Ok, I have been with this guy for over 4 years now and have had two children with him, we are both younger,23, and when we get into arguments he tells me that I am fat. It hurts my feelings soo much for him to stoop that low. I know that I am not skinny nor am I overly obese. Damn I had two kids within 3 years...what do you expect. What should I do about this next time this happens...what should I say to defend myself?
2006-09-12 08:16:19 · 19 answers · asked by Mother_Of_2 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Tell him that next time he can have the baby.
2006-09-12 08:18:49 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ady_8e_80♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have two children, you have three. When you get into an argument with him and his comebacks are as "brilliant" as "You're fat".. then you have another child on your hands and certainly NOT an adult for a partner. Frankly, the argument would be over at that point for me.
Your self-esteem should never be affected by the rantings of a spoiled child... do your "other" two kids make you feel that way? No. So when he gets to that point, end the argument. Remember that YOU are the adult at that point and wait until he gets ovr his petulance before you speak about the problem again. I would also recommend some counseling. Just for you.
2006-09-12 08:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by revenueforge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he has to sort out the problems he has in his life as you can recognise yours and it's not your weight or anything else it's him. Ask him how committed he is to the relationship. If he's not willing to give a reasonable answer you possibly don't have a relationship. You are, I understand only 23. Relationships can be a comfortable place to be as to be without may seem scary but change the scary into a challenge. You've had two kids what can be more scary than that. Take charge of the situation otherwise it will never get better. Good Luck.
2006-09-12 08:53:42 · answer #3 · answered by bob kerr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a bad situation. Why would you allow someone to treat you like this. Obviously he knows that he can get away with it because he's done it before. Make a change or your children will grow up thinking it's ok to do that to their boyfriend/girlfriend when they are adults. Get into couples counseling or get rid of him. There are plenty of bad things out in the world. Your home should be a safe place.
2006-09-12 08:21:55 · answer #4 · answered by mjkinoh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't even know you and i can honestly say...If the insults keep up than he's not worth staying with. You are worth more then that then to be constantly put down with fat comments. First...try acting like it don't bother you if you want to work things out with him and then see if there is any change. If not, i would warn him that if things don't change ..You don't want your kids to hear the negative comments regarding you...they might start picking that up eventually and then what.? Regardless of WHY hes saying that he needs to be informed of the severity of what might happen in the near future if things don't change! Stick to your word whatever it is!
2006-09-12 08:34:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that the only reason he talks to you like that is because he is insecure of himself then ask him if it makes him feel better to put you down. If he continues this behavior you need to move on and tell him to get lost. I know that will be hard, especially with children in the picture, but what he is doing is verbal abuse and no one should have to put up with that, life is too short. If he won't appreciate you there is someone else who will.
2006-09-12 08:24:08 · answer #6 · answered by roxxygrrl13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to consider your feelings. Tell him how it makes you feel. Ask him if he would like to be called fat or a loser or something along those lines. If he loves you, he wouldn't want to hurt you. No matter whether your fighting or not. Tell him not to stoop to name calling. Just stick to what your fighting about and try to compromise on what the problem is.
2006-09-12 08:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he calls you fat because he knows it hurts your feelings. you're 23 loose the weight, don't make excuses as to why you let your self go. so what you had 2 kids in 3 years, get it together girl. once you're all hot again you'll have the upper hand and the confidence to dump him...
2006-09-12 08:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by The Key Master 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is verbally abusing you and that's not OK. Tell him to stop. You do not need a life of verbal abuse, nor do you deserve it. He has 2 children and it's time he starts acting less like a child and more like an adult.
2006-09-12 08:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a toxic relationship. This guy has absolutely no respect for you. He is saying the one thing that he knows will hurt you the absolute worst. Do you really want your kids to be raised like that? Do you want HIM as a role model?
2006-09-12 08:19:27 · answer #10 · answered by LNH 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is very harsh for him to say that to you... Since you have kids with him.... Tell him one of these days (when you are not arguing) Why does he says such mean things to you? And those things he says hurts your feelings.... (another thing it can be is when he is anger, he may say things that he doesn't mean to say.... Or he just wants you to get angerier too> That's how my boyfriend gets when we get into arguements)...
2006-09-12 08:22:12 · answer #11 · answered by Vampireme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋