Am I a loner? Why am I only truly happy when I'm out with the dog or on my own?

Question

I have a husband of 11 yrs who is a virtual stranger, 2 children who are both clever but rude, lazy and cheeky. A job that I love but is draining. I only feel happy when I'm in the middle of nowhere with the dog, especially at the beach. Or am reading or alone with my thoughts. I've never been in a gang of friends and can only count people I truly like on one hand. Am I odd or a loner or what. Please send kind answers.

Answer 1

what do you and the dog do when alone?

Answer 2

Virtual stranger, draining, rude, lazy and cheeky, who would want to be around any of that?

You may be a loner too. There is nothing odd about that. Some people are extroverts others not. My wife and I dread the parties we are invited to, and our real friends we can count on one hand. Enjoy your single digit friends. Enjoy your time with the dog at the beach and hiking etc and don`t feel guilty about it.

Answer 3

There's nothing wrong with wanting a bit of me time. This doesn't make u a loner or odd. Sometimes u need that space to clear your head. I know i used to be a loner had no friends and i didn't feel like i needed any. Ive since made some friends and i enjoy being with them but i still prefer my own company.

Answer 4

It sounds as if you`ve lost your way in life,your not a loner but enjoying the silence and your own space.Everybody needs space,peace and quiet now and again.I think you need to address your marriage,sit your husband down without your children present and tell him how your feeling,that you feel he has become a stranger and that you feel your children are disrespectful towards you.Regarding your job you could start an evening class at your local college,find a a short course in something that interests you..........Good luck.

Answer 5

You are NOT alone in feeling this way. It's normal to want your own space and most children, sadly, seem to learn bad behaviour despite their parents' best efforts.

I'm a loner with friends these days. I've learned to relax a bit, and if I'm alone, I'm alone, but in the final analysis we come into this world alone and leave it in the same manner.

Drop me a line or join my blog as a friend - we have a nice camaraderie going... don't be a virtual stranger ... be a virtual friend!

Answer 6

i think alot of women get this way they are busy looking after the family and then feel that going out is a hassle they get good friends a few that mean they can call on phone and no need to get out every weekend ,after doing all the work around the house the women can feel that everyone relys on her to hold things together and the kids no matter how you care are ungrateful so of course on your own having peace is bliss getting away from the noise and hustle and bustle and responsibility's at home.
you are tired and feeling down i get like this where i feel why bother and all i want is some days doing nothing no family no kids.
So you are not alone.

Answer 7

Maybe you are a loner... and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It is nice to escape the chaos sometimes and be alone with your own thoughts. Perhaps you have surrounded yourself with people and relationships that you never really enjoyed...but I think what is more likely is that you truly do value the time you spend with your loved ones, but value alone time as well. This is actually extremely healthy, as many people have difficulty being by themselves for very long. It is good to have an outlet that soothes you.

Answer 8

you are not odd or a loner. you dont have a load of friends cause you dont need them. some people need to have a load of people around them to be happy and others dont need many at all.
you may need to work on your relationship with your husband and your children. you are streching yourself to thin. you need to make family time but keep some alone time for you.

it does happen when you are overstreched and when you get the chance you just want to be alone and unwind where there are no people. it happens more than you think

i hope it helps a bit

Answer 9

Wow ...if you can count the people you like on one hand...good for you.
I find that I am like that too and people find that hard to accept. I tell people that I maybe alone, but I am never lonely. I find that friendships and aquaintances can carry a dear price that I am just not willing to pay. i live in a small community and the backstabbing never ends. I don't agree with it and never will, I just don't want to be a part of it. I am fortunate that my husband and I are tight and he feels the same way.
It sounds like there is alot of underlying stress on you and your dog is the only one not to put demands on you. Your not odd, but are engaging in a way of mental self preservation. Go with it.

Answer 10

Sounds like you are at a crossroads. I think there is much work to be done on yourself, your husband, and the two clever but rude children. I think family counseling is in order. If the rest won't go, then you go. You may end up getting rid of the husband, and whipping the little brats into shape. It sounds like they need whipping into shape desperately. And don't listen to stocktrader. This is some guy who is talking off the top of his empty head.

Answer 11

You my dear, are perfectly normal, i am similar to you, I like my own company, i don't get into coffee groups, disusing people, i really don't like visiting people, and i love the beach, living in NZ i am surrounded by beaches, and beautiful sunny weather, I love reading, and sewing, and yeah i have a dog, but don't take her to beaches as she runs after everything in sight, and scares people.So you are definitely not odd, you might be a bit of a loner, but nothing wrong with that, so cheers and good luck..............