How far it went with my BF & my Husband - I dont know! and dont wanna know. However, my Husband did confess to me that they have been flirting, Text Messaging and e-mailing each other - He says that it has ended. My friendship with her has changed, but has not ended. I need to and I want to tell her that I know; but, can't determine how Im going to confront her.. I want it to be a slap in the face - without using my hand (if you know what I mean). Thanks
2006-09-12 09:50:51 · 25 answers · asked by Jaii 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Congrats on your good sense so far. Tell her outright that you are surprised that she would risk the friendship you have shared for so long, for a fling with your husband. Tell her that you were obviously mistaken in your choice of best friends, and that she does not have enough class to kiss your, well foot or what ever. If your husband has truly begged your forgiveness, ( make him crawl), then tell her he told you all, and your marriage is worth more then her little fling. If you do want to keep her as a friend, then tell her you do not trust her and she must work on rebuilding your relationship.
2006-09-12 09:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by stevensings20032001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I would do is talk with my husband. If the marriage is worth saving I'd expect he would go to counseling with you. It sounds as if there are other underlying problems as well that need to be worked on. The second thing I would do is face to face contact with my "best" friend. Truly, she is no friend or she would have not let this happen or been a part of it. I would be polite to her (give her the respect she should have shown you-be the better person) but she would definitely know that I was crushed to find out a) I could not trust a friend & she was sneaking behind my back b)she would let things go as far as she did c)she did not come to you and let you know that he was e-mailing her e)If I had borrowed items of her's I give them all back at this time f)stand my ground and let her know I can NOT be friends any longer (I don't think I would trust her ever again) g)this would be done in a public restaurant. I would not scream or holler at her or swear. When I had completed what I had to say I'd walk away. GOOD LUCK
2006-09-12 10:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by HolidayGurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have evidence, then I would simply stop calling her. That would be the biggest slap in the face. Everytime she calls or e-mails you, tell her that you're busy. No explanation. That is the worst thing you can do to someone who has done this to you. The curiosity will drive her insane. She'll wonder if you know. This way, now YOU know something that SHE doesn't.
Your husband needs a reality check as well. If you don't have evidence, be wary that he is possibly trying to get you in a fight with your best friend. Men can sometimes be strange like that if they are jealous and want you all to themselves. It's a controlling behavior and men like that have other issues that you don't even want to deal with.
How could you not want to know how far it went? If your husband had sex with your best friend, he should be kicked to the curb immediately (for lack of a better term). Any man who would do that to you will do it again. If it was just flirting, then it can be forgiven if you really feel like you can truly trust him from now on.
Trust your instincts.
2006-09-12 10:21:24 · answer #3 · answered by J B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is hard but you have to keep that ***** close. You know the saying keep your friends close and your enemies closer. So if you want to stay ahead of their little game you have to make sure you keep her as a friend. Treating her different or spacing yourself from her will allow her to play with your husband. If that is to much work just tell her that your husband confessed the whole thing. Also, let her know that it is not cool and it's against friendship law. There are just some things that are completely unacceptable. Good luck.
2006-09-12 10:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by nina_ross692000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st have you seen the evidence? i had an ex that would make up things about him and my b/f cause he did not like her. he said she was a bad influence, she did not even live in the same state. he was a very jellous person and did not like me having friends. if he saves and shows you proof, then id confront her and ask her why. if she gave you a b.s. answer, then id end the friendship. you can no longer trust her , much less him, but love is love and that is hard to let go of. GOOD LUCK HONEY
2006-09-12 10:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by tara h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me I would want to tell everyone what a bitchy, horrible, liar she is. I would anonymously let people know. First is she married? Tell her husband. You could also send a letter to her boss regarding her asinine behavior. Tell her parents. Post a singles ad in the newspaper with her info.
I had a friend like that once. I finally got the nerve to tell her exactly what I thought of her and I am so glad I did.
2006-09-12 09:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by kristina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what I did.
I overheard my friend suggesting a liaison with my husband. He went along until he figured out she was serious and then he got real nervous. He was not interested. I told him, he needed to prove to me that he was innocent. He was willing to participate in whatever scheme I had in mind, because he didn't want to upset/lose/hurt me.
I made-up my husband to look like he had a knife-wound on his forehead. (Did I tell you I was in theatre?)
I handed him a dish-towel and took him in the car to her Apartment. He called and she let him into the entry. You could hear the excitement in her voice.
He stumbled to her door, and leaned against the jamb. I stood behind him. He said to her door "The ***** finally threw me out!"
When she opened the door and wrapped her arms around him, and started to lead him into the house, there I was! I started laughing that she would think he would leave me for her.
She dropped his arm like a hot rock. He apologized for the bad joke, and left with me, arm-in-arm, laughing.
She wouldn't have any more to do with him or me. And she got an UNmarried boyfriend.
Look up "Mortified" in the dictionary. It has her picture, right there.LMAO
2006-09-12 10:13:34 · answer #7 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont get revenge. You will only go down to her level.
You need to stop your freindship.... completly.
She will try this again. Your marraige is worth much more than a so called freindship. Just be honest, and you dont even have to do it in person. Write a letter and let her know,... that you know whats up. And that a true freind would never do that to you.
2006-09-12 09:55:04 · answer #8 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are right, you should confront her. Start by asking her about the flirting. And say that your husband and you noticed that they have been flirting. They make a joke about it. Then say... "But you and my husband doing *blah blah blah* I don't find funny at all!" Then she will probably deny it... but keep attacking at her all you know. But make sure you KNOW the imformation you are saying. Good Luck to you. (you deserve a better friend) Cya xoxo
2006-09-12 09:57:44 · answer #9 · answered by Kiss_Kris_xo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you 2 are together. Just say something like. How come you haven't been text messaging (bob) anymore. We really got a kick out of text messaging you back. That should do it. lol
2006-09-12 09:55:00 · answer #10 · answered by xeson1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋