i'm 25 yrs old and have been in my relationship for 6 yrs. I can't ever imagine hurting him, but i feel like it's not working anymore. he knows i'm no longer physically attracted to him and he promises to get in shape and see if my feeling change, yet he has not taken any action. i feel ashamed/shallow for even sharing that but i think it might help. i started working 4 a company about 2 yrs and became interested in my coworker (call him M). M is in excellent shape and responsible. I get the feeling that he is interested in me 2, but never made a move cause he knows im taken. about a year into my job my guy started working with me in the same room with me and M. i decided that it's best for all if i just forget about M. that is easier said than done as i seem to be falling deeper. i feel like there is no way out of my current relationship-we work together and share all the same friends, but i can't help or get over my feelings for M, who im not even sure feels the same way 4 me. help.
2006-09-12 08:10:16 · 12 answers · asked by frustrated 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You've been in a relationship for 6 years and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I suspect his physical appearance isn't the problem. It may be that the two of you have grown apart in other ways that are harder to see.
Whatever you decide to do, be sure to break up with your bf first and then wait a few months at least before dating someone else.
2006-09-12 08:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by booktender 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain girl =)))
I was in your shoes 5 years ago. I was 25 back then and had 5 years relationship going on. I had the same problem. I was falling for another guy, but couldn't imagine hurting my boyfriend. I was so unhappy and so desperate. Finally I decided that I have to take action if I want to be happy and alive again, so... I told my boyfriend that we should separate for a while. I though that this will be a shock for him, but actually he was cool with the idea. WE NEVER SAW EACH OTHER AGAIN. I was very hard, very very hard, but after a while I was back on my feet and had new friends, moved to a new city, changed my job and found the man of my dreams.
So my advise is - BE HAPPY. Do what your heart is telling you to do. Find the true love, the one that you won't live without. Be brave. Start anew and I am sure that the things will work out for you.
2006-09-12 08:22:00 · answer #2 · answered by pipilota75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 21 years old and have been with the same man for 6 years, so I understand what you are going through.
Sometimes when we feel unsatisfied or bored in a relationship, we want to spice things up. Many people do this by finding interest with someone else...but I've learned that this is not the best option. You should try to rekindle what you have with your boyfriend by maybe taking a trip somewhere, or going out more often with him. When you love someone, their outward appearance does not matter as much as what is within...and I'm sure that deep down, you know that already. Once you feel more in love with your boyfriend, you feel attracted to him again whether or not he's lost his pot belly.
M is probably not going to be any better for you than your current boyfriend, he is just a way for you to add some excitement to your life.
Also, it is important to have your own identity in a relationship...always make sure there are some things that you do completely on your own. Have your own set of friends, your own hobbies, your own interests...make sure there are thing that you enjoy doing either alone or with people other than your boyfriend. Good luck to you!
2006-09-12 08:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by alliekittie18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is exactly what was happening to me. I am 26 we were together 6 years he gained alot of weight. A size 38 to a 52. He didn't care about his appearance(now he's skinny again). He was a sloppy dresser and I got tired of being his mother and friend not his wife. I fell in love with someone at work. He treats me like gold. I love him so much. Sometimes we have to hurt others in order to be happy. I wasn't happy when I left him and he drank all the time, but for the first time in six years i needed to do for me. If you are that unhappy change it. You only live once.
As for the coworker .You don't have to necessarily leave because of him but it shows there are other fish in the sea and you deserve to be happy
2006-09-12 08:22:59 · answer #4 · answered by Raineybaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dang I feel kinda the same way. I'm in a relationship but I'm crazy about a married woman I see all the time. She's NEVER with her husband. I can tell she feels trapped. I am dying to come up to her and tell her how I feel but I just never get any alone time with her to do so. I also would hate it if I am wrong. I cannot afford the drama of her telling her husband that another guy has a crush on her. I don't think she would but I don't know for sure.
She has given me some hints that she likes me but I they are very subtle hints (smiles, waving to me all the time, being shy around me when she is up close, going out of her way to walk past me at the gym etc.). She makes my heart skip a beat every time she smiles at me but I need MORE than that. What I really wish she would do is come out and at least ask me about my personal life. She knows I'm single. I wish she would say.....so do you have a girlfriend? Have you met anyone you like yet? I need her to give me a clear opening to let her know more details that could lead us to becoming more intimate friends. Altough, for the record, I would never have an affair with a married woman. she would have to seperate from him first.
That would be my advice to you. Ask him questions about his personal life. During this you might also give hints about how your personal life too if he asks. If he's interested he will appreciate that you're giving him an opening to become more intimate with you.
2006-09-12 08:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by hardbodied_romantic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First if the relationship is over I think you both need a break. Search out your feelings and see if it can be saved or if it is time to move on. You both are still young so take this seriously but I would not want to be in a relationship going nowhere. Good Luck to all.
2006-09-12 08:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship like that . and ended up i wasn't looking for anyone but just comfortable in knowing i had someone to be there when needed it . but we both didn't love eachother anymore though it was only 2yrs. but if you dream about having a family of your own and moving on inlife but not with him or see yourself in a day to day life every moment spent with this guy then you need to end it fast.
If you do see yourself with him in the long run then you both have to give and take some. you can't expect him to change cause no one is totally perfect. maybe he's waiting for you to change too in a way.
But the longer you hold this off the chances of MR. right coming along it will be too late. and for him too.
so have a heart to heart talk tell him honestly i don't see myself in you . or can imagine waking up every morning with you bye my side so we need to end it . and leave it at that . give your heart time to mend and move on before rushing into another relationship doesn't mean you have to give up totally up.
but don't rush love will find you and you will find love.
2006-09-12 08:22:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! it relatively is stressful. you're pregnant and you will desire to attend 18 years to get out of this depressing dating. try counseling and get him contain. If issues do no longer substitute, concentration on your self and the youngsters like taking classes, getting a pastime, determining on the period in-between. Dreaming some better dating won't help your contemporary subject. shelter it. Tie your tube so which you will no longer get pregnant back perhaps it extremely is your first step. i be attentive to the way it feels to be lonely in a dating. Been there, completed that, by no potential do it back. I continually think of i'd particularly be on my own than being lonely in a dating.
2016-09-30 21:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't attracted to him anymore and you can't work things out.. then leave him. There's no reason in sticking to a dead relationship. The feelings are gone and so should he. If I were you I'd wait and not jump back into another relationship. Give yourself time to think and be on your own. Good luck.
2006-09-12 08:13:22 · answer #9 · answered by kvsmiller 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about M. Get out of your relationship before you waste more of your youth on it. (was there once!)
You've out grown each other, time to move on and be with someone you're attracted to and have more it common with.
Good luck! These situations suck....
2006-09-12 08:13:52 · answer #10 · answered by Krn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋