Okay my ex and I broke up the day that i conceived. well he has a new "girl friend" and is avoiding the whole pregnancy. I am sixteen he is eighteen. Well he told me he was going to take full custody of the baby and try to prove me unfit just because I am young. When the baby is born who gets sole custody? The mother or father, or both? I know it changes from state to state, but I live in Ohio. I dont want to loose my baby, I already lost the ex that I love. And He told me if I contact him at all he is pressing charges on me. What do I do? How should I handle it, and Who gets custody? Please help me someone!
2006-09-12 05:40:06 · 36 answers · asked by Help Me Pleaze 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
And No i am not getting rid of my kid. I will graduate by the time its born. I am sixteen and a senior, he is 18 and a freshman. So no I will not do that. Sorry! I love my child to death!
2006-09-12 05:43:13 · update #1
And In the state of Ohio. The consent age is 16. So he will not get charged. Parents all know. But I need help with te custody question. who gets it when the baby is born?
2006-09-12 05:44:33 · update #2
Thank you for everyone trying to help!
2006-09-12 05:45:33 · update #3
Okay I live at home with my mother, mystep dad, my sister and my brother. We have a four bedroom house. Big! And I am working on relationship wit my mom so she can help me more. I am attending school but should graduate by the time the baby is born. I start online collge classes in January. And I just got a job at Kmart. I thin k I am fit?
2006-09-12 05:48:27 · update #4
LOOK EVERYONE WILL YOU ADD ME ON MYSPACE IF YOU HAVE IT ..MY MYSPACE IS SWEETBABE2005@GMAIL.COM I HAVE A BLOG THAT EXPLAINS MORE AND YOU CAN COMMENT IT FOR ME PLEASE! IT WILL HELP ME
2006-09-12 06:05:01 · update #5
I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THE HELP. IT CALMED ME ALOT, THANKS ALOT EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-12 06:31:16 · update #6
You do.. he has to prove he is the father.. then.. if he wants to pursue it.. he has to take you to court.. rarely will a father be granted custody.. because of what he thinks.. it has to be what he knows..
2006-09-12 05:44:47 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You tell him if he doesn't want statutory rape charges taken out on him by you and your parents he had better back off. The mother is most likely awarded the child as she carried it around for 9 months and is usually bonded in some form. If he already has a new girlfriend and is not being supportive of the pregnancy then I know of no court that would give him full custody of the child. He would be in titled to visitation rights, but that is only if he pays child support. I don't think that you have very much that you have to worry about. Good luck with your new baby and your life. I also know from experience that there is someone out there just for you and your baby and when the time is right he will come along. Be patient and in the mean time try not to get pregnant again.
2006-09-12 05:51:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paternity needs to be established before your ex can even consider custody. If he does not sign the birth certificate, then there will have to be a paternity test done. It is very hard to prove someone an unfit mother, they will not just take his word for it, there would have to be proof. Just because you are only 16 does not make you a bad mother, I was sixteen when I had my first child. It is a long hard role to take on, but if you are mature enough, it can be done. You have to realize that the baby comes before anything else, including yourself. As long as you remember that and remember that every choice you make from now on effects your child as well as you, then you will be fine. As far as the father, I would look into getting a lawyer if he pursues the custody issue. Good luck.
2006-09-12 05:57:21 · answer #3 · answered by mcdougal8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually they benefit the mother more than the father. But if he isn't there for you when you're pregnant than how will he be there when the baby is born (You could have so many complications during pregnancy and for him not to even call to check up to make sure everything is all right that alone is neglect!!) Just because you're young it's not impossible to finish your dreams. I'm 19 (I know 3 yrs older) but it's still hard I go to a university so going back in the fall was way hard especially in the field i was in i couldn't miss any days (cosmetology). So instead I'm doing on-line business school at night and working 8-5 Mon-Fri to keep up with my bills and bills to come. GOOD LUCK!!! just don't give him a reason to say you're unfit.
2006-09-12 05:53:23 · answer #4 · answered by britt3m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now he is all talk because there is nothing he can do while you are pregnant. Eventually you may need to enlist the help of a lawyer, but for now, keep a diary of what he says to you and keep any phone messages for evidence of his threats and attitude towards you. Keep track of all the things you are doing for your baby right now, going to doctor's appointments, buying pre-natal vitamins, buying healthy food, purchasing baby items, getting a job to save up money. When you have a doctor's appointment, let your ex know the date, time, and place. Send him an e-mail or send him a note (certified mail is great because someone has to sign for it thus leaving a paper trail) and do not contact him any further than that. This will show a judge that you attempted to keep him connected to the baby if the case goes to court. If you have a safe place to take the baby after birth and you are not abusing the baby, he will find it nearly impossible to take the baby with full custody. At some point in time you may be advised to say you are not sure who the baby's father is to push your ex into having a paternity test done. Most likely he will end up having to pay child support and will probably have visitation times. If you can get a voice mail or an answering machine message or an e-mail that has him saying he will take the baby from you, your lawyer will have good grounds to require supervised visits for your ex and the baby as he will have proved himself capable of taking the baby. You are young and need all the support of your family and friends that you can get. It is a tough road to be a parent when in a loving, stable, secure marriage. Being a young single mom is extremely difficult, but can be done. He will have to prove you unfit first before he can attempt to take full custody. Do you have a good relationship with any of your ex's relatives? If so, you would be wise to keep up contact with them, too, so you will have allies on both sides of the baby's family. Sounds like you are trying to do all the right things. Depending on what type of community you live in, you may have resources designed for teen moms. Take parenting classes that are offered, infant CPR, or anything else that will show that you are doing all you can for this baby. Ask a lot of questions and ask for help. No one is going to come knocking on your door to give you the help you need. Ask your high school counselor, your church pastor, your doctor, or your local social services about what kind of help is available to teen moms. Try not to worry too much about your ex as you need to focus on taking care of yourself and your baby. Best wishes.
2006-09-12 06:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you give birth to the baby, you will take that baby home. it sounds like he is trying to scare you into not trying to go after him for child support. the only way i can see him getting full custody is if you have no support system. are your parents going to help you or maybe another family member? one of my closest friends is being supported by her mom and step dad while she takes care of her daughter and when the baby's daddy tried to pull the custody card it didn't work. he has like one day a week with her and that's it. you really shouldn't keep the baby from the father either (unless he's abusive), but fight for your rights and the baby's rights! and he can't press charges against you unless you stalk him or harass him. speak to someone about setting up custody and child support now, so when the baby comes things are already set, or at least in motion. you really need to speak to someone. try calling a planned parenthood center if you can't find anywhere else to turn. they can give you more info. good luck!
2006-09-12 05:53:00 · answer #6 · answered by rangergirl27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was pregnant and a mother at 16 years old. In most states as far as I know if you are not married, the father has no legal rights untill paturnity is proved. 9 times out of 10 unless a father has grounds beyond a reasonable doupt that the mother is a danger to the child he has no chance of having a baby taken from the mother. I would go through the Department of Health and Human Services to file for a paturnity test and childsupport from your ex. He will have to file with the courts afterwards for visitation. Chances are he won't bother. Concetrate on your child, your education, and learning to love yourself and your family you are making. If your family is there helping you, take advantage of it. Let grammy and papa be just that. Keep my name if you want to talk. I had to deal with these same things at your age also.
Good LUck
2006-09-12 05:51:55 · answer #7 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off its REALLY hard to get custody from a mother. I live in Pa and in our state rarely does sole custody go to the father. Trust me your both young!! For one just because your 16 doesnt mean that your unfit ... I was 17 when I had my son! And his father and I werent together and we went through this same situation over and over and over. Trust me sweety ... that child is urs you have every right when that baby is born to not let him have that child at all!!! and your best bet since he is acting this way!! Dont let him see that child unless ur going to be right there because once u let him take that baby he doesnt have to give the child back ... So just go to court and get full custody of your child and if he wants something to do with the baby get supervised visitation!! Thats your best bet!! But dont worry ... He doesnt have any say in what happens right now ... You just stay healthy for that child!!!
2006-09-12 05:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming that you want to keep the baby. First, when the baby is born, do not put the father on the birth certificate. Then the entire burden of proof is on him, he must first prove he is the father, and DNA testing costs lots of money. Then he must prove that you are an unfit mother, and not just because you are young. In most cases the state or courts will side with the mother.
2006-09-12 05:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is using scare tactics to keep you from contact and avoid the issue.Every town has a free legal service,call area information to find the number.Also,your age alone does not prove you unfit,in your state it may infact make him criminally liable.You really do need an adult,whether at a legal service or social service agency or within your home for support and guidance.Also,you may want to check into harrassment guidelines in your town,as it sounds like that's what the immature guy is doing.Intimidating you may get you to leave him alone now,but he needs to understand that this responsibility of a baby will bind you both legally and financially for some time to come.Please don't go through this tough time alone.GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-12 05:51:07 · answer #10 · answered by lotsalovetanya 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont get stressed about his stupid threats. he cant press charges on you if you just contact him, but he sounds like a big jerk. He said dont contact him, so dont, when the baby is born. Leave the fathers name blank and if later you want child support or if he wants to, he can pursue the issue to become the legal father.
If he doesnt care about you when your pregant with his child, he doesnt care about the child. You'd have to be messed up for him to get custody if he does pursue it.
Age has nothing to do with it, your not unfit b/c you are young. its already strikes agaist he dated you when you were under age, and document when hes being a jerk. Have him email so its in writing, all his threats.
You should like you miss him, something you should get over, cuz wow.. why would you want someone that speaks to you like that in your life?
Why dont you ask your family for help in this too?
2006-09-12 05:49:53 · answer #11 · answered by desi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋