Would you be offended if someone said this to you?

Question

I have a prayer support group set up through my church, the purpose of this is to help me through depression, help me to grow in my relationship with the Lord and to be a "family" in the love and emotional support sense as I am an orphan. I have decided to go back to college to gain more skills to get a better job and know I will have to get a job to support myself financially and have applied for loads but the head of my support group has just said that she thinks I am expecting them to support me financially! I am not and I never have! I got extremely upset by this and hung up on her. Would you be offended if someone said this to you?

Please don't make nasty comments about my faith. If you don't agree with it then please don't bother to leave an answer because it will be of no help to me.

God bless.

Answer 1

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!! THE DEVIL IS BUSY!! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WHAT GOALS YOU HAVE SET FOR YOURSELF!! SHE MAY HAVE SAID THAT TO SEE HOW YOU WOULD REACT!! DON'T LET HER GET TO YOU!! IF THEY'RE GONNA HELP, THEN FINE AND IF THEY DON'T JUST KNOW THAT GOD WILL MAKE A WAY!! BESIDES, YOU CAN APPLY FOR FINANCIAL AID WITH THE SCHOOL YOU DECIDE TO ATTEND!!

Answer 2

Hi,
Deppresion is a very difficult illness to deal with both for the sufferer and those supporting them. I have found, most people who have not suffered with it, or had a close family member who has suffered, find it very hard to understand. Support groups are a good way to help you if they have a good understanding of this awful illness. If they havn't they may be struggling to fully appreciate you difficulties. This may explain the group leaders unhelpful comments.
You sound like a very brave person and you are doing all the right things to help yourself. It can be a long and lonely road to regain the joy of life and only you can do it. Please be assured it will come. Be patient and congratulate yourself on every small achievement you make each day.
You have not mentioned any help you may be getting from your doctor. If you haven't already spoken to him or her, you may find it very useful as they see this illness all to frequently and can advise you on the best treatment for you.

Take no notice of the glib remarks some people have made to your question. They are either frightened, ignorant or at worst bullies, either way you are strong enough to forgive them.

Finally, I don't hold any particular views on religious faiths but I do know of a yoga book about the science of breathing and posture. This may sound strange but you may find unexpected benefit from it. It is not written in any way to try and convert you from your beliefs. It is just very simply written and full of good sense. It is "Hatha Yoga The Science of Breath and Posture" by Yogi Ramacharaka. ISBN 1 84013 863 7. I would recommend it even if it only takes your mind from some of the disturbing and unhelpful thoughts.

I really wish you all the very best in your life and hope this has been of help to you.

Regards
A Fellow Traveller

Answer 3

No I would not have been offended, or at least given her the satisfaction of thinking she offended me. You have a support group and that is what they are there for. Whether it is to support you emotionally or financially it does not matter. With a response you have been given, I would call her back and say " I apologise for my reaction with your comment, but after thinking about it...Yes i am expecting some support financially so not to bare the whole weight on my shoulders. If you cannot help me, lead me in the direction of where help is available" To add to this, with her comment I feel she could be very much jealous of the fact that you are moving on and not afraid to ask for support. good for you and shame on her

Answer 4

Well, it sounds like you have one extremely unchristian person there. It sounds to me like they are giving out jealous vibes there that you are actually trying to better yourself. Perhaps they have never had the courage to try and better their own education. Do not let this person or group undermine your confidence in this way. This person has the problem, not you. Although I am a spiritual person, I don't follow any of the main religious teachings.
You know what you are aiming for, and are taking the right steps. Stick with your plans, you can be sure that spirit is watching over you and will be there when you need them. With or without this persons opinions.

Blessed be

Taliesin

Answer 5

id be extremely offended, after all you're doing everything possible to forge your own way in life and for someone to belittle your effort is unforgivable (well maybe not unforgivable but certainly offensive).

my boyfriend made a joke a couple of times about me having dinner with him an his mum every night (at her invite i have to say), i felt like such a spounger that i stopped having dinner there so often even though after dinner i always ran him to work.

sometimes people make flippant comments and have no idea just how much they will affect another person..

why not call her back and be mature, explaining how offended you were and tell her your plan on how your going to support yourself, theres no point falling out long term.

Answer 6

At first i would have been upset but go away and think about what they said and why they said it. Most people say things to try to upset you, don't let them do it. That doesn't sound like a very religious person to me. Get out of that prayer group. I'm sorry to hear that you're an orphan.Maybe you need to feel wanted, but there are too many devious,lying,backstabers out there. Find another family.

Answer 7

That is the problem when people 'assume' things they make and @$$ out of U and themselves. Bring it to the next support group. Lay it on the table before the session starts. Just say something like:

"Our team leader brought it to my attention that each of you feel that I am expecting you to financially support my college debt. I would like to express my appologies if I have conveyed this to you."

You will not only clear the air, but perhaps none of them felt that way, and you can teach your team lead how not to assume anything about you or other people's views.

Answer 8

Don't be offended by what this lady has said,she may have picked you up the wrong way or you her.you are at a time in your life when you are starting down a new path,keep your focus on your goals and don't let minor details slow you down,with time you will prove not only to yourself but to your peers that you can do this.

Answer 9

Yes I would be upset too. But being in a family often has controversies. My advice would be to call her and apologize for hanging up on her and tell her she hurt your feelings. Whatever, she says is her problem. Forgive her and go on with your life. Holding in anger is not good for depression. I heard once that depression is anger turned inward. You my dear are ambitious, smart, and will succeed if you want it. Have a wonderful time at school. I hope all works out for you.

Answer 10

i would be a little upset but the head of the support group should know better. Knowing your back ground she should be supporting you on trying to better yourself and you are trying to get an education to help you with this

Answer 11

You have done so much good for your self , if you really don't need their financial support make it clear you do not, if you like the prayer support group continue going. be your own person.