My girlfriend has be raped twice and he parents wont do anything and she really dosnt feel safe at all ! she was raped once by her uncle not too long ago and about 3-4 years ago by some other dude! she wants to move in with me or go somewhere with me because she just dosnt feel safe ! with her uncle living there and the guy not to faraway.....for one if i find this kid that did it im killing him.....im gunna give him wut he has coming to him he is gunna get his *** beat the **** in! and so is her uncle......but that is beside the point , i dont wanna have her feeling unsafe and that her parents could careless i dont want her to be like that.....we are engaged now and and i wanna let her move in to protect her....but shes only 15 tuning 16 in feb im 17! help!
2006-09-12 13:19:40 · 17 answers · asked by Big Mike 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
she already went to the police and they only gave her uncle 30 days in jail.....and he only spent 10 of them in jail.....and the other dude only got a slap on the wrist and told him not to do it again cuz hes only 16
2006-09-12 13:26:59 · update #1
we live in Ohio
2006-09-12 13:30:39 · update #2
First of all, I feel so sorry for your girlfriend and im sorry that that freak uncle raped her. that is absolutly disturbing. ok, so, she is 15? And you are 16 and engaged!!!! That is young but you sound like a nice responsible boyfriend to do that. Now, I personally think that she should move in with you. tell her to pack her bags and move in. cuddle her and tell her its going to be ok.
2006-09-12 17:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was involved in a similar situation when I was 19. The girl decided to confide in me, because we'd been flirting and she had a crush on me. I made the huge mistake of thinking that I was personally responsible to protect her and to exact revenge on her rapist. Let me tell you, when it came down to it, she chose her family over me, and I became the one accused of rape. I lost all my friends and her because she wanted it to stop, but didn't want to accept the sacrifices required to make that happen.
You can't turn back time and you can't undo the rape, even by killing the ones who did it. So forget about that and forget about the rapes.The real problem here is one of maturely accepting that you're girlfriend has already been f'd, has had previous sexual partners. Sure it'd be nice if she was a virgin when she met you, and sure it's kind of disgusting. So the only question is do you want to be the guy who's got the sloppy seconds or are you mature enough to not care, realizing that everyone makes mistakes and has different experiences, and you can't control her or own her.
Secondly, she's going to have serious mental health issues over this. Just the fact that she doesn't feel safe and wants you to protect her means she needs real professional help now. And the real kicker is that those guys who did that to her will always be in her head, and somewhere in there she feels guilty and thinks she's a complete nothing, worth nothing.
And also she'll be looking for that same experience again, one way or the other, because it's all she knows. She may get used to you protecting her and being all nice, but down deep she thinks she deserves to be pushed around and abused, and when you don't do it, she'll feel like you don't love her, because that's become part of love to her.
Since it's already gone to trial and punishment has been meted out, you're one step ahead of me, who was never able to bring the ****** to justice. All they did was question him and the mother finally got divorced, but all my promises to keep her safe went to hell when they questioned me too! I'm lucky I didn't get arrested and every day I have to wonder if that guy isn't raping other girls all these years.
But I remind myself that it isn't and never was my responsibility and if she really loved me she wouldn't have asked me to risk my life to fix hers.
2006-09-12 14:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you working full time yet? Until you're working full time you shouldn't be living together unless your parents will allow her to move in with you guys and she can have her own room.
Honestly, this may sound really rude and insensitive, but if you're going to live together get her on the pill until she's done school. You guys are really young, and no more mature than what is expected of someone of your age.
She really does need out of this situation. If your family doesn't have room for her to have her own space in your house, you should call child protection services and have her put into a foster home for six monthes, they'll only look after her until she's sixteen unless she gets signed in until the age of eighteen which would really suck. So best of luck and remember... girls her age need their PERSONAL space.
2006-09-12 13:31:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you call the police, they will more than likely put her in some sort of home, i think that is why she has not said anything yet.
What I would suggest is that when she turns 16, (If the law allows) and if you trully love her then you should get her parents conscent and marry her so that she can become immancipated and move in with you. Then call the cops on those pieces of ......... that did that to her.
I don't like ratting on people, but what they did could scar her for the rest of her life.
Do what you got to do hommie.
2006-09-12 13:27:15 · answer #4 · answered by cdubsj2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on 10 days in jail for rape... that should be more lik 1 year or 3 . But moving in is a good thing but you cant cause she is under age. Just stay with her and HELP HER
2006-09-12 15:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police I know that if I were in her place I would be scared too. The fact that she is under age is even worse, but if you love her then you will do whatever it takes to keep her safe. She can just run away and go stay with you . Or try talking to her parents and get their consent so that you 2 can get married. GOOD LUCK
2006-09-12 14:45:51 · answer #6 · answered by babygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense man, and this isn't something you want to hear, trust me, but something just isn't kosher about all of this...This sounds like a "pay attention to me" ploy on the part of your girlfriend. No parent in their right mind would ignore that unless it were literally untrue and the child had a history of telling gargantuan whoppers. The parents would probably still take the child to the doctor to be examined. I'm just finding it incredibly hard to swallow that your girlfriend has been raped. More likely than not she just wants you to display your protectiveness of her. I certainly wouldn't go jumping on people and getting into fights and getting myself in trouble over such a fishy story.
2006-09-12 14:03:18 · answer #7 · answered by A.R. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need consent from your parents so you two can be with each other 24/7.
How would you able to continue school and financial obligations at the same time.
I understand your concern but, there are other things to consider. How far can you two survives? I am not judging you but you need to think multiple times before committing.
I wish you two the best.
2006-09-12 13:53:19 · answer #8 · answered by tangerine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is under age, you might get into trouble if she moves in with you this soon. But regardless if her parents do anything, she needs to go to the police station and make a report. Rape is a very serious thing and needs serious action. I am the wife of a cop. And he said to take action.
2006-09-12 13:23:45 · answer #9 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i wouldn't say to move far away to another state with her yet try renting an apartment first bc she and u are still a litle to young .. but she should make a report to the police about it and try to get evidence .. oh my grandpa used to work with other cops guarding and arresting ppl he was also in the airforce so he has tolde alot of safety tips ... so he you need advice or help just write back
2006-09-12 14:06:28 · answer #10 · answered by Lyssa Marie. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋