I asked my girlfriend of two years to marry me and she said no. She is in the middle of a divorce wich i thought was the problem. but It isn't she said we are not ready, even thugh i have a career so does she. we have money and a 4 yr old boy at home. Should i be upset with her answer?
2006-09-12 04:46:33 · 18 answers · asked by slushy842003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
shes been seperated for 4 yrs. and with me for 2 yrs 4 months. She never got the divorce because he is in the army and they both make more money that way. until now they wanna get it over and move on because i'm in the army
2006-09-12 05:02:35 · update #1
If she had a bad marriage, she may be reluctant to go that route again, even though the relationship with you is not like her first marriage. Don't be upset - just give her time.
2006-09-12 04:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by auskan2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is a sex maniac, we been together for about 2 yrs dating and are sex life is pretty good, he may not get it as much as he wants but we are both happy, I do know that he worries the sex will go down hill after we marry, he told me that once you get married theres no more sex?!?!? But usually from the girl not the guy!! Your husband may just feel really comfortable with spending time with you and sees no point in any sexual intimacy. As you said he thinks it should only happen once or twice a year. Sex is a vital part of the relationship, it shouldn't be everything but it should still be there for the closeness, intimacy, feelings towards one another, just to be with that person. Believe it or not sex is a big stress reliever too. The more sex the less your likely to wander, unless you truly have deep feelings. I would talk to him about the situation and put everything out on the table on how your feeling from inside to what your wants and desires are, and how you don't want anyone else but him. Communication is another major key in a relationship, without it there's no point in pursuing.
2016-03-26 21:56:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it'd be pretty hard to not get upset.
You haven't been married, have you?
I think her reasons for saying that you guys aren't ready to get married probably have something to do with the fact that she has been married, and it didn't work.
When you marry someone, you pretty much hand over your whole life to the marriage. When it falls apart, you pretty much lose faith that any marriage could work. Divorce totally blows.
I think you should ask her how she feels about marriage in general. Not marriage for the two of you, just her opinion about any marriage.
Good luck
2006-09-12 04:53:54 · answer #3 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be upset by her no response. She just needs time to re-evaluate the direction in her life. Divorce is a nasty experience and it affects people differently. Even though she may not think it has any impact on her decision, she may have some hesitation in handing out her love for fear of another heartbreak.
Give her time. In the meantime, be a good father, lover and friend.
2006-09-12 04:51:20 · answer #4 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that she's in the middle of a divorce. So really, she can't say yes to you or it'll get back to the judge and mess up what she's trying to accomplish. Wait until she's single THEN pop the question. Besides, you don't really want to rush her into another obligation when the ink isn't even dry in the divorce papers.
2006-09-12 04:50:57 · answer #5 · answered by vitamin D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bf of 1 and half yrs asked me after knowing for 3 wks and I told hom no right off. I hurt his feelings b/c he thought I was meaning no b/c of him, but it was b/c I had been married twice b4 and did not want to get married again after not getting to know him. I told him that and still it hurt his feelings, just give her some serious time to think, if the two of you are happy now, she will come around and want to marry you very soon, especially with that beautiful 4yr old the two of you have together
2006-09-12 04:57:02 · answer #6 · answered by Amber C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset but you must ask her why she feels youre not ready to marry? If you already live together and have a child perhaps she is happy the way you are?! And just cos she says no now doesnt mean that she doesnt want to marry you in the future. Talk to her be open with your feelings and hopefully she will be the same with you!!
2006-09-12 04:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by scattynatty23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you should respect her honesty toward your proposal. Just because she seems to have her plate full, doesn't mean she doesn't love and care about you. You stated she is in the middle of a divorce at this time, so it would seem to me she shouldn't be rushed into another situation so soon. Give her the time to reflect on what it is she needs/wants/who's in her life. Her heart must be with you or she wouldn't be there. It wouldn't hurt to look to the man upstairs for guidance. God bless.
2006-09-12 05:02:56 · answer #8 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give her time and respect her wishes. My friend is going through a separation with that pig of her husband and let me tell you she's scared. Sometimes it takes women a lot of time to deal with the situation. I'm engaged for the second time and let me tell you its hard for me to think of marriage right now. The first time I was engaged I thought he was going to be my husband, so its even hard for me to make that move right now to get married. Give your lady some time she will come through...don't force her to do something she's not ready to do.
2006-09-12 04:54:36 · answer #9 · answered by ♪♫♫♪ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u shouldnt, if shes worth asking to be ur wife, which is a "lifetime" commitment.. then she's worth waiting awhile longer .. if she's the one.. then waiting another year or two will only be a drop in the bucket comparably to a life time..
Marriage is hard enough going into it with full steam... only makes it worse if ur not ready.. so give her some time, she has alot on her plate as it is.. if she's worth it.. u'll wait..
2006-09-12 04:53:20 · answer #10 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋