sexual harrassment?

Question

i work with a 54 yr old married woman.
she is very loving, but her attentions are unwanted and irritating.
she has to hug everyone, rub a pregnant co-workers belly(its unwanted ,but she is too nice to tell her!), she runs her nails along my arm. rubs backs, !!! it makes me sick. ive told her to stop. she says i need to get used to being hugged!! i say , no! u need to respect my personal space!
she stops ,then 2 days later, it starts!! isnt this sexual harrassment? to all of us?
can u send me a link that shows this specific form of it?
she isnt gay, (i dont think) just loves hugs and hugging etc.
as a child she may have been abused. but iam sorry i dont want the touches.
she isnt my husband, daughter etc or close friend. help me.

Answer 1

Hug her back,, and see how far you can take this?

Answer 2

Okay!!! WOW!!! This is a bad position to be in. Shae may be old fashioned and we all know that over affectionate people are considered almost dangerous in this day and age. If you already asked her to stop and explained that you like your personal space (I can feel for you I cannot stand touchy feely people) THen the next step would be to present your supervisor or management with your concerns. If you are management then take her aside and explain that even though you know she has good intentions you need to let her know that is not appropriate behavior at work and it makes some people incomfortable. It may be harmless mothering, but you are not comfortable with it and neither are other people within the working walls. But yes on a legal ground it is harrassement. Sexual Harrasement is described as unwanted and unsolicited touching, remarks and propositions

Answer 3

Nice or not, you have the right to set your personal space boundaries. Being nice isn't an excuse or worse....a license to mistreat people. If she is functioning in a job and in society then she must also be expected to function along with the standard rules we all (sort of) live by for the harmony of everyone.

Simply, politely (and I know you'd be polite because I read what you wrote about yourself on your page) tell her that you prefer NOT to be touched, caressed or messed with in a physical manner. That she's a very nice person, you enjoy her company, and like talking to her and all, but the incessant touching makes you uncomfortable and it's got to stop.

She may be too nice for you not to say something, but she apparently doesn't feel you are too nice to not just come up and start handling like a fresh loaf of bread and make you uncomfortable.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Girl, you need to talk to HR. They will be so scared of a sexual harassment suit, they will set her straight. You need to document all the times she touches you, what you say to her and what she says to you, who witness it, what you have told management, when, etc... If after a month, you see no change, write a nice memo to the big boss and say, a sexual harrassment issue is being ignored and it is completely interfering with you r ability to work. And you will need to take further steps if this does not change. Trust me, they will. And it they dont, find a lawyer who will be very happy you already have don e the preliminary work for a suit. Good luck

Answer 5

Write an anonymous letter stating that everyone in the office / section feels that her unwelcomed displays of warmth are considered forms of sexual harassment and you all would like for her to refrain from hugs, back rubs, belly rubs... all of it. Conclude that if her behavior doesn't stop, one of you will file a formal complaint with HR.

Answer 6

That is a tough one. I am like you I don't like being touched and that would drive me crazy. I can't believe you told her to stop and she wont. That's unbelievable! Can you sit down with the boss and her and tell them both that you appreciate her friendliness but it is disturbing to you and you want it to stop. If it doesn't I would check to see if you can file a complaint with the corporate office of the company. How do the others feel about her. Her generation is a very huggy group. Check out this site below and I hope it helps. You don't have to feel bad about anything that happened to her. But you do have the right to your own personal space and privacy. Good luck.

Answer 7

First, document all dates and times. Then, have management pass out a memo banning unwanted physical contact. Have the memo state that the consequences of such actions would result in a formal hearing, along with the possibility of termination because such actions will not be tolerated.

Answer 8

Talk with Human Resources right away about her touching you. I would tell Human Resources to act on it now before you punch her lights out if she does it again.
I would also make a point to tell this woman again to keep her hands off of you and that you don't care if she's a touchy feely person or not - that your not !
If that doesn't work, grab her fingers the next time she reaches for you and bend them backwards till they snap - that should work.

Answer 9

Two options, the first option is next time when she comes near you to give you a hug, fart silently. The smell will make her think twice before hugging you next time. The second option is , stop taking bath for a few days and make yourself really smelly specially around your armpits and hug her. I bet, she will never hug you again. If she starts hugging you again then apply both options at once. This will definitely work. Goodluck

Answer 10

i'd pull her off to the side or make an appointment with her and explain full out why it is not appreciated and explain to her that you don't want to come across as threatening but that man of her employees or coworkers are bothered by her touching them. If it continues, file a formal complaint of some sort. You shouldn't have to put up with someone else's well problems and make yourself uncomfortable to spare their feelings.

Answer 11

while the harassment turns into sexual, it rather is sexual harassment. Touching, innuendo, gestures, puppy names, seems, and so on... you could surely tell while somebody is putting off a violent vibe as against a sexual vibe, or while they're putting out the two.