Why do we feel we must be what others label us even if their wrong ?

Question

I've asked this question before (search why do we live up to the labels people give us even if their wrong)
22 answers and every one assumed the label was bad ?
What if the label said ;
unbreakable , emotionally , physically , mentally , unbreakable .

Answer 1

So you are asking about living up to someone else's idea of you. I think that many people might be on either side of that question. Some people would tend to rebel against any label, good or bad, while others might feel it was their "duty" to live up to a certain standard if it was a standard that person could accept as being "good". I think that there is another possibility as well, that some people might- knowing that others thought bad things about them- act badly to prove them right.
But I really think that the smartest people set their own standards and check those standards only with people they know and trust.

Answer 2

I think that any label can be bad. If people thought that I was so strong that I was always able to get through any situation emotionally, physically, mentally, without trouble, that would be a lot to live up to. It might make me feel like I have to keep my true emotions in check and could lead to stress that could trigger a heart attack, or an emotional breakdown.

I don't feel anyone 'has' to live up to labels that others give them. I know that it is hard for people to sometimes get past those labels, especially children who have been labeled 'stupid' or 'difficult' by teachers or parents. But I think anyone is capable of shrugging off labels.

Answer 3

OK, but are the labels you suggested necessarily good? I mean - if I feel I have to live up to an unbreakable label, does it mean that I'm never allowed to falter? That seems amazingly stressful and harmful.

My family culture says - we aren't or shouldn't be emotional (are unbreakable emotionally?). While I've tried to break this down a number of times, I still find it difficult to publically express emotions because I don't feel like I'm supposed to. I'm letting that label define me / my actions. And I think that may not be a good thing.

However, to your original question - when you say "we must be" - do you mean that it must be true or that we must act to live up to the labels? If it's that it must be true - as I first read it - I don't think I feel that I must be what others see me as when it's "too positive." I sometimes think - they're wrong. I still try to live up to it / maybe to make them proud, but I often think they have rose colored glasses and see me as better than I am.

Answer 4

I feel it's because labels are, like any other word, inherently powerful. They're the way we interpret the world, we see things that are alike and we group them with a label. This has the knock-on effect that any label applied to us is something we pay close attention to.

The social influence points are also pretty convincing. Looking at the recent use of labels in the media - especially references to the various 'cultures' that have popped up lately, it seems to me that majority social influence has a big part to play.

Answer 5

not every one feels the need to live up to a label - those that do may possibly have a need to be loved and recognized - this may be a behaviour that they have learned and they bend to please others - this is not always a bad thing and if you are in control and are aware of your behaviour, it can be a very loving thing. To not accept labels takes strength and courage and to face the possibility that one may not be loved or liked for what they do or in some cases - to be admired. This is a personal choice.

Answer 6

For observers, we are who we represent ourselves to be. No one can know the hidden you. So if you have certain labels, either negative or positive, these are the faces you are presenting to the world at large. Do not be so certain that people are wrong. You may not think the label fits, but observe and record your interactions with people to know the truth about yourself. It is amazing how often our actions our interpreted in a manner we never expected. Ask people why they perceive you in a certain way. You can learn valuable lessons about yourself and your label.s

Answer 7

The reason is very unflattering to human beings I'm afraid and shows just how shallow some of us are.

It is down to one thing and one thing only... the feeling of being accepted by a majority or a sect/group of society.

Answer 8

It is because our sense of belonging is strongest when reinforced by a negitve response.We want to solve the problem of why we are not accepted more than we want to accept those
who positively reinforce our sense of worth

Answer 9

Social learning theory is a good place to start to understand that question.

Answer 10

it's up to the individuals strength and self perception/self image whether or not "they feel they have to live up to that label", good bad or otherwise.