I have been with this guy for 4 years and have had two children.... he tells me he will not marry me, but we are together. he never really gives me and answer to why he doesn't want to. he just says marrage isn't for me. do all men say this? why is he living with me and why have we been together for 4 years then? why not just marry me already??
2006-09-12 08:22:16 · 15 answers · asked by Mother_Of_2 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
sometimes when people are telling you something, they're trying to tell you something. he isn't going to marry you. if you want to be married, move on. if you want to be with him and continue your family, stay with him - but you will remain unmarried. you need to evaluate what is important to you.
2006-09-12 08:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by Gabrielle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because it is easier to walk away. You don't have to go through a costly divorce and if your cheating and get caught. They say
"What we're not married?" You were the one who didn't take the pill and got pregnant. He didn't and I'll just bet it wasn't his idea.
You thought it would force him to marry you. when usually that isn't that great of a marriage. Are you working? You should be working towards getting a career and a good job.
Because one day he will do just that walk away.
You will have very little recourse. When you go before a judge and say I lived with this man and had 2 kids and now i want him to support them. It is hard enough when two people are married to get child support. You have painted your self in a corner.
Better get a good job. Most marriages fail. 60 to 75%
Live ins' almost 100% eventually. Watch Dr. Phil
He is not in it for the long haul. If he was he would want marriage.
When you couldn't trap him by getting pregnant, you don't know it but that is when he took a stand. He is never marrying you.
2006-09-12 08:32:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You make no mention of what nationality you and your man, but judging by your avatar's complexion.....well, there was an article in the Washington Post recently about how there's a perception that marriage is only "for white people"; like somehow other ethnic groups have evolved past the need for such relationships, or that the institution is somehow obsolete. The current illegitimacy rates, particularly among minorities, would tend to suggest this attitude is pretty prevalent.
2006-09-12 08:30:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you allowed him to from the very beginning. You gave him what he wanted (you know, sex). Why now does he have to marry you? You should have gotten married before having children because that would have told you where his priorities were. He knew in the beginning that he didn't have to committ because you allowed it. You need to set up boundaries for yourself and quit allowing him to use you. Marriage isn't for him, but obviously the sex was. Living with someone is easy because they feel that they can come an go as they please. He never had any intentions of marrying you. Please let him go and in the future be careful not to have children without knowing what you are getting yourself into with that person.
2006-09-12 08:34:46 · answer #4 · answered by curly98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I said the same thing to my GF a while ago. To be honest, I said it because even though I loved her, I wasn't 100% sure she was the one for me. I was afraid that after i married her i'd run into another woman who i felt would have made a better match for me.
At the same time, I stayed with this girl because I loved her, and I was very comfortable around her. I guess the truth is I just kept her on hold just in case one day i woke up and thought 'Hey I'm tired of searching for the perfect woman, you'll do.'
I know what i'm saying sounds terrible-but i do believe alot of guys feel this way.
2006-09-12 08:29:21 · answer #5 · answered by Ghostman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know two people who have been together for 14 years but are not married. Marriage is not essential, and a relationship can be just as good without it as with it. Although it does have benefits. I guess this guy just fears divorce to much.
2006-09-12 08:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by Richard Parker-AKA-Wes Fields 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has already taken you as wife.... you gave him the most perfect gift you could ...his children....The why is something only he can answer...??
He is either afraid or he thinks he can walk away if things get bad....Which isn't true now a days.....and he won't unless he is a total scumbag.....his kids should be the first reason why he should marry you....the second is YOU...if you didn't have children the first would be you...sorry.
2006-09-12 08:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by tincre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old saying goes: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Why should he marry you? He has everything he needs except a piece of paper that says you are legally married. To him, whats the point?
2006-09-12 08:30:09 · answer #8 · answered by wilchy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been married 10 years myself. Some guys have hang ups. If he won't give you a reason then maybe you need to move on and let him find out why he should marry you.
2006-09-12 08:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by Charles B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old r u 29??
did u make 2 children from that man????
well, he can make s'ex wit u, he already has u in his life. he F'uk u whenever u want..
he iis using u my friend..
ur only another stupid american.. im sorry
HOW did u let him use u?
2006-09-12 08:28:26 · answer #10 · answered by she-ra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋