my husbands best friend? our marriage is on the rocksand ive been keeping in touch with his bf and ONLY talking. However, we have both developed feelings for each other and temptation is killing me! I dont want to cross that line and be unfaithful. What should i do ? Im so confused .
2006-09-12 05:01:44 · 34 answers · asked by angeleyez 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband knows we talk and is ok with this. I just dont want anyone to get hurt.
2006-09-12 06:11:59 · update #1
It’s hard to answer from the details you gave. You must weight both sides of the equation. Like are you in love with the BF or just long for the pleasure of sex? If you want sex with different men then you should divorce first. I’m 58 and in my younger days had sex with many of my friend’s wife’s, but found the many troubles not worth it. At some point I promised never again and I kept it. Is a man that would do that to his BF a good friend? Would he do it to you some day? The trouble that will come into you life is not worth a hour of pleasure. Your husband is very likely to find out. So either decide to be a good wife and do what it takes, or divorce your husband and screw whom ever you like. Anything else will surely lead to disaster.
2006-09-12 05:49:05 · answer #1 · answered by Roy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't cross it! It's called personal responsibility. Think of all the people you will hurt & dissapoint - friends & family - realize there are people you will lose their trust forever if you follow through.
Do NOT have contact with this person as much as possible, and only when with someone else - like his wife or your husband present. Strongly consider marriage counseling - if it doesn't work out, go your own way & find some other man. The reality can never outdo the fantasy you have built up in your head, anyway. Life is hard as a couple many times, no matter who you pair with.
2006-09-12 05:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by mustanglynnie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're only feeling this way because you guys are fighting and you miss the intimacy you used to have. It's ok to have thoughts like that, just don't act on it because it will ruin everything, including your reputation and it will hurt your marriage and family. If the best friend is truly the love of your life, get a divorce.If you and your husband make up and do something romantic together you'll feel so happy. The best friend is just a crush, or admiration and it will fade. Talk to your husband about going out on a romantic date. Dress gorgeous for him, and have a fun night out.
2006-09-12 05:10:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to "have feelings" as in "Fantasy's" about someone. it's NOT okay to go through with those feelings. everyone has those feelings weather or not there marriage is on the rocks. But you need to let your husband's friend know that you can only be friends. TRUST me, if you do/did anything, you would regret it big time. and if you would rather be with him then your husband then you should get divorced first. but you also have to think about your husband's best friend here, he would loose him as a friend. I don't think your husband would want to stay friend's with him if he was with you. Just be careful. you can either do it the easy way, or the hard way. someone will get hurt.
2006-09-12 05:10:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are missing the attention from your marriage and replacing it with the attention your husbands best friend is giving you! so you should either end your marriage or work on fixing it before making any other moves! TRUST me it gets really complicated and messy if you try to juggle both! and not to mention painful for all involved! as for the best friend thing.... you should really sit back and in-vision what life would be like with your hubbies best friend in your life! I just don't see it as a recipe for success!
best of luck!
2006-09-12 05:10:20 · answer #5 · answered by carpenter2929 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to him. Break if off with the bf before you and your husband get divorced. Don't be confused, you love your husband and are married. No cheating.
2006-09-12 05:11:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u know its bad, or else u wouldnt be questioning it. I think you need to stop talking to his friend. And if you should decide to leave ur husband, dont go after his friend, cuz that would be a difficult relationship. I would say try to work it out with your husband and if that doesnt work run away from BOTH of them.
2006-09-12 05:05:33 · answer #7 · answered by tha gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're really walking on thin ice with this one. To be honest I would lose contact with the best friend whether you stay with your husband or you don't. Starting a relationship with your husbands best friend could cause real nightmare for the two of you. Just let it go.
2006-09-12 05:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by Eric S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already crossed the line. And your asking if its bad ???? Nah, dont worry about it I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind one bit that your talking behind his back to his own bf. Maybe he's committing emotional adultery with your bf too. That's what you would deserve.
2006-09-12 05:07:37 · answer #9 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If there's kids involved don't do it until the marriage is completely and officially over. If there are no kids involved then do what you feel will make you happy but make sure you know what you want because there's no going back on this type of situation...
2006-09-12 05:07:28 · answer #10 · answered by nevermind_my_id 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋