I have this Best Friend and ever since she got a boyfriend, she's been ditching me for him even if i ask to do something with her first. It makes me mad and upset. Shouldn't she be hanging out with me just as much if I'm her Best Friend. And to put the cherry on top, she hates my mom because my mom "screamed"(in her words) at her. We're in a fight now and i still want to be her friend even though I hate her for talking smack about my mom! We've been in a billion fights before and they've all passed over, but i don't think this one will. I've tried everything to be her friend again and it's not working. What should I do?
2006-09-12 10:38:12 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I have this Best Friend and ever since she got a boyfriend, she's been ditching me for him even if i ask to do something with her first. It makes me mad and upset. Shouldn't she be hanging out with me just as much if I'm her Best Friend. And to put the cherry on top, she hates my mom because my mom "screamed"(in her words) at her. We're in a fight now and i still want to be her friend even though I hate her for talking smack about my mom! We've been in a billion fights before and they've all passed over, but i don't think this one will. I've tried everything to be her friend again and it's not working. What should I do?
She's already broken up with her boyfriend before on my birthday (what a coincidence) and we were in a fight, and she came crawling back to me and my friend and then ditched us when she hooked up with her boyfriend again. And it's I who hooked them up and settled all their problems, it's like i need some respect?
2006-09-12 12:37:02 · update #1
Well, I'm not jealus(just so u all know). i'm over that now. the reason i was jealus in the first when she first got her boyfriend was because we were inseperatable! And the reason why i'm mad that she wouldn't spend time with me was becasue, she spent the whole summer with only her boyfriend and at the end of the summer when we became friends again she said she would that we would spend a lot more time together and she lied to me, we didn't spend any time with me, and when i brought her to the water park with me she spent time with her boyfirend and my mom even set down the rules and my friedn agreed to them, so that's why my mom yelled at her and my mom was under a lot of stress b/c my dad wasn't feeling good and if my dad does too much than he can DIE! so I'm not jealus that she has a boyfriend and she's not spending time with me and not mad b/c i'm jealus! i no waht jealusy is i'm not stupid ok earthmothermoon and everyone else who thinks i'm jealus.
2006-09-13 08:54:14 · update #2
she also has never called and canceled if i asked her to do something with me. She's "forgotten" about it.
2006-09-13 08:56:14 · update #3
friends are a dime a dozen, familys forever
2006-09-12 10:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by Bob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This type of thing happens all the time when either a male or female finds a mate. She is all taken in by the new relationship and that's understandable. For the problem with your mother, I think her feelings might be just a little hurt because of the altercation. I would definitely call her up ask her to lunch, possibly include your mother. You should be able to iron things out this way, all three of you put your feelings on the table friendships are valuble, they just go off track sometimes because of other considerstions. You have alot of love in you, I wish you all the best.
2006-09-12 10:45:16 · answer #2 · answered by june clever 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friends and I don't fight over that kind of thing. If I plan something with my girls, and they call and cancel because they want to spend that time their men...ok. They're the same with me. My friends understand I got a good man and I love spending time with him, and I'm understand they would too. When you have that with someone, you'll see what she's feeling. It's not about choosing one over the other. She's not trying to do that. But each time you get mad at her, that's what you're making her do. The issue with her and your mother-talk to her about it when you're both calm. A best friend is a best friend for a reason. Don't lose that because you're not getting your quality time. Talk to her, let her enjoy her man and be alittle more understanding. You'd want her to do the same for you. I've had my best friend for 18 years now and we never fought because of that. Good Luck.
2006-09-12 10:51:17 · answer #3 · answered by dct1218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends are supposed to enrich your life and comfort you in times of grief. Sure, you'll hit some rough patches on the way, but if your friendship IS the SOURCE of your grief, than maybe you've grown apart and need to step back. You might need to hang out with other friends who still have a lot in common with you, just as she may have the need to spent every breathing moment with her boyfriend. Just step back calmly and don't burn any bridges, because you never now, a friendship that isn't working today doesn't necessarily mean that it won't work tomorrow.
2006-09-12 10:45:35 · answer #4 · answered by cleo715 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, Pump yah breaks... Your carrying on is making me tired.. People grow up and grow away from each other, but that doesn't mean that she still won't be your friend.. Give her some space allow her to figure out the things that she wants to do in life. And you should be doing the same. It seems like your trying to make her be around you... And second, you can't give her what her boyfriend is giving her that's why it's hardly any time for you... Don't make her pick, cause your sure to loose.. Give her some space. And if she's your friend she will come around.. If not then life will continue to move on........
2006-09-12 10:54:08 · answer #5 · answered by The'Truth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider this my love; Who's problem is it? Allot of times we are angry with people we love because they are making us unhappy. What are you doing to make her happy? First of all it is not your friends responsibility to make you happy. No one owes you anything but yourself. Not to mention if my best friend was always making me feel bad because I was happy I wouldn't hang around her anymore. It's time to grow up, be happy for your best friend (without guilt or jealousy) or you are going to loose her. By the way-did you know that jealousy (and that's what it is) is only your own insecurity. How does it really make you feel when she spends time with her boyfriend? Like your not good enough. Well you are and just because she has a life outside of you doesn't mean she is being hateful. This issue with her and your mom is between her and your mom. And, if your mom is making you feel bad about it-then guess what-that's where you get it from.
2006-09-12 10:49:45 · answer #6 · answered by earthmothermoon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find another friend to hang out with, and when this relationship is over, she will be calling you and crying to you about her problems and hurt feelings, then the ball is in your court to tell her to tell someone that cares that she didn't blow off, or be there for her and find the friendship you once had......... just know, the next time she gets a bf again, it will all happen again. That is the kind of friend she is. She is showing you that now and it won't change. blessed be
2006-09-12 10:42:14 · answer #7 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start hanging out with other people, she'll see that you can ignore her too, and probably try to get your attention again. If she doesn't then I guess maybe she has moved on... anyways, her boyfriend wont be around forever, and if she gets another one and acts the same way- I wouldnt want to be her best friend. Just wait for a while before calling off the friend ship though.
2006-09-12 10:45:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ill be your friend. I was in the same situation but it went out of control... I moved out of california to go live with her and she started to ditch me, I would be left alone at her house all the time, in a state ive never been in, while she went out with her bf.. I got depressed (it was a very small town) and started to cut myslef, I had no one not even family out ther and I felt like she totally forgot about me. I moved back home and now we talk on occasion. I guess the point of me telling you is, its not worth it. I did stupid things because I wanted to stay her friend, when she wasnt doing anything to keep me as hers. Just drop her like a bad habit.
2006-09-12 10:56:11 · answer #9 · answered by Indiana Jonas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through something like this with my brother....he's two years older than me, and when we were younger, we used to ALWAYS play together....but when he turned around 14...and I was still 12, he started leaving me for his friends and girls...I used to get SO MAD....the best thing you can do is just be there for her and TRY to be happy for her and her boyfriend....you just have to apologize and be the bigger person....it'll take some time, but you'll just have to swallow your pride, say "I don't care" and apologize...then you guys can be friends again and you can start all over.
2006-09-12 10:42:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
boyfriends come and go....give her time to be with him, you seem jealous. boyfriends and best friends, though close, are still in a different category. there are certain things you can do for her that he can't and vice versa. remain her friend but from a slight distance, let her do her thing,,,,she will need her best friend again. however, sometimes people can outgrow each other. just roll with it and see how it pans out..... as for the mom thing, dont let anyone disrespect your moms.
2006-09-12 10:46:21 · answer #11 · answered by goldie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋