by the way I am 56
2006-09-12 13:01:00 · 12 answers · asked by snakemantom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
be his friend not a father first as he may act against it and see you as an intruder find his intrest and act on that eg, if he likes base ball offer to have a few hits ect. that would be less damaging than trying to stand your gorund and he may just think oh wow this man is kinda cool hes not trying to take my mother from me and replace my dad.
2006-09-12 13:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on whether or not this 11 year old boy has other male role models in his life (his father maybe).....you don't want to appear to be trying to 'take over' from someone else in his life.
But given time and with a positive attitude on your part he will come to realize that he always has room for one more friend.
By the way, don't EVER let him see you mistreat or disrespect his mother in any way. Boys are very protective of their mothers, especially when she is 'on her own' in the world. He probably sees himself as her protector in some respect and hurting her will NOT help your relationship with him.
2006-09-12 20:10:27 · answer #2 · answered by Puzzler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a hard one... One thing that you can never do is take the place of the real parent... Even if the relationship was not a good one between him and the mother... The son will look at you as coming between them ( you and his mother ) Give it some time... If you are your self with him.. And show him that you are there to stay... You are not there to walk in and out of his life.. Some children have a hard time accepting another person because of there fears of getting close and loosing them to... They remember pain more then anything at this time in there life... Give him time to come around to you... in the mean time... DOnt push it to hard... Maybe he is testing you.......
2006-09-12 21:39:57 · answer #3 · answered by levita45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a month when you are out with the mother take a day and all of you have a day together. Sometime children feel left behind. Let him know that you are not trying to take the place of his father, you just trying to spend sometime with him and his mother. Children are venerable at a certain age. Specially when the are over protective of their mom. Be calm, gentle and friendly. DON'T TRY TO BUY THIS CHILD GIFTS DO NOT MEAN ANYTHING.
2006-09-12 20:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by hotnpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First try getting him to go out with his mom and you on your next date. Try to think like a 11 year old. Ask mom what he likes to do? Also is this a serious relationship and long have you been dateing?
2006-09-12 21:15:27 · answer #5 · answered by radar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off: don't try to act like his dad or try to be his best firend. he's had his mom a lot longer than you've had your girlfriend. boys take longer to warm up to other people than girls becaust htey see themselfes as being the protector of their moms.
Just talk to him, not as a dad or anything. just as a guy.
i really hope that I've helped a little. Good luck and God bless.
2006-09-12 20:15:09 · answer #6 · answered by ariel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband found the best way to get my kids to accept him was to above all be himself and to treat me and them with the same respect, understanding, and emotions that he shared with his own children. When we went out we would take one night for just us and then the next night we would include the kids in it and let them decide what they wanted to do. He told my kids from the very beginning that he knew he wasn't their father and he didn't want to take their dad's place he wanted to have his own place in their lives and that he loved me and wanted us all to be together he would respect them and be there for them all he asked was they respected him as they would any adult. Don't push give him the time and space he needs.
2006-09-12 20:30:25 · answer #7 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be yourself,,kids can pick up on things and if you try and 'win' his love by buying gifts..going places..playing the nice-nice game...they will see right through your 'plan' to buy their acceptance so just be yourself and i believe your girlfriend will totally agree because she wouldn't want a man that would use her son to get to her.......she would espect your williness and honesty,,to be a friend to her son,,,,,,,,,
2006-09-12 20:41:39 · answer #8 · answered by ggmsixer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
treat him with respect that you would like to be treated with! and try to act natural around him. try to make him feel that you like him too.
2006-09-12 20:12:29 · answer #9 · answered by luckydog7997 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself. Kids know when you're trying too hard.
They can also smell fear lol ;)
2006-09-12 20:03:23 · answer #10 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋