I am 26 and I am engaged to be married in July. I love my fiance but I find myself being very attracted to other men. I do not know if this means I should not be getting married or if I am just having the good old cold feet?
2006-09-12 06:33:48 · 39 answers · asked by ncl_dhrrr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Be straightforward and discuss it with your fiance...
2006-09-12 06:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am engaged and the past weeks I have weird thoughts like that and my wedding is in 8 weeks. I think it's just cold feet, for I don't want to exchange him for anyone in the world. Getting married is a definite decision and takes you out of the market. If you start loosing interest in your fiance(e) and more in the others than start wondering if you want to continue.
2006-09-12 06:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no shame in finding other people attractive. We as a species have something called willpower. Sure the coffee guy is hot, but you have the intelligence to think about the future, and the werewithal to remember that your fiancee loves you for who you are and wants to spend his life with you. We have the ability to choose which of these scenarios is correct.
We all look at attractive people, even those that have been married a long time, even those who are in love. I'd bet any amount of money that your fiancee finds himself very attracted to other women as well. This is what comittment is all about.
2006-09-12 06:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married. If you feel this way before marriage, you'll feel this way after marriage. Having cold feet does not necessarily include being attracted to other men. You're not ready to settle down with only one man. You still want to play the field.
2006-09-12 06:36:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is natural to be attracted to other people it is human nature but if you really love the one you are engaged to then it will make no difference in your relationship is is a good thing and when you think about how long does the attraction last? I am attracted to other men sometimes but then i think about my hubby and how much i love him and soon i realize that the other guy is just like any other guy out there. Don't worry about it if you love your hunny things will be OK
2006-09-12 07:11:56 · answer #5 · answered by peanut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like either you aren't really in love or you aren't ready for commitment. When you fall in love you may think other guys are cute but you shouldn't be VERY attracted to them. I love my husband dearly and I never think about being with someone else. If I see a cute guy on the street, that's all it is. Make sure you know what you want. It would be a tragedy to marry this guy and then cheat on him later.
2006-09-12 06:37:20 · answer #6 · answered by 1big teddy graham 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are still looking then you should not get married. In the beginning of a true love that endures, you would not give much thought (after a few moments) to anyone you encounter other than your intended. Everyone looks, but it is how you react or act when you see an attractive person that matters.
2006-09-12 06:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a big step and it is not rare that you will have thoughts about others. You want to know for yourself that the person you are marrying is the one for you. Don't throw away your relationship because of this. If you had serious problems with not getting along with you fiance that is a different story.
2006-09-12 06:36:47 · answer #8 · answered by drunken monkey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to say that you should get out while you can, because as humans, we are incapable of truly feeling monogamous. Mammals rarely have the same partner twice, so it becomes unnatural for us to think of only that one person for the rest of our lives. It's completely normal to have urges and desires towards people other than those that you're with, guaranteed, they've got the same feelings too, it's just that they don't share them. It doesn't make you a bad person, and definitely doesn't make you not ready for marraige. Now actually being monogamous is possible, but like I said, the urges aren't, so I wouldn't worry, as long as you don't plan on acting on them, you're fine.
2006-09-12 07:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by Donnie H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations, you are a human being. Don't worry about being attracted to others its when you act on it that its a problem. Your fiance is like those other men execpt for the thing that sets him apart, the reason you love him. Don't feel guilty, when your not looking he is checking out other girls in the park.
2006-09-12 06:38:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should take a break. I think that might be a sign that there is someone better out there for you. When you think of your fiance do you feel butterflies? or have a tingly feeling inside? If not, I dont think he is the one for you. Dont get married if arent sure. It will only lead to a ugly divorice. Best of luck!
2006-09-12 06:36:56 · answer #11 · answered by an14341991 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋