I'm an artist, I'm into alternative lifestyles, I'm basically different than most of my peers that are in the 18-20 age group, but in a way, I'm a normal person seeing as there's others who share my lifestyle, but howcome it's so hard for me to find friends?
So far, I haven't been able to "keep" anyone (as friends) who share my interests. I pass them by every single day or everytime I go out to maybe metal shows, or an art gallery, with their friends, hanging out, but what is it about me that isn't appealing to others? I'm not physically repelling, I know that. Is it because the lifestyle I've became accustomed to is formed around one ethnic background that isn't mine and I'm going to have to make the effort to prove myself to these people?
I guess this is turning into a rant, so I apologize. My problem is that, I know I'm a good person, and not to say this in an arrogant way, but I know I'm interesting and different. So why can't I find friends? where do I start?
2006-09-12 09:54:48 · 8 answers · asked by NereidoftheBlue 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
PS, I really would prefer if everyone would be open-minded and be unbiased with their comments. I would like to state that everyone is different, especially as human beings, alot of people think differently. So please, just be open-minded as much as possible. I know I practically live in the minority here in the US, and the majority may have some insensetive comments on my situation.
2006-09-12 09:57:42 · update #1
PPS, As for the person who asked if I usually tell someone how different I am, my answer is no. This is actually the first time I've stated that fact, and I really wanted to make it clear that it wasn't out of arrogance. I would love to explain my interests more, but I know people will judge and have negative comments, which, while may be insightful, isn't at all helpful.
As for conforming, I don't believe I have to conform just to be accepted. Why should I change myself to someone who I probably don't like just to keep a group of friends that only likes me for who I changed myself into? There's different types of changes, I know, but I'm aware of things that need changing in my life, and so far, none of those can drastically affect my possible friendships.
I just wanna thank everyone in advanced, so, thank you everyone.
2006-09-12 10:24:27 · update #2
PPS, Somebody asked "I don't understand. What is it about you that makes you so different that you think no one wants to stay friends?"
My response to this is that, you have to understand, I live in an area where the extroverts pretty much populate the area, where parties, the media, materialstic possessions, etc. are all treasured. You also have to understand that I'm 19 years old, and my peers have no interests in, let's say, classical music, or theology, or maybe philosophical conversations, just to name some of the more general differences. It's not that I'm a freak or anything, I just like the more uncommon things that apparently aren't in this area.
I see the more desirable friends (I'm not choosy, pardon my use of that word) in the urban or populated areas, like San Francisco, or Berkeley. I just don't know where to start without looking like a deserpate mess.
2006-09-12 10:35:46 · update #3
I just want to say that I have the same problem. I'm an outdoor nature lover kind of person. People don't like me. I haven't had a female friend since I was 13 ... 12 yrs ago! Girls always want to do boring crap like look at themselves in the mirror and look at guys and stuff. I spend large chunks of my free time hiking and walking my dog in the woods. I have no friends. I guess I'm different....
I don't think I really like people?
Be happy with who you are. This is what matters!!
2006-09-12 10:03:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you find anyone that attends the same events as you do?Are there clubs in your area catering to your lifestyle?Maybe you just don't make a good first impression.Could you be a little nervous when you're out with people the first time,and it might come off as being something else.
2006-09-12 17:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
To fit in with a most people you have to conform to their way. You're probably not conforming to their way of doing things. In other words with any group of friends there is always one that makes most of the decisions for the group and the others follow. You probably don't fit in because your not quick to follow. Just find one or two good friends and hang with them.
2006-09-12 17:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where do you live? Maybe you need to find a location that more people who live your 'lifestyle' reside. Are you in a metropolis area?
2006-09-12 17:01:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you usually go around telling people how "unique" you are? that might be turn off to a lot of people.
I don't think you need to prove anything to anyone, just be yourself, relax and remember you don't have anything to prove, just be cool. Don't try too hard to fit in.
2006-09-12 17:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't understand. What is it about you that makes you so different that you think no one wants to stay friends? I can't really give any advice to this. Sorry!
2006-09-12 17:07:58 · answer #6 · answered by jdecorse25 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I tend to avoid people, because people (in general, no one in particular) suck.
2006-09-12 17:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
where do you start? by showing an interest in other folks and participating in their activities
2006-09-12 17:00:23 · answer #8 · answered by waplambadoobatawhopbamboo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋