MY BOYFRIENDS EX IS SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT ME TO THEIR 9 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND SHE REPEATED THIS TO ME TONIGHT. WHEN I TOLD HIM HE DIDNT SEEM TO CARE MUCH AND JUST PRETTY MUCH SAID DONT WORRY ABOUT IT. NOW WHY WOULD A GUY LET ANYONE TALK BAD ABOUT HIS GIRLFRIEND THAT HE CLAIMS TO LOVE? HE DIDNT CALL HER AND TELL HER TO STOP SAYING BAD THINGS AND HONESTLY HE DIDNT EVEN SEEM UPSET. I WAS UPSET AND CRYING AND HE JUST WALKED DOWNSTAIRS AND LEFT ME UPSET ALONE WITH OUR 5 WEEK OLD DAUGHTER WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK
2006-09-12 13:19:39 · 17 answers · asked by sad lately 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sweetheart, you have every right to be upset. Your boyfriend sounds like a very heartless person, sorry to say. He needs to grow up. Seriously. I know people often say, "Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars." but only a moron would not realise that his girlfriend is very upset. His ex-girlfriend needs serious help as well. If she detests you so much, she still does not have the right to use her young child as a go-between. That's very low. I hope you find a solution to the problem, soon. At least I hope you are aware of the fact that you are not the wrong one here.
2006-09-12 13:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by Petra M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW. Umm...UNACCEPTABLE!! But don't be a hypocrite...when your daughter is old enough, be the bigger person and don't do the same thing she did. It would only make your tears pointless, and selfish. But his behavior...not acceptable. Maybe he got other things in his mind and he things you're being childish, but nothing should give him an excuse to act careless. Cause you are the step mom. It's not wrong to be upset. Talk to people you know you can trust that know him well. Maybe they'll provide some insight to the way he's just ignoring this. But talk about it with him if you really want things to change. Words are only spoken,but actions do speak louder. GOOD LUCK!!! and CONGRATULATIONS on your new baby!!!
2006-09-12 13:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by LadyD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your boyfriend is an insensitive jackass. He should have call his ex on the spot and checked her on that crap. By doing or saying nothing he is inadvertently sending a message to his daughter that he agrees. If you can continue to put up with his crap, he will continue to crap on you. Don't go out like a weeping pansy. Be strong and demand your respect. You must always remember that you, and you alone are in control of your destiny. I will be praying for you. Peace and God bless.
2006-09-12 13:25:37 · answer #3 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first..you need to toughen up. second.. tell the little girl.. that you are sorry her mommy does not like you..and she is mistaken about the things that she is saying. say, i have nothing against your mommy and from now on..you do not have to tell me..what mommy says. tell the little girl..that you do want her to like you..because you like her... and she is your babies.. sister. do not put the nine yr old in the middle. your boyfriend cannot control...what his ex tells his daughter. but he can tell the daughter... that he loves..and supports you. i am sure you wanted more of a response from him. however if you keep making big deal.. the ex will win. he will get tired of the crying and complaining. tread lightly honey. use your brain. this is touchy situation. try to enjoy the nine yr old...let her be in her sisters life and a helper. if boyfriend is doing ok otherwise.. enjoy your baby together.
2006-09-12 13:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WoW... he didn't even hold you and tell you its okay until you stoped crying... mann... men just don't get it!!!
Don't let it bother you the ex is just jealous b/c you two are in love and have a child together so you have something she doesn't have the man! Look over it your b/f doesn't want to let the ex know it is bothering you but let the 9 yr old know it isn't true.
2006-09-12 13:23:38 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, while he should say something to her, she's most likely doing it to be a beeyotch to upset you which because she now knows it's working on you, and if she continues she thinks maybe it'll get to him as well. she'll continue doing it, and that's prob'ly why he's saying don't worry about it because it's not worth it, to get upset over it.
He's prob'ly just tryin' to keep it from getting to him because that's exactly what his ex wants to happen, if you continue to let her get to you she'll never stop. but if you just let it pass, and the older child says these things, she's trying to pass her judgement of you on to the child because she thinks it might make that impression stick.
So just to spite her, keep doing good things for the older daughter when she's around you and your boyfriend and treat her as your own child, the child will make up her own mind about who you really are eventually, and see just how little maturity her mom really has by acting that way.
good luck, and keep your head up ok?
2006-09-12 13:37:28 · answer #6 · answered by quiksilver8676 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not the one for you. He doesn't give you respect. He should be the one to talk to his ex-girlfriend and tell her to stop. Just forget about this relationship it will not work. Most people that see my answer here know that I always look for a way to mend things not destroy them., but in this case, there is no other remedy for what your boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend are doing.
2006-09-12 13:23:53 · answer #7 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you, my sister is in exactly the same situation. (minus the 5 week old daughter - congratulations, by the way!)
I personally feel that you're right to feel upset. Try sitting your partner down and explaining why this has hurt you, and what you would like for him to do about it.
Hope that helps :)
2006-09-12 13:24:37 · answer #8 · answered by Edward collinderhands 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was bad of him to do that, but those r some of the things that u need to put up with. Well u don't actually, sit down and make him understand that that is not right. Make him realize it, put him in the receiving end. Good luck.
2006-09-12 13:24:41 · answer #9 · answered by a7xrios 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sad_lately
i feel for you as i have been in your shoes but really what can he do...he can say something to her but do you think this will help or hinder...it will probably just make things worse hon...it is one of those fight your own battles thing...or just ignore her and it will pass with time .... she is just jealous right now...that you are spending time with her daughter is all...dont let that bother you...when you hear these things just think to yourself SHE has some SERIOUS issues and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with ME....because really it doesnt...but she is her own person and there isnt anything HE can do to stop her or her tongue ...you know what i mean....so god bless you and i hope all works out well for you....it will get better....and i do think it bothered him that is why he left and had to walk out and deal with his own emotions for awhile...i dont think it is that he doesnt love you...i think he doesnt know what to do and is hoping it will pass....men are not good at sticky stuff and emotions
2006-09-12 13:25:41 · answer #10 · answered by fantasia91273 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋