hear that you have seen the attorney without you telling him.
Some people stay married until they are sure the new person wants them, or stay married because they think they can still certain deductions if they are still married and by that they will still be getting a good refund back. Could also be his status that's keeping him from being divorced. Or, maybe he's just a controlling person, in that case be very careful.
2006-09-12 14:48:51 · answer #2 · answered by sophieb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be one of two things. Either he does not want to look like the bad guy by initiating the divorce, or he wants it as an excuse why he can't marry the new girlfriend/other woman. Another reason is that he still wants to keep you as back up if things do not work out with the new girlfriend. I recommend interviewing other family law or divorce attorneys in the area for the best fit and price for the divorce. I doubt he will be filing for divorce any time soon by his words.
2006-09-12 16:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by dawncs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I`ve been in this before my x wanted to stay maried yet have his girlfriend too, oh girl please girl go file, he is only afraid that if this new affair doesn`t work that he will always have you. Really he won`t you and him will never be the same. Let him take that grass that he thought was greener and choke on it, you need to live your life for you and your children. There is a new life out there for you go after it. Good Luck!!! Wait a minute I went back and see you added that he pays for it all you can still have that get a lawyer he`s the one who did the deed and left make him still pay for the kids the house there are lawyers out there that would be glad to have this case. Good Luck!
2006-09-12 14:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by mollyzowiepink 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would consult another lawyer. It shouldn't matter who files for divorce. If he has moved out and is involved with another woman, you have legitimate grounds for divorce. He probably doesn't want the divorce because he knows he'll have to pay child support and possibly spousal support depending on the circumstances of your financial situation and the laws of your state. Get a second opinion. You shouldn't have to live your life married to a man who has left you for someone else.
2006-09-12 15:02:24 · answer #5 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the exact problem, only my ex never wanted to move out. At this point it doesn't really matter what he wants, it's about you and your children. Do you want a divorce? Either way, I don't know how much cheaper it is if he files. I filed and he answered but he still had to get a lawyer and because of his very bad behavior, had to pay all the court costs. You might ask your attorney about having the ex pay court costs and his fees. It may be worth filing on your part. I know it was for me, I got everything!!
2006-09-12 14:50:25 · answer #6 · answered by Sonia Jo 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The same thing happened to me only we did not have kids together..
I was not in a hurry to get together with anyone so it didn't matter to me if we were married or not.. but.. then i started to think.. here in WI all of his bills would be mine if something happened to him.. (car wreck or something) and.. if he took out loans or something i could be made to pay for half or all of it if he didn't pay the loans..
He didn't want to pay for the paper work is why he never filed.. I ended up filing 2 years after the fact and he still acted like he didn't want to get a divorce even after 2 years had passed..
I figure he might have been hoping something would happen to me and he would end up with everything he left behind when he left...
Just do it.. get the papers and do it your self.. there are people to help you do it and sights on line..
2006-09-12 14:49:59 · answer #7 · answered by Ibdreamin099 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah it may be cheaper if he files, but do you really want to wait around for that to happen while he is out having flings all over. You should go ahead a file, and make sure that he has to pay for it. Get him for child support, and let him know that you will not put up with him crap. Cheating on you is wrong, and you can find someone out there that loves you, and will not cheat on you..
2006-09-12 14:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by Just Me 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He may just be going through a period. He probably still loves you but some issue is tearing you guys apart. He needs to be man enough to deal with it however. The other person is just a interesting destraction. His real issues are with you.
Ok, the guy is weasel for not dealing with the problem straight up but many of us are weak on that issue. Meanwhile, you get your head together. Don't fall into his sickness. If you ran to another man, would that really solve anything? You need time to do some thinking and not stressing. Get involved in stress free activities, get in touch with yourself mentally and spiritually. Good luck!
2006-09-12 14:52:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he really does not want a divorce because he knows that once it is final he will lose you forever.
I was in the same boat a few years ago, I moved out, then realised what I had lost. We ended up sorting things out and I can honestly say we can not be any happier. I love my wife more now then I have ever loved her and it grows everyday.
Speak to him to see what he really wants and take it from there. I regret the drama my wife and I went through, but I beleive it made us stronger then we would have ever been. I hope it works out happy for you and you have a great life ahead.
2006-09-12 14:58:30 · answer #10 · answered by I'm In Love With Delicious 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go ahead an file instead of waiting around for him to file for divorce. Many people get what you call a no fault divorce. But He's already met someone. So now its time for you to meet someone thats going to be good to you and your children. Don't waste your time on this guy. Go have fun & enjoy life! Good luck!
2006-09-12 14:54:55 · answer #11 · answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋