Okay before we got married my husband had a porn addiction. He gave that up cause porn became boring for him. Then he started liking real people having sex (so it wasnt fake). Well now he wants to give up everything because "sex in his head 24/7" is becoming a problem. Its making him want to go back to porn or related things. Now he said he would try to stop completely but he is still looking for different sex related stuff on the internet. He's really getting pissed off at this cause it has hurt me before. MY QUESTION IS: How to start getting over this for real??? Guys what have you done?? or Girls what has your mate done???
2006-09-12 14:26:45 · 43 answers · asked by **What??** 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have a serious answer that u want to talk to me about contact me. Thanks!!
2006-09-12 14:27:36 · update #1
Most men don't talk about this but hear goes....
Porn is bad. Anyway you try to package it. I was ever addicted, but i found myself getting into it a little more than I was comfortable with. most men have a "secret stash of something pornographic" whether it is a magazine, or movie, etc.. the Internet provides endless websites and other activities that could keep a wondering mind active. The only way I am able to suppress my thoughts is through God's help. I say this in all honesty it is very difficult to break this habit without some sense of accountability. I am sure he will be able to sneak around as long as no one on earth is watching. He may also seek counseling, but again, this is only as good as the eyes can see. I would have him really talk to you about not only his thoughts, but fantasies...If you are his wife, he should be able to confide in you. you can be his support partner as he tries to kick the habit!!
Good luck!!
2006-09-12 14:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by O Jam 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Help him to try and view it as an immoral unclean habbit. Sex is suppose to be a private intimate thing between two people and not an open view for all to see. I know it's not easy because I still struggle with it myself. I've been away from it awhile now but sometimes I still get the urge to go to a porn site. He just has to keep telling himself that that stuff makes you a selfish person and causes you to fail in relationships because real life is not a porn scene. Sex is suppose to be about giving not taking.
2006-09-12 14:37:02 · answer #2 · answered by ezlayedback 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a guy who has struggled a little with this I can tell you that the reason why he is looking is because he can. This box that we are using can be a good thing but it can also be a bad thing. I would like to suggest that if he is willing to try to quit then the two of you agree to get rid of the computer. Take it out of your home. If you have cable then get rid of that. It is always easier for me to not view it if it isn't available. The only sure way to do that is to take the access away. That will force him to come home and find something else to do. You never know where that might lead. Hope that helps.
2006-09-12 15:13:56 · answer #3 · answered by RedC. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I love porn, really love porn; but it doesn't affect my relationship with my wife. we watch porn together; i have a stash of porn movies; i also love the female body; I can look at bikini clad women all day. When my wife and I go to the beach, she reads and i people watch. i watch women's beach volleyball, women's miss fitness events, women's athletics and other female sports just to see flesh. But that's just it, i really don't do anything other that enjoy the look of a beautiful shapely woman. It doesn't affect my relationship with my wife either - who by the way is tall and has a great body. Providing he's not ignoring you, let the guy do what he enjoys and he'll be a happy man.
2006-09-13 10:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn addiction is a real problem but just like any other addiction it can be controlled. In order for him to control it though he needs to talk with a professional for help. I was looking at some of your other questions. I would suggest getting some marriage counseling. I don't say that because I want to insult you but if you are unhappy in your marriage then you should get help to make the most of it, for the both of you.
2006-09-12 14:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by angie_adie 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
"I am a porn addict". You will NEVER ever hear someone say that "I am a recovering porn addict". The reason is that it isn't a typical addiction and may not even be close enough to be called an addiction period. Basically we all do what we like to do regardless of who's watching or what labels society has for us. If you like to fish and you fish every day for your entire life people will label you a fisherman but if you look at and enjoy the sight of porn and look at it everyday then you are a pervert or a porn addict when in reality you are a connoisseur of adult films.
Let him enjoy what he's good at and what he likes doing and you will always have a happy man in your life. Restrict him and nag him and you soon find yourself alone. Don't make it a bigger issue than it is. HE CANNOT OVERDOSE ON PORN, HE WILL NOT SERVE TIME FOR POSSESSION AND HE WILL NOT POP ON A URINALYSIS TEST.
2006-09-12 14:37:15 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Battery 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I believe he needs some support from other people who have been there and who understand what he is going thru, since most of us can't fathom why he can't just stop, or would be quick to label him and tell you to leave him. I feel sad for you because I am sure this really hurts you, and isolates you because it has GOT to be something that you feel ashamed to talk about for fear of being judged. It certainly isn't YOU, and really has nothing to do with you, as the GORGEOUS Halle Berry even dealt with this with a very handsome & succesful man who clearly loved her, but just couldn't stop. To me, the only thing that he can possibly do is get REALLY deeply involved with sex addicts support groups, as NO one there will judge him...or YOU, but will give tried and true advice and support to begin to live with & conquer the urge he feels constantly. It won't be easy but these people will love & support you for who you are , and that will help the two of you be able to be honest enough about everything that is going on that you can see the bigger picture. They will support you as well as him, and you will need that support to either stick with him thru this or to decide that you've tried all you can and move on...either way, you will need friends, and support. Good Luck, and try...try...try...not to take it personally, it really, truly, has NOTHING to do with you or your sex appeal, or even his love for you.
2006-09-12 14:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by MonsterMash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any addiction can be over come. BUT the person must WANT to stop it. it sounds a bit as if he is playing with your mind, hes addicted to porn, then he like to watch real people at it. if you dont watch out he will be wanting you to play act for him. or maybe a three some. or you & a mate. just be aware, i have sent you a site to help you,
2006-09-12 14:39:40 · answer #8 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My friends husband had this problem and she made him go to a councelor. It is actually a serious problem. I personally could never be with someone who had this problem(after seeing what my friend went through) I mean what if it is Sex addiction not just porn. I think you need to make sure what is actually going on and then tell him you won't stay with him unless he gets real help. You sound very concerned so I think you will no the right thing to do.
2006-09-12 14:30:54 · answer #9 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I would suggest having heaps of good quality sex with your husband. Porn probably bored him early on as you were giving him everything he needed. Now the quantity/quality of your sex life has changed again and he is turning back to porn.
Give him good sex and lots of it and you must want it too. Occassionally reward him by watching porn with him and then acting it out together - porn star sex - it's great!!!
2006-09-12 15:12:57 · answer #10 · answered by siapanther 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋