How can people tell that you're gay?

Question

Hi all,

Here's my little problem. I don't look gay, I don't dress gay, and I don't talk gay. It's not very obvious to other people that I'm gay.

A friend of mine pointed out that it's going to be difficult to meet somebody this way. He's just not going to recognise that I'm gay.

What can I do to make other gay people know?

I don't want to make it all too obvious though. I have to wear a uniform to work, and it's a pretty conservative environment.

Thanks!

Answer 1

Sweetheart when a gay man looks at you he WILL know if you are gay don't kid yourself. We don't call it Gaydar for nothing. You just need to stop being so shy about who you are and be perpared to make the first move instead of waiting for him to approach you. It might also help if you socialise in gay places once in a blue moon and let your hair down. ;-)

Answer 2

Well I guess you gonna have to get yourself some other clothes for your leisure time. I wouldn't try to out yourself in any way at work. Just do it in your time off. Just be very choosy about what you wear, make sure that your pants show off your butt. Wear colors that suit you. Get your nails manicured, go to a gay barber shop and get a decent hair cut. Look at your shoes. Are they huge and heavy? Buy something neater.
Wear coordinated clothes, i.e. colors that go well together. Buy underwear that shows off your package.
Hang out in gay bars and listen to how they talk.
Take an interest in Judy Garland and work up to Cher (ha ha)
Take an interest in art and design
Learn a little about classical music.
Go and watch plays.
You'll get there eventually.
Final tip: rent "Angels over America" and watch it twice right through (you'll need to rent it twice).

Answer 3

Most gay guys can tell. You don't have to dress or act the part. It's the subtle way you do things that let other gay guys know. Things you probably don't realize you do. The way you walk, hand gestures, body language, etc.

Answer 4

well, not all of us fit the stereotypes. but most of us do have "gaydar." I think most of us are very intuitive, and even if you don't realize, others know.
or just use some of the subtle suggestions others above have mentioned. have you ever gone to some of the personals pages and posted a profile or done a myspace page or some other networking site like that?
you don't have to wear a blinking neon sign on your head for others to figure it out!

Answer 5

Perhaps you should think about keeping things where you want them in your life. Being "out" isn't a bad thing but there are issues, I was nominated to be on the Civil Rights Committee where I used to work, not because I was interested in justice for everyone, but simply because I was "gay" and that was this person's idea of being Diverse, picking a gay guy, a black woman, a latino guy and a Vietnamese woman. I turned it down. pick me because I care or will do a good job, not because of who I sleep with.

Something subtle...perhaps "Freedom rings" necklace worn under the shirt...rainbow flag bumper sticker, humming "It's raining men" wherever you go..(lol sorry couldn't resist that one).
Perhaps going out to a bar is all you need to do, after all, how many straight men go to gay bars/events?

Answer 6

I was told that same thing. If you hang out where other gays are, they are going to take for granted that you are also gay. All you can do is make eye contact and hope for the best.

Answer 7

yeah listen to your gayday lol and people who tell you it exists ---

Three str8 actin blokes ive been right with lol ! i knew they were gay one was their voice one was the fact he was 16 and moisturised and the other was that he was the only guy in his year at school in the drama club !

anyway i would know ur gay trust me lol - i think a lot of gay people would be able to tell - i was at a pub when i wasnt out and i was wearing heavy goth stuff and now were black fashion or slightly rocky - toned down and these gays were just like dont you like kylie or britney and stuff and i was like noooooo ! the pure pop of it ---- NOW ! i love my cheese when i go out i just wanna shake my five stone lighter (150 pound ) *** around to britneys megamix or my prerogatvie lol !!!! lmao !!! they were tright and kylies your disco needs u - which comes to my new question why do gays love cheese 80s and pop pop pop lol ! go to a gaybar they will tear u apart cos ull be fresh meat i love the straight acting thing im atrracted to MEN NOT GURLS LOL xxx

Answer 8

Well most employers dont really encourage dating of straight or gay variety among employees anyway. I wouldnt encourage you to come out at work.

However, I do encourage you to come out to friends and family, if you have not already. Go to gay bars, go to bookstores and hang out in the gay literature sections.

Answer 9

I have this problem too. I wear a labrys necklace since it's a lesbian symbol that's more discrete than a rainbow t-shirt or those linked female signs. Try wearing a lambda symbol or something else that someone in the community would recognize, but the people at work probably won't.

Answer 10

It's called "gaydar." Try going to a gay bar dressed the way you normally do, and I guarantee other guys will notice you.
Good luck!