How do you deal with this situation? He's going to be at party thrown by mutual friends. Too small of a community to act as though you didn't hear about it. To look at him will make you sick. Not to go to party would dissappoint friends.
How do you handle this? Do you just keep talking without ever saying "What's new?" Yes, I'm aware of the innocent until proven guilty presumption. But come on!!
2006-09-12 10:24:02 · 5 answers · asked by curious 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Unfortunately, there is no perfect solution here, just a few ways to live with the situation. It's only one party, after all, and you can always leave once you've seen all the elephants.
There's a possibility he won't show up at the party, considering the chilly reception he's bound to receive from everyone in the know. Personally, I've been to parties of 20 people or less and found ways of not speaking to half of them. I'd suggest choking out a perfunctory 'how's it going?' greeting and a half-hearted handshake, then move on and away from him. He'll probably know that you know, so he might not feel all that talkative either.
You need to ask yourself if the man's presence at this party overrides your sense of obligation to your friends. If you thoroughly disagree with this man's alleged actions and don't want to be in the same room with him for moral reasons, don't go to the party at all. You can tell your friends why you didn't show up later. If you decide to go to the party, then try not to steer your conversations towards his alleged behavior. It's a party, remember?
Personally, I'd stay home from that particular party if his presence were an absolute guarantee. You could make alternative plans with your friends to make up for your absence. No party is worth going through all of those feelings of disgust and anger you must be feeling right now.
2006-09-12 10:40:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one thing I myself doubt he'll be at the party. I mean honestly, would you go to a party if the latest news is that you raped a 13 year old? Don't panic, and if he is there just act calm and try to avoid him. I'm assuming he's not a good friend so it shouldn't be that hard to stay away from him or just have a few moments polite "nice weather we're having" conversation.
2006-09-12 17:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by horselover1416 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that a 58 year old man having sex with a 13 year old qualifies as "actually" raping her, Paladin.
Statutory my AS$!
Just avoid him at the party and for the love of Pete, keep your kids away from him.
2006-09-12 17:32:21 · answer #3 · answered by DontPanic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did he actually rape her or was it consensual? The first is an abomination and the second is merely a statutorily created crime.
Sorry folks, but rape means one thing and one thing only. I asked if the girl was actually raped and that is a very valid question. Consensual sex is not rape, period, regardless of "what you would say". The age taboo is strictly societal. One might argue in terms of molestation, but not rape.
Statutory rape is merely the Government's effort to re-define rape to include whatever it wants to include. But there is common-law rape and there is statutory rape. I merely asked which one it was.
2006-09-12 17:28:36 · answer #4 · answered by Paladin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure there will be tension, not just from you but everyone there.
2006-09-12 18:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by ta m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋