Ok The Man I am living with and have been for seven months now, has been coming home later, and not wanting to have sex, always has somewhere to go after work. He has a stressfull job and after this was happening for about three weeks I asked what was wrong he says he is just stressed, that it is not me and that he loves me but then I kept getting the same answers and he never takes his phone in the bathroom and one night after all this had been going on he took it in the bathroom with him, so when he came out and put it in the bedroom I looked at it to see if maybe it was another girl. I found a number with text messages so I called it and it was his ex girlfriend I asked her why she has been texting him and she hung up. He then got really mad at me and said that I shouldn't have called her at 12:00 at night and if I would have called during the day she wouldn't have hung up. So I called the next day and she hasn't called me back. Should I be worried?
2006-09-12 06:02:33 · 23 answers · asked by heart2heart27958 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok I have talked to him about it he says he loves me and doesn't want me to leave at all and that she is just a friend, but he keeps his phone attached to him goes outside when it rings, I even called her the next day and she wouldn't call me back. About the sex thing he says he has no answers for???? And if he did he would change them. I mean almost everyday he doesn't get home until about 8:30 when I am done with the kids and they are ready for bed, he has a daughter that is there and I do everything and I work a full time job as well. I have asked him does he want me to leave and just to tell me and he keeps saying no but nothing changes. Also all over the house are pictures I find when I am cleaning of when they were together?? What should I do? I really need answers! Oh and I normally don't look at peoples suff unless I have a reason! I wouldn't want anyone to do that to me but if I gave them a reason then........
2006-09-12 06:25:26 · update #1
All of you are saying what I already feel in my heart...... It's just hard when you love someone!It's just the more I try and talk with him or say anything , nothing gets done about it. But he treats my children very, very well but me he treats me like he knows I am not going anywhere and acts like he is listening and trys to tell me that it was ludisuious that I called her that late at night that other women would have waited until the next morning to call. I moved here to be with him????? Now I know I am not ugly by all means and I have friends that would date me in a minnute but how do you know for sure if he keeps saying nothing is going on?
2006-09-12 06:45:01 · update #2
What would I do? I would tell him the next time he does anything remotely questionable that he needs to take his stuff with him.
I would tell him that if he doesn't like being around me anymore or having sex with me, and there isn't a medical problem, that he should just be on his way.
Anytime a woman allows a man to treat her this way she is teaching him that it is okay and this treatment will continue.
If you don't like the way someone is treating you, then you need to sit them down and explain clearly what is happening and how it is making you feel. If the behavior doesn't change and immediately, then its time to either leave, or set that person to the curb.
Would you allow anyone else to treat you this way? No, I don't think you would, and he is no different. You may love this person , but they obviously DONT love you anymore. If they did, they wouldn't even think of doing these things to you.
You need to take back your power and deal with this and him immediately. Never make idle threats, if you do, this behavior will continue. Never tell him that you will end the relationship if you arent ready to do just that and mean it.
You need to decide whether you like yourself enough to demand that your "partner" treat you well and if they don't, end it and find someone who will.
You teach people how to treat you, and if they don't learn it, move on and don't look back.
best of luck to you
J
2006-09-12 06:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by frankly2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack your things and be moved out before he gets home! That's what I would do! You already know the truth that he and she are texting eachother, he lied about it and he's coming home later and later what more do you need, it's only been 7 mos. get out now it will hurt less it is a fairly new realtionship be happy you found out really how he is before you spent anymore time on this joker!
She has no reason to be contacting him! If it's over it's over and he has no right answering to her no matter what the reason is! Where his commitment to you and wheres his respect for you???
Farther more he had no right being angry at you! He's guilty! Go figure! You are the one that should be angry and has a right to be, don't be a fool or think he isn't going to do it again he shouldn't have done this to begin with, this is a new relationship and he's broken the trust!! Are you going to stick around for more this time you found out but next time you might not!
Get out or you'll be sorry!
Good Luck!!!
2006-09-12 13:31:54 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel really bad for you. He is not treating you the right way. Pictures of the two of them should not be around.
My best friend was cheating on her sort of boyfriend(she told him that she didn't want to date just him). Anyways he used to throw fits because she would never take her phone into his house, just leaving it in her car. She did that because she didn't want him to know that she was still talking to her ex. So yea, I think he is talking to her more than he should be. Just remember that if he has to hide something, then that something is not a good thing.
2006-09-12 13:36:43 · answer #3 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worried? No. Mad? Yes.... because he's deliberately deceiving you.
Sounds as if your guy friend has some issues he needs to work on, so sit him down and demand the truth about what's really going on. You shouldn't be left to wonder about this. Be direct, insist on honest answers from him and then you'll be better able to make a decision based on what he tells you...
You deserve his full commitment, so if he's unable (or unwilling) to give you that, you might be better off without him.
Good luck.
2006-09-12 13:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by Aly D. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont trust him obviously if you feel the need to go snooping. You are lucky he didnt dump you right then b/c if I was a guy you would have been finding somewhere to stay that night and coming to get your sh** the next day. You dont snoop through peoples things and you most definitely dont call the numbers on their phone.
2006-09-12 13:06:35 · answer #5 · answered by Smart Ranger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it is over for you unless you are OK with sharing. Maybe his ex also has reasons for having to be discreet. If things don't change between you now after this 'conflict' you should prepare to be on the market again.
2006-09-12 13:08:50 · answer #6 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Extremely worried. You two need to talk. Regardless of how stressful his job is, your needs need to be met. Just like you need to be meeting his needs. And you need to trust each other. Lying and sneaking around is not trusting each other. SIT DOWN AND TALK TO HIM find out his feelings, gather all your information and make a decision to stay or leave. But think about it take two days after you two talk about it. It is a big decision, but don't allow this to go on.
2006-09-12 13:06:33 · answer #7 · answered by loladoreen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets see . . . . changes in routine, later hours, no sex, bathroom phone calls, secret texts from ex, angry at you for calling her . . . . . I wouldn't "worry" about losing a guy like that . . . .I'd just lose him. He is being very sneaky for someone who says he loves you and has nothing to hide. I'm sorry but, "Actions speak louder than words"
2006-09-12 13:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by worldhq101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to your man about his ex.Ask him if he relay miss her?Then if he said yes you should make rules down for him.He is liven at your place not his.Wright?Then if you can start going out with your friends.Try not to worry about things so much.Try and have a great night.
2006-09-12 13:10:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worried? No. You should be leaving soon. The forest is right there where all the trees are. Find a new guy. Good luck.
2006-09-12 13:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by Sausage Fingers™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋