cheered up! Could be long-ish or short stories. Here's something I found hysterical: A friend told me the other day, his (now ex-) wife asked him to leave for a few hours and while he was gone, she took her share of everything. She even took HALF the coffee pot (the filter parts), LOL!
2006-09-12 05:58:08 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sure you are going to hear alot of funny stories. Alot of people have been in your shoes and what wasn't so funny back then, is now hysterical. I've sat in on several divorces and here a few I remeber quite vividly even to this day.
One couple going through a divorce, were bitterly fighting over placement of the children. The mediator involved suggested they have dinner together and try to resolve some issues before their next court date. Oh and have dinner they did. The wife cooked! She made BBQ and never cooked the hamburger meat first...just mixed in the mamwhich and heated it up some. Long story short, hubby got incredibly sick, ended up in the hospital and also ended up with the children.
On another case, a husband cheated on his wife. She filed for divorce and they were bickering in court over getting half of everything. She kicked him out without letting him take his clothes. During the last court hearing the judge ordered that he be allowed to get the rest of his personal belongings. The man showed up to pick them up and the crotches of all his pants and shorts had been cut out. He took her back to court and wanted reimbursement. The wife, smart as she was, brought in the scrap material and handed it back to the husband in front of the judge. When he asked for compensation, the judge simply told him that he could sew the crotches back on, and while doing it, he should remind himself to keep it in his pants...because everything has a price in life.
There is also the women who cheated on her husband with a handsome co-worker. She appeared to be so in love that when it came time for the divorce, she had the audacity to bring this man to court with her. Now her life, from what I heard wasn't too bad to begin with, her husband was kind, giving and loving, he just wasn't rating that high on the "looks" meter. On their final court day, the husband showed up, as well as the wife...but her new man did not. While listening to the comments in the hall, I'd overheard that he was in the hospital and horribly disfigured due to a chemical accident. Not funny, but rather ironic.
And if you think these are bad, you should consider the cases of people that fight over visitation of a pet. I swear some of them just get ridiculous.
I'm sorry for what you are going through honey. I can't imagine what it's like, but I do know that eventually it's going to get better and before you know it, you'll have some of your own funny stories to share! I wish you the best!
2006-09-12 06:20:01 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you're a woman, but I remember when my soon 2 B ex wife first saw a pic of then girlfriend (and eventually new wife - no, the new gf was not the cause of the divorce) my soon 2 B ex said " Wow she's young....Wow, shes' blonde.... Man, she's tall....God, she's got beautiful hands..." She then realized what she was saying, the look on her face was priceless. Also the day we finaled the divorce I told her in public and rather loudly that she never could f_ck worth a damn...(she couldn't). You can use this last phrase on your eventual x especially if you see him with his friends or his new gf.
2006-09-12 14:13:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My divorce was pretty bitter, when we were in metiation with our attorney's fighting over who got what it actually got down to he got the freezer but I got the contents of the freezer. It's been 5 yrs now since the divorce and I am remarried. It wasn't so funny going through it but now I can laugh about it! Keep your chin up, this too shall pass!!!
2006-09-12 13:12:32 · answer #3 · answered by MandaSue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex did not want to get divorced, but instead of contesting it through the courts, he just failed to respond. I had to file for default dissolution, which means that I thought I should be granted the divorce without the ex's participation. The ex was served with that paperwork, and actually had the nerve to tell me that he was indeed going to show up to court that day and fight. He then asked me to pick him up and bring him to court for the default dissolution trial! Idiot! Like I'd seriously take bring his butt to court so that he could argue against me after I'd paid all that money for lawyers and court fees!
He called me that day, and said he was disappointed in me for "playing dirty", because I did not pick him up for court. I LMAO because I thought "gee, that's funny that you should finally for once be disappointed, welcome to my world!"
Oh, and I did indeed ask for custody of my two dogs, which people tend to think is pretty funny.
2006-09-12 13:47:15 · answer #4 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When i found out my ex husband was cheating on me Befor i left I took every left shoe he had and took it with me...lol Now that was fun
2006-09-12 13:15:18 · answer #5 · answered by ?Whiskey Girl? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a friend of mine filed for divorce from his wife, they had a poodle, the man went to his attorney and told him he wanted custody of their child, age nine, names fifi, and when his wife and he went to court, the wife told the judge they did not have a child, fifi was a poodle...the judge was soo mad at the man , gave him 6 months for disrespecting the court and waste of the courts time... i thought he deserved it
2006-09-12 13:13:29 · answer #6 · answered by churchonthewayseniors 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The night my husband got kicked out I wanted to yell "Hope you didn't take my vibrator!" out the window at him as he was pulling out but I was good:)
2006-09-12 13:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by sasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋