hi, I'm a guy and my boyfriend left me, i knew since the beginning he was not totally gay, that he'd decided to stay with me just because we were good friends and i helped him a lot with his drug and alcohol addiction..I'm a Krishna ,I don't drink and I don't smoke and I inspired him to practice yoga and spirituality and he was making huge progress on his path....but he left me days ago..said he found a girl and he wanted to get married and have kids. It wrenched my heart but i let him go, with my heart painfully broken and because i knew his orientation and desires before. I love this guy, he's Russian and tough, and after God, he was the one who most gave me happiness in my life..we used to walk along the beach, late at night and i used to be with him when his impulses to drugs would make him get crazy...the thing is (and I didn't know that) is that this girl he's now hanging out with is much older and is a junkie, smokes pot and all the stuff and now he's doing all the same again...
2006-09-12 12:41:25 · 21 answers · asked by Fabulous, young and broke! 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
he came my home two days ago, completely drunk and asked me to take care of him, I did...somehow his girlfriend knew and made a scandal...i love him dearly but i dunno what do to..he's free to do whatever he wants...
2006-09-12 12:42:51 · update #1
Damn man. Sorry to hear bout that. I wanted to punch the Russian guy in the face as I was reading through your message. Anyway dude, don't feel so bad. I'm sure you're far worth more thatn what you think you are. Man, you were able to make him lose the drugs while he was with you. That's worth a lot. And if I were you, think of this as a turning ponit in your life to find someone better who can give you the love that you desrve. As well as a stepping stone in your life to improve yourself and your life. :-)
you can email me at maspatisoy@Yahoo.com if you wanna be friends. i'm sure a person who doesnt smoke nor drink will get along with the same. :-))))
Take care.
ANd stop that cryin' now. It's just a guy. hehe
2006-09-12 16:25:30 · answer #1 · answered by pinoy_rockstar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I share the view of most people replying to this question that you should cut loose from this guy. It sounds very much as if he's using you now.
In my vocabulary a junkie is addicted to opiates, not just a pothead. Drinking is an addiction but as he's Russian he's never going to throw that one.
In time you'll get over it. For the time being better take up some activity that prevents you dwelling on what has happened. Something that involves sustained physical exertion is probably the most effective.
2006-09-12 20:42:02 · answer #2 · answered by Augusta B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, here's the deal in a nutshell. You love him very much and had the patience to walk him through the rough periods of his life. I'm very sure in the back of his mind, he knows. However; you indicated that he wasn't really gay from the start.
It sounds like he is using you and now her. Stay away from him. Yes it may break your heart now; but in the long run you'll be better off. Besides, he's unstable and may go deeper into the rabbit hole of drugs. I'm only concern about you and your health. People who have drug additions tend to not think clearly when it comes to safe protected sex. Why risk your life and mental health for someone who doesn't appreciate your kindness, and rock like courage.
Not many people would have open their doors to someone in his condition, yet you did. Now its time to take care of yourself. If he comes back again. Tell him no, because the same scenario of this woman will make it worse in the long run. Don't get caught up in their drug/alcohol ruling stage!
2006-09-12 19:53:54 · answer #3 · answered by Swordfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless you, you are a saint. I don't know why it is but for some reason it seems people cannot help but be attracted to bast**ds. Deep down you know your friend is no good, and yet you cling to the hope that he will change knowing that he is at best bi-sexual so that you could never completely have him to yourself. You need to stop this right now and go completely cold turkey. DO NOT let him back into your home. He WILL break your heart and distroy your life. By all means continue to be a friend and try to get him to turn around, but do that on YOUR terms. This will be the hardest choice you will have to make but the very fact that you've posted here means that you're ready to do so. Your own friends will help you when the time comes and you need emotional support to get you through it. But STOP with this guy now,he is totally bad news (as are the drugs he's doing) and you know it. YOU cannot change him even though you wish you could. So move on and find someone who will care for you with as much conviction as you have cared for him.
Ok, now lets all re-group and send that **** John C some hate mail!!!!
2006-09-12 19:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by God 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Everyone has to make choices in life. It sounds like your BF is making bad ones. As Painful as it will be my suggestion to you is Move On. Don't subject yourself to being his Nursemaid when he slips off the wagon or wants some for Old times sake. You sound like a sincere person who deserves more from life than being someones Dumping ground for Falls from the wagon or simply someone to tag them over until there next fling comes along. Loosing LOVE is NEVER easy. That's why we have songs like Love Hurts. But the Nice thing about LOVE is that as much as it hurts to loose it. A New LOVE can erase BAD painful memories and allow you to create New ones. Take time to be with Friends and family now. Having LOVE around you also helps you get through Loosing it. Love will shine in your heart again Just be patient and Know you deserve MUCH better than what you lost.
2006-09-12 19:57:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your pain, but you have to accept that he's not coming back, and you must move on with your own life.
In fact, you know that you were used by this person. He wasn't honest with you, and he wanted your support while he dealt with his own problems.
You are worth so much more than this. My advice - avoid contact with him. It's hard to do that I know - you feel like you could maybe make a go of it second time around, and if only he would wake up and see sense - but the truth is if you ever took him back, he would be the same person, and would repeat the same behaviors.
Take a break from dating, concentrate on yourself for a while, and avoid this destructive person.
2006-09-12 19:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds confused. Are you sure he loves this woman or is just hanging around cause of the drugs ect? She is really a good influence on him isn't she?This guy needs more help than YOU can give him. He sounds self-destructive to me!!!!!!!!!Next time he comes by try to talk some sense into him or the problem will soon solve itself. He'll be dead soon at that rate!
2006-09-12 23:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let that man go, his no good for you. Your the one with the upper hand here, you don't need none of that sh*t in your life, there are many great guys out there that won't cause you all this drama boo, open your eyes and see that everything happens for a reason and if he left and wants to be with women then let things be cause you never know wasting your time with him may cause you to lose or miss a better opportunity that may come! think about it Hun and good luck!!!
2006-09-14 14:24:47 · answer #8 · answered by sour_apple809 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can only do so much, and by the sounds of it you did a lot for him. it's a shame that he's kicked sand in your face but you have to be the bigger man and let your faith guide you to your next assignment. It sounds like he was not ready to commit to change and prehaps in time he will come around again. sorry for the heart ache but thems the breaks sometimes. You sound like a good catch anyway and shouldnt have to many problems picking up someone else :)
2006-09-12 19:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by Im_a_ gummie_Bear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hon, cut this one loose! You are not up to solving his problems, and these problems are very real. He is an addict, you will not be able to help him, only he can do that, and he shows NO inclination to help himself. He is doing nothing but using you. You are caught up in the "white knight syndrome." Trust me, neither you on your stead, nor Mighty Mouse will save this guy's day...You are enabling him to do the drugs, to do nothing but destroy himself. IF you are not there to pick up the pieces, he will have to do it himself...and that is the only way he is going to see the light. NO matter how good you are, no matter what you do, it is YOU doing it, NOT him. Get out of this situation, there is nothing good that can come from it for you, nor for him. Good luck. Fall in love with someone who will love you back, not use you.
2006-09-12 19:53:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋