When my partner and I go to his folks house his sister spends the time being petty and immature and its at its worst at dinner.
Things like, knowing that he'll want to sit in a particular seat so she'll sit in it. Knowing that he'll want the last spud so she'll have it and then wait for a reaction. If my partner says something to either of his folks then she's got something to say about his manners or says 'oh shut up no one wants to hear you'
At 1st it was commical to hear her act like a 3 yr old and watch my partner's mum break up the squabling but now Im beginning to think his mother quite enjoys being the hero and I just cringe everytime his sister speaks.
The parents seem to think that they are the adults and my partner and his sister are just children and still treat them so which probably fuels her immaturity even though my partner and I are 24 and his sister is 25.
Ive told my partner that I want to say something but he says its nothing to do with me. What do you think?
2006-09-12 03:49:50 · 12 answers · asked by Wicked Top. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Don't worry about it. They are siblings. Chances are they will act like that forever. Yeah there are times when siblings can be nice to eachother. My brother and I get along sometimes, but the other times it is like we are kids again.
Don't worry about it, thats normal.
2006-09-12 03:53:26 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With only 1 year between your partner and his sister sibling jealousy was practically certain. This is regrettably a throw back to nature and survival. The nestlings in the nest will cheerfully tip one or the other over the edge to get what food is being offered.In other areas of natural (non human) life siblings will kill each other or eat each other. This is a deep basic instinct which normally in humans dies out as each child reaches maturity. Your partner is right.This is not your contest. One or the other of them has to stop reacting I would suggest that your partner tries to be the one who does not react.the mother too is still happy to think she has her two babies at home Maybe it is time to have other things to do rather than go to dinner on a regular basis.
2006-09-12 04:00:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like my husband and his youngest sister - he's 36, she's 35 and she is the epitome of immature. The best thing to do is ignore her - she must love getting a rise out of him so she does it intentionally to get under his skin. He has to stop letting her do that. He has to stop reacting to her completely. Once he can do this, it won't be fun for her anymore and she'll end it. My sister in law doesn't work, she lives with their dad and mooches off his money. She sits home every day, or goes to the mall to spend money. She claims to be a victim every chance she gets -and bad mouths my husband and the oldest sister, who is 38. It is simply unreal. I understand where you're coming from. Tell your man to stop enabling her to bother him. She will lose the control she thinks she has -- we are trying to do the same thing.
2006-09-12 03:55:08 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is on you, no it is not any of your business. You just need to support their decision. You don't have to like it, just support them.
I think that your partner and all others teach people how to treat them. Your partner needs to take control of the situation and stand up for their self. She wants a reaction and if no one gives it to her she will eventually stop this behavior. I have a problem with my sister-in-law, and I just flat *** refuse to attend any and all family functions. My life has been a lot more pleasant. I either spend it by my self, or with friends. I refuse to be treated like a second class citizen so I have found other ways to be involved with my family. My parents who don't like it at all, and hate the fact that I refuse to take any more abuse from her, can't understand why I just won't go and just ignore her. I told them if I want to be placed in front of a firing squad I will chose who is going to shot me.
Good Luck and God Bless
2006-09-12 03:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, this relationship pattern sounds well entrenched. They may both grow out of it with time. I would advise not to get involved, they will not thank you, and may caused problems in your relationship. Just be there for your partner. I actually have a similar problem with my partner, his brother and his parents, and I know that if I were to intervene I would be seen as an outsider, and it would almost certainly worsen the situation for my partner because he would have to defend me as well as himself!
2006-09-12 03:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by Emelia F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's seem you have quite a number of good advices already. I would suggest the same "Don't get involve, it's not worth the anger or concern. Nobody will thank you for your opinions/advice."
Who knows,maybe she enjoys attracting your attention. If you need to be there, try reading newspaper or bring a book along.
2006-09-12 06:11:19 · answer #6 · answered by Noel Yelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not much you can do really - its between him and his immediate family. All you could suggest to him is that he not rise to his sister - like if she wants to sit somewhere, let her sit there - the less reactions she'll get out of him, the less fun it will be for her and eventually she'll just grow up and stop acting like a fool
2006-09-12 03:59:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell you to keep your mouth shut as it's really HIS business, not yours. HOWEVER, you are not required to join this sick little game of theirs. If you go to their house and stay for dinner, when the squabbling starts, excuse yourself from the table. OR...don't go back until they can clean up their act. It sounds to me like they are ALL GUILTY, even your partner. Let them work it out if they want you back in their home for a visit. If not, so be it. Let your man be a "man".
2006-09-12 03:54:00 · answer #8 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes right , it dose have nothing to do with you .
i KNOW how annoying this can be at some times , and i to have been in situations where it has taken all i had to walk away quietly but its not your problem .
i now put alot of distance between myself and the person in his family that drives me nuts ,,
its his family ,, i dont have to be around them if i choose not to .
you have the same chioce . come up with some excuse not to go with him some times ,, or if you think hell understand , and not get upset (mine dosent ) just be onhest and tell him , you just dont want to go with him every time he gos for a visit .
its his family !! not yours ... jsut stay home sometimes ..
2006-09-12 04:39:34 · answer #9 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing should do is stay out of it or it might course family problems and you don't wont to be in the middle of it buy the sounds of it his sister is jealous of him that's why she goes on the way she does
2006-09-12 04:37:34 · answer #10 · answered by becky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋