Am i wrong for wanting my 23 year old stepson out of my house??????

Question

He does not work 50% or more of the time: help with household duties: does not pay one cent toward anything not even his own car ins.: does help or even keep his dad company when his father works on his car: lays in the bed til 1 or 2 pm when he is unemployed: his father is 61 works 12 hr days in the hot Texas sun!!! Then asks us "you just want me out, You do not care about My welfare?" what about the welfare of his father?? Did HE think about his dad's welfare when HE & his friends were smoking pot in the house??? Or when he stole a $1500.00 TV and brought it to the house!!?? Eventually the det showed up to get the TV??!! Whines like a 12 yr old saying that ME and my husband have no say so in decisions concerning him, only my husband does.(and his mother--who by the way don't want to be bothered by taking him into her home)

his mother can easily take him in, she told my husband "you are gonna put him in the streets?" I say NO-HE HAS A MOTHER--DAH!! When I talk to my husband-he is evasive...he will not even ask the son how much longer does he need. he has let me down on two move-out dates. I have let him know that I have reached my limit and Soon I will take charge of the situation, in 30 days or so put his son's stuff out and change locks myself...am I wrong for that? my husband will also change the subject to compare my 16 yr old and why he is not out...There is no comparison, my son is not a grown man!!!!

Answer 1

I only had to read the first sentence.. Sounds like its time for this boy to fly the coop and learn to live on his own!!

Answer 2

kick him out, he seems to be taking as much as he can from you, and not appreciating all that you are giving him. Once he moves out, he'll get a glace at the real world. Try helping him find a job, ask him to pay rent, I paid $200 a month when I was at home with my parents and not in school. Be strong, and be a supportive yet enforcing parent. Make sure there is a consensus between both you and your husband, don't make it like you are attacking or ganging up on him, but have a civilized conversation between the three of you, and discuss how everyone all feels about the situation, and what you can do in the future that will benefit everyone

Answer 3

You need to get on your computer right now and make a chore list.
Then you need to draw up a contract.
In the contract you need to tell him that either he can abide by your rules in your house or he can start giving you 350.00 a month rent and pay his own car insurance.
Offer to pay his insurance and forgo the rent if he will complete the list of chores that you've made up everyday.
The only excuse he has for not doing them since he dosent work is a fever of 101 or greater.
If he cant abide by the contract then he will have to find another place to live and get a job to pay his car insurance.

My kids are 15 and 11 and have chores that they have to do everyday and one plays volleyball and the other plays football and they have practice 3-4 times a week including games and still manage to get their chores done while excelling in school and in their extracurricular activities.

So if they can do that he can get off his sorry *** and do something.

Answer 4

I would tell him it is time to move out on his own. He may find it hard at first but will have to get a full time job to keep up with being an adult. It is called tough love. Tell him that if the two of you didn't really care about him he would of been gone along time ago. But he needs to take responsibility of his actions and he is showing none at home. And since he doesn't want to help he needs to go. Time to end the using of the parents. You are not teaching him anything by allowing this behavior.Fair is fair. Good luck to you and your husband.

Answer 5

I would kick him out in a heartbeat. You might think that it is wrong but the truth is he will be there until 50yrs old or until you or his father die if you don't do it know. I think that 23yrs old is definitely too old to be at home he could at least show some responsibility by paying something in the house. He does not have any respect for your guys or even himself. He should have to learn the hard way. How does his dad feel about this if it is the same then out he goes.

Answer 6

Okay. You and your husband need to set ground rules and stick to them. 1. You have a job by Friday or I will take you and get you one at MC Donald's or some where. 2. You will give your mother 50.00 a week for groceries and utilities. 3. Your car insurance is this much you will give your mother this much each week or we will park the car. If you don't like this we will sale the ca.4. The grass cutting is yours it must be done every week before any of your friends is allowed in my house. 5. If you don't like these rules I suggest you find another place to live. 6.Purchase a tent a small one. If he misses his chores above take the keys to his car. Make him stay in the tent until the rent is paid. Take a bath under the water hose.Be firm and don't give in. If he don't learn now he will be a bum.

Answer 7

Remind him that he is now over 18 and technically you are no longer responsible for him Besides you willb e doing the right thing by telling him to get out because its time for this boy to learn some sort of responsibility. If he's not in school at that age, the least he should be doing is working and contributing some how. Instead of being a burden on him. Just remember to never throw his mother in his face but tell him. Look, you are 23 now and its time for you to grow up... You have 1 month, find a job and start contributing and become more responsible or get out. your husband should be 100% behind you on this and he needs to stop making excuses for his son or working himself for someone who doens't give a **** even if it is his son. You've taught him repsonsibility as a child i am sure so now it is time for him to take it on the road...

Let me catch my step daughter spoking pot in my house and bringing in stolen goods.... I swear

Answer 8

If he has a job and respects you and his dad it shouldn't be a problem, but he sounds like a loser that needs to be cut loose. His father needs to be the one to put his foot down though. I'm not saying you don't have an opinion in the matter because you do, all i'm saying is that there could be really bad problems between you and him if you try to kick him out yourself. You should talk to his father and make him understand that he needs to cut his son loose and show him some responsibility.

Answer 9

You are not wrong! I mean, shoot, I am twenty four and was doing chores until I got hired last week. Your stepson has to pull his own weight- bottom line. I am not a parent, but I got a little lazy this summer and I agreed with my father about being encouraged and looking for more work. I was depressed, so I woke early(7a.m.) to look for work and was disappointed. I don't know what your stepson's case is, but whatever it is, he needs to get his butt in gear. He is playing the blame game so the fire won't burn his behind, if it weren't for you and your husband, he would be on skid row. You are not wrong.

Answer 10

Get a back bone girl. Tell him in no uncertain terms he has exactly 2 weeks to find some where else to live. He is an adult hon. Send him packing. If he does not abide by your 2 wk limit. Pack his crap and put it on the curb and change your locks. It's for his own good. Time for the boy to be a man!!! Be strong

Answer 11

Put his butt in the wind. Take him out back and break a dinner plate on the ground. Ask him if he knows what that means. When he says no tell him it means "You don't eat here any more!". Being a male he will have to provide for a family soon anyway. When he becomes a man he will thank you. Both my sons did.