I've been married 7 years. Since we have a little boy , our relationship seemed going down hill. 4 Months ago, I found a girl's driver license and her photo in his wallet. More than that I found her emails that were very naughty , like" wish you in the bathroom with me, taking shower and helping me with..." I also found out that my husband called that girl every hour , every day. I confronted him and he told me that just purely friendship!!! I tried really hard to accept his explanations but I couldn't because he still locks his cellphone. He hides his car key and wallet as soon he gets home. These make him very suspicious that he is still doing stuff behind my back.
I truly love him and want to work things out, but he seems not working hard enough on our relationship.
What should I do now? I'm thinking hired private detective
Please give me some feedback .
Thanks
2006-09-12 11:40:28 · 15 answers · asked by anh n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Once u lose trust it is very very hard to regain that trust.what u shoukd do is sit him down and say this:baby,i want u to be very honest with me and tell me whats goingon,i reallydo love u but if ur messing over me u need to let me know.and also make sure he understand that its gonna hurt more if he continues to lie to me.so just try to start over new with him kinda like when u break up wit someone and then have to makeup......just startover new thats the only way u can regain his trust!
2006-09-12 11:46:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is cheating, if not physically, then mentally. Something in your marriage is lacking for him. I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong, but with the wide world of the NET, he is probably seeing some things he would like to explore. This other woman is testing him to explore these things.
What did you do before your boy was born? You both need to set aside some ADULT time with yourselves. Not just the sex, but that is a BIG priority for most men.
I've been married 19 years, my wife and I had this conversation about 4 years ago. We came to realize that our worlds had drifted apart. She was doing her things, I was doing mine. We have a beautiful home in Cincinnati, the same home that would cost at least $1 million on the west cost. We decided that we didn't want to divorce because of our life styles: house, toys, cars, lake property, etc. We go our own ways, still sleep together, occasionally including sex, but mostly I'm getting the sex from other married women.
I'm not saying start sleeping with others, just figure out why you married him in the first place and try to get back to that point in time. If he doesn't want it to happen, dump him. Show your attorney the stuff you found and you should come out better with the divorce.
2006-09-12 19:43:49 · answer #2 · answered by twatlicker1962 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going thru the same thing except the end part (getting caught) He denied it for so long until I had so much evidence that he had no choice other than to confess. Now I am dealing with trusting him again. It' takes a lot of love and patience. I've been married for 5 years and I refused to throw away what we have over some *ss. Or chick. But I will kick him out for betrayal..disrespect and not being trustworthy. Sit down over a really nice meal and talk about it. Tell him your concerns and see what the outcome is. If that don't work. Go off your intuition, pay attention and God will show you the truth, right now he may be preparing you so that you will be able to handle the situation.
2006-09-12 18:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you need to hire a private detective. From your husband's behavior, I'm willing to bet that even if he's not having a sexual affair, that its not just an innocent friendship either.
I'm sorry to say but it takes two people to work out a relationship, and its not going to work if your husband is not willing to cooperate. Tell him that the way he is acting hurts you and hurts your relationship. If he loves you he will change. If not, then at least you know whats more important to him.
2006-09-12 19:08:33 · answer #4 · answered by Easygreasy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have the money, hire the detective. Save years of sorrow and heartbreak and get the information now, if you are thinking of divorce. For him to hide his wallet and keys? He must have something in his car he doesn't want you to see either.
2006-09-12 18:45:34 · answer #5 · answered by watergirl54 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has done the same thing to me. We have three children and it seemed as though every time I turned my back he did it again. we were together for 12 years and I believed him, his lies, I took him back over and over again, every time he said he would change. Did he? No. I am much happier now without him. Was it easy? No. Did I miss him? Hell yes. Would I go back? NO! You do what you feel is best, you are your own best judge and worst enemy. when you've had enough, you've had enough. that is the only way you will know. I hope you will have the strength soon to know what to do.
2006-09-12 19:03:27 · answer #6 · answered by Kaufi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Judging by his behavior, that tells me there is more going on than what he says. I try more about talking to him, call out his behavior, before hiring a private detective and if you don't get anywhere, go with that. No one deserves to be cheated on, and your son doesn't need a role model like that.
2006-09-12 18:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by Tommysgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your good at computers, go on Ebay and get a GPS tracking key and attach that to his car, it will show you where he drives to everyday and you will be able to see if he is making some unexpected 'pitstops'. But he is probably seeing that girl, you should probably start seeing other people also.
2006-09-12 19:26:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is definitely cheating and being disrespectful. you have the proof but you obviously love him so you are not going to leave him until you actually catch them together so you need to hire a private investigator, divorce him and raise your child in a loving home. good luck.
2006-09-12 19:07:26 · answer #9 · answered by burn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with him?! He's obviously unfaithful...don't you deserve more than that?? Gain some self-respect, you may love him, but he obviously didn't give a crap about you while he is doing all of this. Hate to be harsh, but wisen up.
2006-09-12 19:30:47 · answer #10 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋