Your opinion....I want to be with my boyfriend and love him very much but we have had a lot of problems through our relationship (who hasn’t) but okay here is the story.. we met when I was 18 and he was 24 the first 2 yrs of our relationship he would go out leave me all the time and not answer my calls the first time we broke up I put up with not seeing or talking to him for 2 weeks and I was living with him-because he wanted me to. I would go to work come home late and call him off the hook he never answered my calls and he would come home when he knew I was at work, I got sick of it and left out of state to be with my family and I was not going to go back but he begged me to I went to get my things but stayed because he promised me he wouldn’t do that to me, which he still did-my bad this time. Okay then after another year or so of putting up with his crap, he told me that he was going to make more of an effort to hang with me and my friends so we
2006-09-12 10:27:04 · 24 answers · asked by ~Ronyea Q♪ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
could be together more and one night when we were supposed to go to my friends he already got drunk at his friends and come home telling me how stupid my friends were and he wasn’t going then he told me I could go out but I had to be home by 2am Well 2 came then 3 then he called me and started yelling at me telling me to get home or else it was over. Well of course I said signora sucker! So I moved out and about a week prior to that I went to the bar with my aunt and met this guy who I didn’t do anything with he was cute and we danced and talked a bit. So right after I broke up with my bf I called this other guy and we dated for 5 months and then he moved away… when that happened I started missing my bf and called him he immediately came back and we started seeing each other after being broke up for 6 months. He moved into my apartment right away because he told me that he wouldn’t date me if we couldn’t live together I tried to avoid it
2006-09-12 10:27:26 · update #1
but he wasn’t having it and I loved him and wanted him back. So I let him move in with
me, since then we have been together and lately the past 2 years the more time that goes on I find him being more and more possessive of what I do who I hang out with. I have left him once for 2 days this was 2 weeks ago and wanted to go back and since then he is questioning how I feel about him he tells me that I just do what he says and I agree with him, because I always do what he wants me to instead of what I really want to. I told him that I was changing my schedule for work just for a day and he went off on me telling me that I am screwing up his work schedule, and now he says that he is not sure that he wants to be in the relationship, He tells me that I don’t have a backbone because at work when they ask me to change my schedule I do, I have been with my company for less than 2 years and I want them to say that I am a person who will do things for them
2006-09-12 10:27:48 · update #2
I think will open new opportunities for me. I guess that I am scared to leave him because of all the work we have done together as a couple and we just bought a new home which I love and I guess my whole question is would you think it is worth it for me to be in a relationship when I think in the back of my head that I really don’t want to be there. And I know that when/if I leave it will be really hard for me because I won’t have all the things that he gives me and am scared not to find what I am really looking for in a relationship.? What is a girl to do?
2006-09-12 10:28:14 · update #3
..sounds like u always think of others and not urself...
when was the last time u thought about urself?
U don't seem to have got over ur first relationship and headed straight into another one...
U need to take time out and build on ur self esteem and look at becoming assertive..
U seem to want love from these men but u don't seem to love urself enough...otherwise these men would be respecting u more.
Good luck...hope this helps.
2006-09-12 10:36:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you but this guy "owns" you. You let this guy do whatever he wants to you, you get mad, break up and then go running right back to him. He knows exactly what youll do. Both of you need to grow up and quit playing the kid games. Hes old enough to know how to treat a woman he supposedly loves in a relationship and this isnt how. You need to gain some more self confidence and believe in yourself and quit being so self reliant on this guy. You dont need this guy. This guy is an idiot and there are millions of them out there. Each time you leave him, its the right thing but then you go right back to him which is wrong. He has you right where HE wants you. You are better than this guy and deserve better. Let this guy go and be with his own kind. Its long past time for you to move on and there is someone better out here for you so dont believe that if you leave him youll never find another. This guys destroying you and your self esteem so bad youre afraid to leave and this is not love but control. No one should ever have this kind of control over another and thinks its real love. Move on now!
2006-09-12 11:01:42 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u two dont hav kids it should not be to hard to leave. i dont even know y u would buy a house with this guy. As a strong women u never let a guy walk all over u. He has been doin that for yrs to u frm what u say dont wait until u hav kids to leave cuz he will be stuck in ur life for ever and most likly u will never leave
if u leave before kids sooner or later some one else will come in ur life and u wont hav to deal wit that dirt bag. Trust me i hav a kid with a loony. I've left a few times but its hard when childern are involved. if i ever do leave him for good i will always hav him down my bac unless i pack up and move out of state on a hide away mission frm him. but how could i do that to my daught i hav to tell myself cause she thinks he is the greatest. if u dont think ur happy which is obvious LEAVE
2006-09-12 10:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Sooo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in your shoes, I would get out of this relationship. Your bf sounds like a control freak. He wants you to do everything he wants you to do and nothing that you would like to do. I have been in an abusive relationship before and this is how it starts. They try to break you down so, that after awhile you feel like you are unable to do anything correctly according to what he feels you need to do. You said yourself that you aren't happy. Why stay in a relationship where you aren't happy? Life is way to short for that. You need to find someone who will make you happy and the only way to do that is leave him and move on with your life. I know it will be hard but, you'll be glad you did. Good luck to you!
2006-09-12 10:45:28 · answer #4 · answered by cee cee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be rude at all, but he's really got you wiped. If you stay with him, than he's just gonna control you for the rest of your life. Maybe whay he loves about you is that you are like his slave, don't take that personal, and he enjoys having you around so he can boss you around. I f you have children by him than you really wil be stuck, my adivce would be to leave, and not let him no where you are, and don't call him up tell yourself that you can make it without him, and you don't need somebody like that, because the times that he wasn't there, sorry to say but he probably was cheating on you, and you don't need that. Take his advice and get a backbone, and leave him without him knowing than he can't sucker you into him. I know its easier said than done, but if you don't want to stay unhappy than you gotta do that.
2006-09-12 10:37:03 · answer #5 · answered by kadeah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, u need to work on yourself first before u get w/ ANYONE. and u know what... in a twisted way your boyfriend is correct: You Need to Grow a Backbone...but not from work... from your BOYFRIEND. u need to learn what is good for you. and until u work on yourself, ur confidence, ur happiness, ur abilities, ur capabilites... u will never truly feel 100% like a Real Woman. =T u will let someone walk all over you, u will let them treat you like crap.. is that what a Real Woman deserves? nope. so, first, take time out and focus on Yourself. then, u will be able to contribute a lot more to a relationship..and u have to be strong enough to have expectations from your guy. HE has to be able to contribute something healthy, positive, and Good to the relationship.
love is one thing. but u have to use that love to constantly grow, and learn, Together. if u don't do that, eventually the love becomes sour. even if u stay together, u WILL be unhappy. if that's what u want, fine. but if i were u, i'd think better of myself, and what i deserve.
2006-09-12 10:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question at the end of your message. You know in the back of your head that you would be better off without him. But you don't want to leave him because your afraid to give up the things that a second paycheck can buy. He is treating you badly, he is being possessive and controlling, and he is only thinking of himself. Find someone who can appreciate you.
2006-09-12 10:36:41 · answer #7 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun I think you have answered your own question he is a complete idiot please walk away now.....at no point do you actually seem to be doing something for YOU.........just imagine this type of life 10 15 20 years down the road, I feel that if its not got better much in the time you have given him it will NEVER
You are so much more worth this type of bs he is dishing out.
2006-09-12 10:31:18 · answer #8 · answered by candy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being 42+ yrs old with a GF 15 yrs younger that loves me and I love her I think you are foolish to stay with the Dumb AF. Get your stuff together and find someone that cares for you, not want to own you.
2006-09-12 10:42:32 · answer #9 · answered by samscj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your heart, learn to count on yourself, you can get your own"things", and be happy. If you need to sale the house and get out, there is nothing more valuable then one owns happiness. The relationship is going to get any better unless the both of you seek help. So deep down in your heart you know what you need to do. Just do it girlfriend. Take care, and be safe.
2006-09-12 10:34:25 · answer #10 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋