The death of those not close to you?

Question

Maybe admitting this doesn't say much good about me (judge how you will), but I hate hearing of the deaths of people I'm not close to. I end up with a feeling of guilt and shame that someone that might have deserved more appreciation wasn't given it by me. Yet I don't feel enough of a desire to pay much respect to people I don't know while they still live.

Take Steve Irwin. I never hated the guy, but I was never a fan of his. I saw him mostly as kind of annoying guy with a good heart. I pretty much ignored him and his shows and movies. But now I have some guilt over treating him like that.

Again, I hate death because it makes me reflect on how I've treated people. I could treat people better, but there's only so far I am comfortable going in doing so.

Answer 1

You should not feel guilty for this. You didn't know him. You can mourn the loss of a wonderful animal activist that the world lost - but that is about it.

Answer 2

Hmm. I don't so much think that you should feel such guilt. Like it's been said, you didn't know him. I felt pretty similar to how you do. I wasn't a huge fan of the guys, nor did I hate him. He was just kind of another person to me, with a T.V show that never really interested me. The only thing I do feel saddened about, is the fact he had kid, a family. And how hard it must be for them. While i'm still not ruling out the part that it is sad his life was taken, I just tend to mourn more for the people left behind that were close to him, unlike myself.

Answer 3

You wrote "I hate death because it makes me reflect on how I've treated people. I could treat people better, but there's only so far I am comfortable going in doing so."

I think that this shows that you are a sensitive, thoughtful, analytical person - this is your character and as far as I can see these are good, positive qualities (that's my judgement).

However, I don't think that you need to overly concern yourself with people who have died that you weren't involved with in a close, personal way.

I think it's ok that you were not involved with Steve Irwin because you were not a fan of his and just because he is gone now, you do not have to feel bad about your treatment of him. You have a right to your feelings, decisions, choices in your life - you cannot be deeply involved with everyone (no one can).

I am also not deeply involved with famous people's death unless I was a fan and then, it is really fleeting as in fame is fleeting. For example, when Princess Diana died - I did not feel much of anything (I am not British). But I remember the nun Mother Teresa died around the same time, but people were much more concerned with Princess Diana (I think it was her glamor). However, I felt the greater loss to the world was Mother Teresa, but still I didn't think about her too much either.

So, your attitude, I think is quite normal and I don't think you need to feel guilty about anything.

Just keep being who you are and live life to the fullest and you seem to be an introspective person - so just keep on thinking deeply without feeling deeply guilty because it's completely unecessary.

Answer 4

It is nearly impossible to feel a great loss of someone you never met, or barely know. Most people feel bad about the deaths of people like Irwin for only a short item, then they are back to their lives. The people who are really affected are those closest to him. It's like the people who died on 9-11. I felt bad for them and their families, of course, but it didn't affect me deeply as I did not know these people personally. I think that is more normal than wailing for days on end or becoming completely unglued over the demise of strangers. And I was NOT an Irwin fan either. He seemed like a good guy but he was annoying to watch.

Answer 5

Society has a tendency to makes saints out of those who have died, and those we see on television regularly often seem like friends, but this is just an illusion. One should not be expected to feel a personal loss for someone one didn't know, but it's human to show respect for the feelings of those who did know the decedent.

Right now there are people celebrating their birthday all over the world. You shouldn't feel guilty for not buying a gift for each and every one. That doesn't mean that you aren't a caring person, or that they don't count; it's simply not practical.

Answer 6

Don't feel guilty--I would hope you get more upset when something happens to those close to you than when it happens to someone you didn't even know. I kind of agree with you about Steve Irwin--he was a likeable enough guy, but he took an awful lot of chances. Treat people as well as you can, but you don't have to hold yourself up to the ultimate standard, either--you can be friendly and courteous without fawning over people.

Answer 7

You are who you are, don't worry....who you are talking about are not even related to you, or I don't think they are..you can't pay attention to everyone in this world., but you can love your family and friends more...you never know when you'll never see them again, don't take life too much for granted. where I work there was this guy that pulled in on a motorcycle., and he had sort of an attitude, very macho, etc. I didn't pay much attention to him, he didn't come in to our dealership to see me, but I was aware of his "attitude", after he left, he was killed not more then 5 min. later, as he tried to pass a truck that was stopped and he turned into him, hit a guard rail and died (hopefully instantly), Now, had I known that this was this guys last few minutes on earth, I would have at least smiled at him.

Answer 8

if there was no personal contact then dont feel guilty for not being heart broken about their death. beside death is just a reminder that one day it will be your turn to face it.

Answer 9

I'd say most of us feel this way. The more you know someone, the more feeling you have towards them.

Answer 10

you dont have to love and like all the people yet you don't need to hate people ,so if someone gone and he/she is not closed to you ,you can feel sorry to him and think of his/her good things that they have done in their lives and ask the God for his merci on them and let the life goes on ........for me i would think of them and the thinks they have done in their lives and i will finally like them and thats it