Sometimes when my boyfriend and I get into an argument and I start to cry and he gets all defensive, he then tells me that he needs to be left alone and that I should give him some break? He always needs time and I get confused worrying he does not care about me? Why does he says to leave him alone?
2006-09-12 08:27:30 · 21 answers · asked by violet b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
are you sure you are not being to clingy
2006-09-12 08:30:36 · answer #1 · answered by Bob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,Violet B,
From my own perspective,and speaking as a male, I think the 'want to be left alone' /'give me some space' routine is a sort of emotional ejector seat- the argument has got way out of control, and the guy just doesn't know which way to steer it,or whether to step on the brakes, so instead he just wants to bug out and leave you to crash and burn.
I was a lot like that years ago,I'm sorry to say,but maybe that was me being selfish and immature.
I've learnt since,that rather than let my emotions rule my head (mouth), I slow down,take a breath and say 'whoa! let's both hang on and take a time out'
Then let things calm down a little,and go through the problem a step at a time,calmly, until a compromise and a few mutual apologies can be reached.
Never go to bed on an argument- it's very uncomfortable.
He does care about you,but leaving you to wallow doesn't achieve anything, so both sit down and resolve it -don't let it go sour.
Good luck.
Oh, and smile- we on Y!A still love ya....
x
2006-09-12 09:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by misterviv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men don`t know how to handle it when somebody cries.Men are not as open as we are when it comes to the feeling department,they tend to want to be left alone.Maybe you need to sit your boyfriend down and calmly talk how your feeling but that you would rather not get into an argument,that you want to hear how he feels then take it from there.Suggest a bit of breathing space so you can hook up with friends and have a reality check and then after your space apart discuss what happens next....Good luck.
2006-09-12 08:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by sarah y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I have spent months feeling the same as you but I have come to the conclusion that men are just different to us.
Women are the more emotional sex and we find it easier to cry infront of people. (if we are honest we probably sometimes do it just to get a reaction) whereas men arent like that!!
They like to look strong and secure all the time, and they cant do that with thoughts buzzing around their head, so they need time to collect all thier thoughts and understand their own feelings before feeling they can speak to us!!
It sounds like crazy stuff but I'm pretty sure I'm right!!Dont think men and women will ever understand eachother fully though!!
2006-09-12 08:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by sianmog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly no man or woman likes to see another person cry.
However it may be that he just needs some time to think about the argument and perhaps the way forward.
It doesn't have to be a negative reaction.
Relationships are all about gaining understandings of each other.
2006-09-12 09:18:29 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men often need time alone to gather their thoughts. Men don't have the same grasp on their emotions that we do. A lot of times, they just feel things and aren't sure why...sitting alone and thinking helps them to understand. Men need space when arguing. And he probably hates to see you cry.
2006-09-12 08:33:11 · answer #6 · answered by alliekittie18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know for sure either, but my ex-boyfriend would always get annoyed and leave when i started to cry. Sometimes he would say it was because he cared about me so much that he hated to see me that way. Others he would say it made him feel like i was trying to blackmail him with my tears to get my way.
2006-09-12 08:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by jade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don`t worry ,you never lose him. Men need sometimes to be alone, think about what they done. But cry women most effective and strong arm against men, makes them surrender and speechless.
2006-09-12 08:48:22 · answer #8 · answered by discover 1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because women cry to get out of arguments. Not all women but alot do (In my experience, not that i run round making girls cry).
Its a bit hard to stay mad and get your point across when some womans crying her eyes out.
2006-09-12 08:32:16 · answer #9 · answered by Luke M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i get into an argument and make my partner cry, this makes me feel guilty and i feel so angry at that moment that i wont to carry on, but i care deeply for her and do not want to upset her anymore so i say i need some space, time for me to calm down and feel less emotional and time for her to calm down and stop crying, then i go apologise,
and we have make-up sex.
everyones a winner!!!
2006-09-12 08:38:18 · answer #10 · answered by cloud600 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men don't like us girlies crying, they don't know how to handle it! I think it's their worst nightmare!! We are uncontrollable when we start blubbing!!
Maybe you should talk to him about it and ask him why he does that to you. He does care about you. Try not to let it get to that stage next time, try not to cry at him, just keep calm and sort it out that way.
2006-09-12 08:34:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋