I am planning on taking my ex to maintenance enforcement but he makes me feel guilty and selfish for wanting to do this. I have not taken action in 7 years and have lived pay cheque to pay cheque not being able to give my child the extras in life. Such as soccer, dance or even swimming lessons. I am not a selfish person but I am having a hard time telling my child no all the time.
2006-09-12 08:54:26 · 14 answers · asked by val h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, you should feel proud. Any man that would deprive his children of these basic skills is someone who should have thier pay garnished.
Don't feel guilty that you are asking for these things...Feel guilty that you are not ASKING FOR MORE!
Good luck and stay strong!
Billy!
2006-09-12 08:57:17 · answer #1 · answered by Billy! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child does not NEED lessons or sports... a lot of kids are overstressed these days, even the very young! It's easier living paycheck to paycheck without spoiling your child. Take the father to court if need be, but keep in mind that a judge will see the lessons and such as "wants" ...a kid also doesn't NEED the latest gaming platform. There isn't much cost in having your kid play soccor with a few of his/her friends at a park... shin guards and play clothes as well as a ball. The cleats would just be grown out of soon enough if the child is small. A child won't be ostracized if (s)he doesn't play on a sports team. Also, most communities offer swimming lessons at local pools for next to nothing (just the pool membership). A child doesn't really need lessons, though. Learning to float, then moving around while floating, then move from there... there are websites that could help with this, too. I'm sorry if I sound mean, but money would be better spent meeting NEEDS (such as healthcare) rather than wants... or even in a college fund (though there *are* student loans out there for a reason!)
2006-09-12 16:07:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is trying to avoid the responsibility of supporting his child. The Attorney Generals of these 50 United States call them "deadbeat" parents (Female parents try it too when they have to pay.). It is the law and your kid deserves the money, provided you are using it for the kid and not doing stuff like partying, etc. with it. The system was set up just for situations like yours when one party of the divorce refuses to live up to what the court has said. Some states have even added jail time to the deadbeats to put more teeth into the law. You shouldn't feel guilty because you want better for you kid. How would you feel if you had to do without simply because your parent RAPR (Refuses to Accept Parental Responsibility)? Even more can be done too. If your ex continues to neglect his responsibility, you could also go back to court to terminate ALL of his parental rights, meaning no visitation, etc. Don't let him walk over you both. If he really cared, it wouldn't be an issue. He would gladly pay each month without a gripe. It is obvious he doesn't care and is playing you to be a wet noodle who wouldn't do anything about it.
2006-09-12 16:09:21 · answer #3 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's only doing that because HE is selfish.
Have you been able to ask him to pay for soccer and all the things your child wants? Men get so pi$$ed off paying more, because they can't see where it's going...lack of control. How about sending him a bill for dance class? or soccer, or uniforms for school? If he doesn't appreciate that, then you have to require an increase. If you both were still married, he'd have even less of his money. he's getting away dirt cheap now.
2006-09-12 15:59:15 · answer #4 · answered by QWERTY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure when you say wanting the best for your child that you don't mean spoiling them rotten...
If he is providing food clothing money and housing through his support, he is providing the essentials.
Have a talk with him about adding some other things to your childs life that you both can agree on. And split the cost! But to take him back to court for him to pay alone is totally wrong... and you wonder why men have had it with money grubbing women...
Remember telling your child no is a part of being a parent... You don't have to say no to everything but if the child is old enough to go to a dance, they are also old enough to get a part time job....
2006-09-12 16:10:00 · answer #5 · answered by john s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty at all for wanting the best for you child. All parents want the best for their kids. Though I think you should have acted sooner with the ex, because to wait 7 years, my heavens that is way too long to deal with the situation. Should have taken care of it the first time he missed child support payments. That way your child as well as yourself could be better off in your present situation.
2006-09-12 15:59:43 · answer #6 · answered by Bloody Kisses 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty about it at all. It's time the situation was examined to be fair to your child. He's being selfish to want to deny his own child opportunities.
2006-09-12 15:58:31 · answer #7 · answered by Kuji 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother, I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all. You waited 7 years for this, you and your child deserve what is best and that could be it.
2006-09-12 15:58:42 · answer #8 · answered by staysee921 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl don't feel guilty. He didn't feel bad about making the baby so he can just deal with it. You didn't make that baby by yourself you shouldn't have to pay for what it needs by yourself. Your not being selfish he is.
2006-09-12 16:00:46 · answer #9 · answered by a 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go for it And you should not feel bad for wanting the best for your child, I do believe ever parent wants the best for there child, Good luck with taking him for your money you should of done it sooner.
2006-09-12 16:37:20 · answer #10 · answered by whats up all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋