I'm not a lesbian but I've been terribly hurt by a boy I adored. I can't fall in love with girls but I feel like a girl would give me emotional stability and something much closer to unconditional love than what I have experienced with men. However, I am fairly confused at this point. I am not attracted to girls but I think that on an emotional level she would make a great companion. When it comes to love making, I don't find it odd, it's kind of as if I made love to myself, so it's a turn on because seeing my body naked also turns me on - obviously.
I am confused though because it just seems odd. I can develop deep feelings of friendship for a girl but never the romance and passion. Only a man can give me that if he loves me.
So why am I then thinking about this?
Is it because I'm so depressed about what happened in the past with men?
Thanks.
2006-09-12 09:54:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
no i'm not bisexual
i'm just thinking about it from the psychological perspective
there have even been homosex. men who have given up on men for being hurt by them and now they live happily with women
it's true
2006-09-12 10:04:46 · update #1
i am a lesbian and i have had friends talk to me about these kinds of feelings. i know a lot of women who love how well they can communicate with other women, and feel a relationship with a woman would just be easier! but if that's not who you're physically attracted to, then there's no reason to make it a physical relationship.
however, if you need some time away from dating men, take time out. or, immerse yourself in learning more about you and what you want. if you have a deep friendship with another woman, enjoy it. you probably are thinking about this because of your pain, so maybe there's a good reason for you to stay out of the dating arena for awhile.
2006-09-12 10:05:07 · answer #1 · answered by thirty-one characters 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you've just had bad experiences with men. Who is to say that a woman can't do you wrong? I don't know if it's just me but lately I have heard endless stories of girls cheating on good guys. I would think that if you don't feel naturally attracted to women you won't be able to force yourself to. I think most people have had a lot of bad experience with the opposite sex but we can't just all give up and stop trying. Give yourself time to heal and figure out what you want and when you figure that out just go slow. Make sure you find someone you can trust and don't rush into things. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, good luck in the future!
2006-09-12 17:06:41 · answer #2 · answered by Monika S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever watch Sex and the City? Notice that no matter what happens with the guys, they still have their female friends to rely upon.
Get a good friend for friendship.
There are 3 billion or so other guys out there. Now some are too young, and some too old. Others are too far away. Some are bastards. Some are... well, they're not all perfect. But when you start out with 3 billion and weed out the bad ones, you're still going to find a few that are just right for you.
2006-09-12 17:07:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not be a lesbian because you still open to be in love with male conditionally.It seems that your reluctance was brought about by fear that you had with your boyfriend.You want happiness like anybody else and I think you are having comfort with female because there was no recorded fear or pain with regards to women. I hope you will not turn into a double edge personality, a man and a woman. If this is the case you belong to the gay people.
2006-09-12 17:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by ol's one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. Not all men are bad. Take time to heal and get back out there. There is nothing a woman can do for you. She can't protect u, she can't give you security, nor does she have the parts to make it all work. Take time to heal, get couselling. People who are hurt become targets for lesbians and homosexuals. If you like men, stick it out. Find emotional support from family that won't try and take advantage of your vulnerability. Once you heal, get back out there.
2006-09-12 16:58:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an OK person. I do not think you are gay. Because you were previously hurt in a relationship with a man, this makes you trust girls more.
I see depression is a natural step in the healing process.
2006-09-12 17:04:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just depressed over your relationship history.
If you aren't a lesbian, you aren't a lesbian - you can't force it. It's not like you can say, "Men suck, I'm gonna be gay now."
Lean on your women friends as friends. Don't try to make friendship and your sexuality into something it can never become.
2006-09-12 16:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by Brian L 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Just get a good friend. Quit trying to find fulfillment in your life by trying to find a lifelong partner. Just live your life. Have friends (male and female). Love your family. Do things that you love to do. If you find yourself at a place in your life with someone that you could really spend more time with, do it. If not, just keep living your life.
2006-09-12 16:59:21 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you're just upset over the whole guy situation.
Recently, my boyfriend, whom I was very close to, broke up with me, and I felt the same way you're feeling.
However, if you're not a lesbian, and if you're noy bi, you can't force yourself to be so.
I would suggest hanging out with your close female friends for a while. Try to relate to them.
Good luck.
2006-09-12 19:07:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have your thoughts because you are obviously confused and hurt.
Actions speak louder than words. If you say you're not gay but you act on them. Odds are.. you're gay.
We all have thoughts that aren't healthy. It's a matter of acting upon them.
Do what makes you happy. You always have tomorrow to change your mind.
2006-09-12 16:57:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jormir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋