I'm not a lesbian but I've been terribly hurt by a boy I adored. I can't fall in love with girls but I feel like a girl would give me emotional stability and something much closer to unconditional love than what I have experienced with men. However, I am fairly confused at this point. I am not attracted to girls but I think that on an emotional level she would make a great companion. When it comes to love making, I don't find it odd, it's kind of as if I made love to myself, so it's a turn on because seeing my body naked also turns me on - obviously.
I am confused though because it just seems odd. I can develop deep feelings of friendship for a girl but never the romance and passion. Only a man can give me that if he loves me.
So why am I then thinking about this?
Is it because I'm so depressed about what happened in the past with men?
Thanks.
2006-09-12 09:53:10 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It seems like you've been hurt emotionally and you're considering a relationship with a woman because women are supposed to be more understanding, etc. I've heard from a couple of lesbians that women can be just as bad sometimes. You're probably a little bit of an emotional wreck right now too. The best thing to do at this point is to take some time to get over the break up and then sort out your emotions and attractions. If you don't like women sexually, don't pursue a sexual relationship with one just because you're pissed at men.
2006-09-12 11:08:58 · answer #1 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for a truly challenging question.
Look, right now, you are feeling quite negative about boys because of the hurt you have experienced. That is ok, but don't let one boy ruin your perception of boys. There are many good ones out there. Be open to love, no matter what package it comes in.
By the same token then, don't be afraid to explore relationships with other girls. You can have a brilliant and passionate romance with a woman if you give yourself a chance. Celebrate life and love and passion and sexual pleasure. It may be with a woman; it may be with a man. It doesn't matter which; just love and be loved.
Right now though, you are feeling hurt. Give yourself time to work through these feelings and to get through them and done with them. When you are ready, new love will appear. Man or woman, love and enjoy love. That is the best life has to offer, and without it, life can readily appear more bitter than sweet.
2006-09-12 17:04:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are thinking about it because you are trying to deal with a very hurtful situation and looking for options. You say that you have never felt romantic toward a girl which tells me this is not the option you are looking for. Find a guy that you could never be attracted to and become his friend. Tell him you just want a friend and nothing more. He will probably give you the support you need. Please do not rush into another relationship. You are still to hurt. Give yourself time and think about anything you want. Fantasy is a good way to comfort yourself when you are alone. There is nothing wrong with fantasy even if you have another girl instead of guy in your fantasy. It does not make you a lesbian. If you were you would be attracted to girls.
2006-09-12 17:00:02 · answer #3 · answered by jusme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right, you are not a lesbian. Right now however you are experiencing much pain from the past in relationships and are in a 'pondering mode' of what could be. Go and grab your best friend, eat that hagen daz (however its spelled), and get close at heart. Get back up on your feet and live life. Love happens when you least expect it, really. Its okay to fantasize, its normal. Though as one of your answerers suggested you're not one to cross that 'fence'. Just stay where you are, develop and deepen your friendship right now with your best bud, let time air your pain out, and go on from there.
2006-09-12 18:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by midnightdealer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are not attracted to girls then you are not a lesbian. You've just been hurt by a guy and you need to give yourself some time to heal. A woman can't necessarily give you what you want any more than a man can.
2006-09-12 16:56:56 · answer #5 · answered by *Cara* 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are just confused about your feelings right now. many people have been there, and many more will be, at one point in their life, or another. please do not go and try to get involved with a female if that is not what you truley want. it's not fair to any girl you would get involved with because you would end up hurting her. just take some time to yourself, heal your wounded heart, and think about what you truley want. just remember, everyone gets terribly hurt at some point...
2006-09-13 00:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by aftenthurston 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do all of us lesbians a favor and only date men... Get some help fast... Don't hurt people just because you have been hurt.... If you cant offer a woman what she deserve (true love) than you would be just as bad as your ex-boyfriend..... (PUSH) oops sorry that was me pushing you back on your side of the fence.... BY
2006-09-12 16:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by mylife 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go for it sweetie. All men lie and all men cheat. And this is coming from a man.
2006-09-12 16:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
your hurting will go away slowly. ive also thought about s h i t like that
2006-09-12 16:55:48 · answer #9 · answered by lil_azteca3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're confused, probably because you're not very smart.
2006-09-12 19:20:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋