I am having a hard time and just went through a divorce. I went over to my friends house and her dad was visiting and her and I were drinking in the hot tub and her dad kept making us more and more drinks. I made a comment that mine were much stronger than hers. The phone rang and my friend went inside and her dad and i talked some (friendly, nothing more or so I thought) and then before I knew it he was in the hottub and was on top of me. I only remember parts of it. Now I am disgusted with myself and my friend thinks it's no big deal. She even asked me if I would still hang out with her!!! What should I do?
2006-09-12 11:32:03 · 23 answers · asked by Nikki S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i think these date rape cases are one of the hardest to prove. Since you were intoxicated, you probably don't know exactly what happeend, or cannot recollect just how he forced himself on you, which is tough. Did you scream? did anyone hear you? because it is your word against his. And he'll probably claim it was mutual. It's a tough situation, but if you think you have a case, then call the cops. If not, try to get some counseling, if you feel you need it.
2006-09-12 11:37:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me make some observations... honestly.
#1 you seem more concerned withthe fact that he is 60 then the fact that he forced himself on you.
#2 you kept drinking the drinks, you could have said no thank you.
#3 If you had so much to drink is it possible he asked and you said yes? And just don't remember. You admit you only remember part of it.
#4 Your friend doesn't seem to think it was rape, are you sure it was?
#5 If it was rape then why haven't you called the police, instead of asking us. You are obviously old enough to know to call 911 if you were married.
I think there is more to this than you are willing to admit. I think you alowed it to happen and afterwards felt cheapened and disgusted by the fact that you allowed a man that age to have you. So what is the real truth here?
You already know whether it was rape or not... why are you asking us?
be honest...if not with us...with yourself.
If it wasn't rape...stop drinking
If it was rape... Call 911
2006-09-12 12:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be a strong individual and don't use an excuse that someone else made your drinks and pushed himself on you, You could have yelled if you wanted, you could have gotten out of the tub, you could have not drank as much. Be responsible for yourself. I'm not saying the old fart was right no..not at all... But just because you're going through a hard time doesn't mean you can let people walk all over you....stand up for yourself...and always stay in control.
2006-09-12 11:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by FunnyForker 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You rememeber parts? You're gonna make yourself look like a total @$$ to the police if you report that an old man fed you drinks and kissed you and such. Puh-leeze. You're 30 years old, how old do you have to be to finally take responsibility? Did anyone put a gun to your head and FORCE you to drink or really FORCE themselves on you? Did you say NO? He probably thought you liked it. You should confront him and set the record straight and tell him how you feel. He'll probably appologise with much haste, and feel pretty bad too.
You should thank God above you weren't in the presence of a real rapist.
2006-09-12 11:38:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one knows what it feels like to feel vulnerable unless they have been through what you have been through and that is to feel like you were not in control of what happened. It is hard for anyone to make judgment unless they can put themselves in your shoes. I have to agree with some of the comments and say you do need to see someone to talk to them about what happened and I don't believe you need to hang out with this friend anymore. She should of had more sympathy if she thought it was really forced. You need to talk to someone about what happened, yes that means the cops and second I would get some counseling. If for any other means for peace of mind. Honey, I wish you all the luck, it takes a strong woman to go through something like that. Be strong and don't take no garbage from no one, you are not at fault.
2006-09-12 12:11:34 · answer #5 · answered by Redneck Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, your friend's dad is a total a**h*le.
I am not sure if this can be called a rape because you were drunk and its quite possible that you may not have resisted much (deliberately or undeliberately).
And as far s your friend is concerned.... she/he is an ignorant person. Get rid of both of them and quit feeling low...there isn't much you could have done about it. Just be careful with your drinking. Try giving it up! Good Luck!
2006-09-12 11:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by skepty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you know what happened as we were not there... this is totally your call. I totally agree with cutting off the friendship and staying away from these people and call a rape hotline and get some one to talk to about this that is not an aquantance.
2006-09-12 12:42:54 · answer #7 · answered by smilingmick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asalam 'alaykum alhamdulillah, thankyou very, very lots for posting this, i replaced into actual thinking of doing some thing comparable, with the aid of fact even nonetheless im a female, and not married, lots of those may be utilized for the husband, or shown to help him comprehend the spouse extra appropriate. Its so stable to work out that open perspectives nevertheless exist... or maybe nonetheless i'm fantastically specific some are conscious of those, they want that reminder each so frequently. fairly ones like #25, and its a reminder for the wifeys too, to no longer circulate over-board with it. I fairly like the style you have pronounced many Sunnah in there, particularly the Prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him, replaced into the perfect of all husbands and replaced into the perfect to his different halves, so as a result the perfect occasion for adult men and ladies alike to persist with. It rather lightens my heart and makes me smile lots to study this, a number of those are to dream for...mashallah, and im specific lots of those the husband could savor too... so its very reciprocal. staggering stuff!!! as quickly as lower back, thank you bro, might Allah bless your soul, TC Tinkies
2016-11-07 04:57:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you feel that if you bring it up or say something that you will be betraying your friend...but you need to do something. I think its best to cut all ties with the friend and her father. Having her around might remind you of what happened...just remember dont feel guilty and its not your fault. You are a grown woman and you should know what to do to make you happy.
2006-09-12 11:42:21 · answer #9 · answered by Angelwings87 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is wrong for what he did. It is definitely a form of rape because you were not coherent enough to say yes or no. I think you should call a rape hotline or something like that & talk it out with them.
2006-09-12 11:37:07 · answer #10 · answered by Steph 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋