Jet Set and average Joe? Can this work?

Question

I am a sgwm 40yo and I live in Kansas City. I earn a decent salary just over $50k and I do ok. I have to save money to take vacations, and live on a budget. I am simple country/cowboy type guy not into all the thrills and frills of a material world.

I have recently met a very nice man. He’s Canadian and 34yo. He is very handsome and makes me laugh. He is a good hearted person. However we come from different ends of the track. His earnings are several times what I earn. He has 2 personal assistants, a driver here in town. He lives the high life of spas, personal trainers and such. He jets off for his work to any number of metro areas and meets people like Madonna after their concerts with back stage or private parties.

Now he and I really do get along well, and so far the money and lifestyle differences haven’t been a HUGE issue at least here in KC. However, the other day he hinted at flying off to LA for some big opening. Heck yeah I would like to go, but not on my budget. If he offered to pay for the flight, hotel and such, yeah I could go. However then my pride gets in the way. Plus there is cost of a clothing for this event. I was told wear my wranglers a cool western shirt and I would fit in. He told me to be myself, he likes me that way. That in itself was a relief.

Now comes my PRIDE. I have always paid my own way in this world. My bills are paid, and most everything I have is as well. How can this work? Anyone been in a similar situation have any advice?

Answer 1

In times past I've met people who had tons of money and you wouldn't know it, just by their down to earth attitudes. Some of the most lonely people in the world are the wealthy and famous. It's hard for them, because so many others kiss up for favors. They are challenged with individuals who may only like them for their connections. Be that as it may; you're a very nice guy. Perhaps money isn't a factor in his heart.

Maybe in his mind; he's happy to take care and share his fortune with someone, he cares about. Don't let your pride stop you and he from having a wonderful time. BTW, when he indicated for you to wear your wranglers and cool western shirt; he was telling you the truth. I live in Southern California and trust me; we have cowboys and everything else. Yes you would fit right in. One more thing, don't lose yourself in the midst of his good nature or wealth; remember who you are and remember that's what attracts him to you.

Answer 2

I am in a similar situation My partner is a world renowned Classical violist in a large metropolitan symphony. I am a mountain man from the Appalachian Mountains. Yet here we are in a covenant together. He travels in educated circles and knows what high society means. I on the other hand have never flown in an air plane in my life. He is cultured and refined and I am rough and tumbled I bet if he has ever been on a horse it was an English style saddle Me I grew up with quarter horses ridding western style and going to the rodeo. Wagon trains and horse shows where how I spent my summers. He went to music camps and spent the time practicing his musical vocation. He holds graduate degrees and I was lucky to get my bachelors. Two more different people could not be found on this wide earth yet here we are. I can't say how it will work out for us but at the moment I am the happiest I have ever been. I am sure you will work it out true love conquers all.

Answer 3

Well, it can work. The only thing would be the "pride" issue. I'm sure that he understands that your income levels aren't the same and you can't compete in that way with him. If he wants you to go, I'd think that not only would he pay for the flight but also provide what you didn't have to make the situation "comfortable" for both of you.
Accepting things that aren't necessarily part of your lifestyle as a gift is one thing, it isn't as if he is attempting to "buy" you. There will be situations where the tables are turned and you'll be able to do the same for him(simply by knowing what is appropriate).

Answer 4

Hey, if picking up the tab for extravagance really means nothing to him, get over your pride. There's a big difference between being able to care for yourself, sucking off others, and recognizing money doesn't mean much beyond a necessity to make your own way in the world. You are making your own way in the world, so don't get hung up on the rest. He's got bucks to burn and probably doesn't have many guys he likes who can live that same high life. If he turns money into an issue, bail. Otherwise, go for the ride, have fun, and enjoy your new guy. Cheers!

Answer 5

You know I have read several of your questions and answers you always seem like such a nice upstanding guy. Obviously this fella feels this way also. And I imagine he knows there are some financial differences in your incomes. As long as he offers and you want to go I see no reason to stay behind. This should not hurt your pride, you are not using him in any way. If he wants your company and you want his PLEASE go and have a good time. Don't let something as trivial as money stand in the way of a good relationship.

Answer 6

Talk to him, he must know that you are a simple man. Explain to him exactly what you are feeling. He make above average money and he must have been in this situation before.. He might appreciate it if you bring it up so he doesn't feel you would ever take advantage of him.... If he likes you as much as he states it wouldn't be a problem... Just tell him, I cant live beyond my means. Maybe you'll have to pass this time... anyway talk about it..

Answer 7

Tighten up your belt buckle cowboy .... ain't nothing like being a kept man !!!! Yeee Hawwww !!!

Answer 8

wow! it sounds too good to be true KS
go for it!