Is it possible to be happily married when you have so much responsibilty or does the stress get to you and make you feel too drained to enjoy your marriage?
2006-09-12 05:36:55 · 22 answers · asked by tenaciousd 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It gets old. But the flip side is that if you stay home/not work, you still have to do it all and you feel trapped because you don't have money of your own.
2006-09-12 06:23:28 · answer #1 · answered by mustlovefur 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That pretty much sums things up for me. We have five children and while raising those five children, I bartended weekends, went to night school and did all the cooking, cleaning, errand running, bill paying, while I raised those children. I use to get out of bed running just to keep up. Did it make me unhappy? No. I knew what I was signing up for prior to taking all this on. We wanted a large family, we did not believe in child care, and we had a plan as to how we would make this work. He would keep his job and I would stay home, take care of the kids and get my degree so that by the time the youngest reached kindergarten, I'd be able to re-join the workforce. When I would get over whelmed, hubby would step up to the plate to lend a hand. I can honestly say I enjoyed it. I know it sounds strange, especially when I hear so many women complain about it, but I think it's different when you accept the idea that you decided to take on this responsibility by choice. I had the mind set that this wasn't going to last forever and it was only temporary. I also knew that if I fell behind, I always had someone I could depend upon to pick up the slack.
2006-09-12 12:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am happily married. We both work and i do most of the house work and all the cooking and i am expecting my first child. I do get frustrated at times about certain things and when this happens i tell my husband i understand your job is a more physical job then mine but i do need help no go do this or do that. And he says all you have to do is ask and i will do it. and i say no i dont want you to do it when it is convient for you bc that stress me out if im saying i need help that means i need it now. He usually gets mad but does it anyway then we make love and all is good until my next bad day.
2006-09-12 12:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by starrmerlan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i work a 40 hour weak have 3 boys and a husband and take care of all housework and cooking. It is a very tough job just being a full time wife and mother. I get depressed sometimes but then i think of why i do it and what it for then i realize it is very well worth it.
2006-09-12 12:58:23 · answer #4 · answered by baby doll6135 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you.. It, shouldn't be that way!!!! If you have children and a job. It's time for your husband to help. Do his part. around the house and children. How can anyone be happy, with so much to do. And,. is expected to do everything. Look at it this way.. When you think of your marriage. Are there more happy thoughts then bad?? Or, is it more bad thoughts. that come to mind.. If more bad than happy. It's time for a change. If he isn't willing to help. Your wasting your life. And, you can't get those years back.. Been there. and done it. Don't stay for Kidd's sake.. Because, they will learn that way of life. And, see there mom unhappy. That's not fare to the children. good luck. I hope things change for you.
2006-09-12 12:48:47 · answer #5 · answered by Daris G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy, there is something else going on that needs addressed. If you feel things are fine with your marriage, then delegate some of the household chores to everyone else and be consistent about it, especially if the kids are older. Young ones can help out to. They should be helping out with all the chores. dishes, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning the bathroom etc. You might try to come up with a schedule where you do one little thing each night after work, or early in the morning. I know when my kids were at home that I would do chores in the morning before going to work. I might do something little when I got home but I was to pooped to do much, so I would relax. Pamper yourself and delegate, you deserve it!!!!
2006-09-12 12:42:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Me! It's all about communication and team work of the whole entire family! Everything around here work like clockwork! The weekends are the best because we are all home and we get our 'chores' done early and we have the rest of the day doing family things. It was hard at first but when the kids got older and were able to help out with the household upkeeping it's been smooth sailing! And yes, hubby has chores too and he does them. Good luck to you
2006-09-12 12:41:14 · answer #7 · answered by ♪♫♪justpassingby♪♫♪ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am very happily married (24 years), do ALL the house stuff and take care of everyone. I am the happiest of all my friends...why? I do not work. My family is my focus.
Taking care of them and making them happy and secure is a full time job. Screw women's lib and "having it all".
I am not defined by a job. What defines me is the joy I can bring to my family and friend's lives. I do a lot of volunteer work and am very involved in our community.
My husband is very successful because he can concentrate on his job from 8 - 5 and come home and play! Our arrangement has lead to a very happy life for the whole family.
Whatever works best for you though - I wish you luck.
EDIT - I HAVE my own money. What's ours is OURS. I never ask for money...it's mine too.
2006-09-12 12:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes. Me. I totally enjoy my marriage. I do work full time, but the money is mine to keep, he pays all the bills out of our joint account that only HE contributes to. I always feel totally alive. I have two great kids that are involved in a lot of activities, I do all household chores and still always make time for my hubby in the evenings.
2006-09-12 12:42:44 · answer #9 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds pretty inequitable to me. If you're the breadwinner, the nanny and the maid, who needs a spouse? I couldn't enjoy all of that. It's too much. Tell him you're quitting your job in two months to stay home and be a full-time mom. Then do it.
2006-09-12 12:43:45 · answer #10 · answered by georgia b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋