My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Things were really tough the last few months. It was like he wanted to spend more time with this one friend of his then he did me. I would always ***** about him spendin all this time with his friends, Well he broke up with me yesterday and it crushed me. Today we talked and we are gonna try working it out again. I know I gotta stop bitchin about stuff. any other suggestions that I could do to keep this realtionship working?
2006-09-12 08:10:24 · 28 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Change of venue. Try something new with him! Go somewhere you two haven't been. Let him spend time with his friends; meanwhile, you take up a new hobby to pass the time. Good luck.
2006-09-12 08:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by DMBthatsme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find humor in all things, it is just as easy to be humorous about the same topic as it is to be bit_hy about it. If you two live together let him and his friends go outside or in the grage so that his buddies are not in your space. It seems like men need more buddy time then women for some reason it is a little thing unless his friends are getting him into trouble and are bad influences and pickin' up chicks! As long as you're going out with him & his freinds there should be no problems talk to eachother about what is allowed and what is not!
Just relax and go with the flow if it's too much to handle get out now someone else will understand your needs better then he. Don't take all the blame for the problems in your relationship it takes two and remember commitment and marriage is for the mature and honest!
2006-09-12 08:20:57 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are the two of you and how many relationships have you had?
It sounds like he is not completely serious about you. It's one thing to enjoy hanging out with your buddies and to plan to make time to do it, but if he were really truly serious about you, he would instinctively balance the time out between you and his friends (assuming it's guy friends).
Without knowing more about the situation, all I can say is that he doesn't sound like he is ready to be in a real adult relationship. Maybe he is not as into you as you are into him. Or maybe this was the type of relationship that was modeled to him by other males while he was growing up. If you really think he's serious about you, then you can talk about this, but be sure to do it gently. Just keep in mind, he does need some time alone with his buddies (just as you need time alone with your girlfriends).
If he gives you any crap about hearing your feelings, or if he tries to make you feel like you are wrong and he is right, then dump him right there because he needs to learn how to be in a relationship. If he doesn't fix his problem then eventually you will suffer because you'll go through the same issues again (not only that but his self-centeredness will come out in other ways too).
Don't settle for anything less than the best. Life is too short. There are a lot of other guys out there who know how to treat you right.
2006-09-12 08:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by falkon81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gotta keep the communication between the two of you honest and open. Don't let things get built up on your side, they get worse that way, think of it like a volcano. When something is bothering you, like him going out with his other friends, tell him that you wished he'd hand out with you more, and talk with him about how you are both feeling. If you are more honest and open with him, it'll not only make your relationship alot healthier, but he'll probably feel like he'd be able to open up more with you as well. An idea when he is out with his friends, is to call up one of your girlfriends and have a girls night, and then you wont be thinking about what he's up to with out you as much. Remember its always good to keep in touch with your friends while you are dating, cause they will always be there for you, and I hate to say it, but guys come and go, so don't depend on just your boyfriend, know what I mean? And let him have some time with his other friends as well, doesn't mean that he loves or cares about you any less.
2006-09-12 08:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by Hannah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend and i go through this all the time (6 years together and 2 years living together). When i do stuff like that it is always a problem, but he acts like he is exempt. So if you guys are like us and he complains about the same as you, use how he acts when you do stuff to show him how it feels. It works but it doesn't make it stop. It just works better than bitching
2006-09-12 08:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well getting back together this soon is not going to change anything. I think that you both should take some time apart. Then when and if you are to get back together you both will know that your relationship is worth it. Sometimes getting back together right away, you are never able to tell whether or not it is for real or just to save the hassell of listening to the other one be hurt.
2006-09-12 08:16:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that men do need their space, just like we do! Sometimes it's hard to get out a negative cycle (like bitching about stuff). It might help to see a counselor to help you work on your own issues, so that you can be happier. Also, when he spends time with friends, go out with your friends and have a good time! I'm married and do so - I think it's good for my relationship. You have to be balanced after all!
2006-09-12 08:13:35 · answer #7 · answered by natureutt78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got two words for ya ,
Comunication , Sacrifice
If I had a lady{ I'm presently divorced} that would say ok spend some time with your friend then I'd say that's a sacrifice.
So I'd better be prepared to make a sacrifice to her, maybe take her to dinner or take a day off and spend it haveing fun with her or something.
2006-09-12 08:21:46 · answer #8 · answered by John P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this friend male or female? If male, I'd be a little nervous too because males seem to need to uphold the ego thing and they become male chaeuvanists. (excuse the spelling). They are very hard to get along with. I wouldn't waste another 2 years just to find out that you really can't get along.
2006-09-12 08:15:55 · answer #9 · answered by Cutie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's like this. Everybody even yourself likes a little time to their self.Such as going to the mall or something with your girl friends. If your together all the time you start smothering each other. Let him do the calling for making the date with you. If it isn't frequent enough for you then you need to move on.
2006-09-12 08:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by xeson1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋