My fiance is an alcoholic and an adict he is not using any more but he does still drink on occasion. He has sworn to me he will not use and then gone out and smoked weed a couple times. it really hurt me and im so scared for him to do it again. he says im controlling because it scares me when he drinks.. i just dont want to lose him to that. I want him to be happy and healthy with out drugs and alcohol in his life..... am i controlling???
2006-09-12 08:19:10 · 18 answers · asked by TEMPTRESS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I feel like im just waiting for the next time he rips my heart out and uses again. i really want to believe in him and trust him and whenever i talk to him he just puts everything on me and says well ya maybe i smoked but remember when you did this and on and on and on and says i try to control his every move. I dont want to leave but its tearing me apart i have no self esteem anymore i dont even know who i am anymore im so lost.....
2006-09-12 08:32:35 · update #1
he has done it all... he used to slam (shoot up) heroin and coke and meth. he has done extacy, weed mushrooms, acid, alcohol, fairy dust, opium any drug you can shoot, snort, smoke or drink he has done it! candy flip flower flip special k ghb all of it
2006-09-12 08:34:47 · update #2
I don't think that you are controlling, you are just very concerned, as you should be. just keep reassuring him that you love and care deeply for him, maybe he'll come around . good luck and GOD BLESS !!!!
2006-09-12 08:25:50 · answer #1 · answered by helen b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In destiny, in case you spot your ex there are some issues you're able to do: - tell a pal to maintain you far off from him prefably one that isnt eating - circulate punch him interior the face, so he's accustomed to to not even worry lol - concentration your interest on somebody else - provide up eating while your tipsy and nevertheless have a solid time - play a game of make him pick me in order that which you would be able to knock him back- while your decrease than the impact of alcohol it is very efficient - in case you hate him as much as you declare and you had a solid time with him at a social gathering and something befell then dont make it a huge deal. the huge deal is while your thoughts emerge or in the experience that your nevertheless not over him now thats a bugger! xx
2016-10-14 22:28:12 · answer #2 · answered by swindler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been down that road as the wife of an alcoholic-addict. If you are not prepared to spend countless sleepless nights worndering where he is and if he is alive, cut your losses and find a healthy person to love. Otherwise, you will age dramatically, lie and hide the truth from your friends and love ones because you will not want them to know how stupid you are behaving behind someone that professes his love for you but has no idea how to love. Trust me addiction is worse that having a man cheat on you because he isl truly out of control.
Self preservation should be your first thought always. The only person you can change is you.
2006-09-12 08:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by datingyoungincali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weed and alcohol in moderation can't hurt...you didn't say WHAT he was "addicted" to! You can't get married if your relationship is going to be ruined by this paranoia and lack of trust. If he was using hard drugs before and now is just having an occasional toke or a beer you oughta lay off. If he's a bad drunk, abusive or whatever then that's a different story. Your background story needs more details.
2006-09-12 08:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You are just concerned. There is nothing wrong with being concerned for a loved one, although u have to know that you cant be too forceful about the topic, you could just run him off if it is serious. Just keep in mind that he is gonna do what he wants to do anyway. Honestly, it would prolly be better for the both of you to go get counseling for it, that way he would know exactly how he is hurting not only himself, but u as well
2006-09-12 08:30:50 · answer #5 · answered by scorpioangel22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of this relationship. Period. He is the one controlling you by telling you that you are controlling. Speaking as a male in recovery, DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON. DO NOT DATE HIM. DO NOT TALK TO HIM
Once he gets 100% sober for more than 1 yer without any lies or lapses, let him come find you--but don't hold your breath--move on with your life before it's too late
2006-09-14 18:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by JEFFREY K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to really need to get out of that relationship now before you dig yourself into that hole any deeper. He's obviously a liar as well as an addict so move on now or expect it to continue after you are married. You are not controlling, but you are also not thinking correctly if you think he has the power to change given his past and current behavior.
2006-09-12 08:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....if you can get along w/o (do not love him madly) him I would walk. It is hell living from day to day, waiting for the next shoe to drop.
I have the same problem, going on 9 years.
He tells me he is much better, but whenever he comes over all off my bottles drop down to nothing, met him for Sunday lunch and he was already drunk.
If you feel that you are better off with him, stay...........if you feel that you are better off without him, go.
Easy for me to say.
I know that my on and off again boyfriend will always love vodka, or any kind of liquor more than me.........you need to face that or move on.
That is their way........mine always put every thing back on me too..even said that he drinks b/c I expect him to!!!!!!! when he knew that the only reason we could not stay together was b/c I would/could not put up with his drunkenness...I think I just got in his way of pursuing his most beloved interest. He brought my self esteem to the bottom and turned my grown kids against me, turned my friends against me and almost and finally did in the end cost me respect at my job AND my job.........no one respected me when they discovered who I was with.
After reading your add ons I am now sure..............YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM...........think about what kind of father he would make!!!!!!! Please be strong.
2006-09-12 08:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be controlling....It 's okay for matters like this. Put your foot down.
let him know how you feel and be ready to walk away until he is for sure mature to change these ways. you can live without him and find someone....who can satisfy you sexually and emotionally. There are guys out there who can do that without all the addictions and baggage. Make a mature statement to yourself and him. Let him see that you want him and not the baggage. Plus, he is not showing to you respect and mature levels. I'd walk away for now. Your 19, wow, plenty of guys out there realllllllllllyyy.................
2006-09-13 11:11:10 · answer #9 · answered by Dale S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a sad person. Leave him alone and work on your sense of self worth. You need some help with self esteem.
2006-09-13 11:42:54 · answer #10 · answered by Big Timer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl I've been down this road with my ex husband he always would sneek around and smoke pot and drink every now and then he always told me I was controlling to but no you just really love him and don't want to see him like that if he keeps on then I would find somebody else
2006-09-12 08:26:36 · answer #11 · answered by georgiachic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋