I am married but I enjoy his companionship and relationship. He did find evidence that his wife has been cheating for over 5 years she keeps denying it. I'm the only one who he feels comfortable talking about it with. He says things have been going good recently with his wife but he is still afraid that the first argument they have or 6 months down the roead she'll go back to him. I like him alot. I did tell him that his wife left him emotionally and physically 5 years ago when it started and that it will always be there in his mind somewhere. Help
2006-09-12 03:40:36 · 24 answers · asked by 41street 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well if you really like him you should let him work it out with his wife. I think your trying to get him to believe his wife will leave him again so he will come to you and leave her. They are evidently trying to work it out and he said things have been good. That is your clue to leave him alone and move on to another man. He loves his wife let them work out there problems without your help. Don't try to get to him while he is insecure and worried. Tell him to work it out.You should find another man. One that isn't attached to a marriage.
2006-09-12 03:49:28 · answer #1 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't think you truly meant any harm to him or your self at all. Things happen we fall for ppl when we least expect it. We get great pleasure outta hearing the right things at the right time thats life. But you are married, and from what I sense you are happily married...but just a little confused at the moment. Don't let his situation become urs. Let go fast, because not only are u going to be hurting your friends marriage even more than it is...but ur going to be reallllllllly hurting ur own. Its hard to be in a situation and look frmo the outside, but be a third person and do so and you will find ur answers. If you really care for this guy you've been takling to let him be happy with his wife...if he ins't he'll move on, but if you are happy in ur life then this is an unneccesary problem you are gettin ur life involved into.
Take care and be happy.
2006-09-12 11:25:13 · answer #2 · answered by Confused4life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talking to your friend at such down times can be comforting I'm sure as long as it is TALKING it's o.k. but even though she has cheated on him in the past it does NOT make it o.k. to do any more than TALK.There are a lot of reasons cheating happens and you or any other women even myself sometimes for some reason think it justifies moving right in on the situation.Be his friend for advice only.Think of it this way if u were a man and had a special bond w this guy friend he would feel the same amoun t of confidence in u as a man to confide in.Now if he leaves his wife or vice versa then u will have plenty of tim e to become more than friends , but let him make that choose because no matter how u look at it a marriage is not OVER until it is OVER good or bad marriages no matter how u look at it. Hope this helps cause I've been there sweety!
2006-09-12 11:19:56 · answer #3 · answered by WTF 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a married woman you should be more careful over who you allow into your circle of friends. When a male turns to a female for help there is only one reason. He wants to be mothered. Let him find his own answers and stop messy with your own marriage. Not unless your husband is also involved with the relationship. You should not get involved in this situation because he is playing with your friendship and only has one thing in mind. Stay clear until he has straighten his home life out. As you must do the same.
LittleGree
2006-09-12 11:02:21 · answer #4 · answered by LittleGree 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what ever problems she had with him you are more than likely going to run into the same type of problems. It might be a case of they just grew apart she did her thing, he did his thing it typically turned into a room mate situation. Neither one knew how to communicate with the other. If he's seeing you while married, what makes you think that when things go sour with the two of you, he won't find another you. I'd stay away from it and tell him to seek couns. with his wife first, and for him to dig deep in his heart as to wheather he wants this marriage or not if not he needs to get out of it cheating spouse or not. he may have neglected certain emotional issues she needed, not that he did it on purpose, and it could be vice versa as well. I wouldn't get involved with him though until he is free and clear of his feelings for her, and his marriage wants.
2006-09-12 10:49:26 · answer #5 · answered by krm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can keep it as friends and out of the bedroom then there is no reason to stop seeing him. But.........if you are liking him a lot and want to sleep with him, do yourself a favor and both of you get a divorce first. Please respect yourself. If neither of you are happy then why stay married? But please don't just go jumping into the sack because his wife did this to him. Two wrongs do not make a right.... When people get married today, it seems like they forgot their vows: You know the for better or worse, sickness and health? If you are done with your marriage and he is done with his, then go for it and both of you get a divorce.
Good Luck and God Bless
2006-09-12 10:46:48 · answer #6 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, your "friend" is lying to you.
"My wife is cheating on me, would you like to be my friend?" is sooo old! I do not believe anyone still listens to this anymore.
As long as he is married, stay away from him.
If he get's divorced, and he probably won't, and if you develop a relationship afterwards, keep in mind, he WILL start relationships with other women while with you.
He is a guy that has a wandering eye. Don't bother.
NEXT!!
2006-09-12 10:44:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be careful-emotional intimacy comes first and it can pull you in before you even realize it especially if you have any problems in your marriage. I never thought I would have an affair but ten years ago I did. I rember the physical attration came after the emotional one
2006-09-12 11:05:24 · answer #8 · answered by sleepy_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both need a friend...just keep it that way, don't start a full blown relatiionship, neither one of you are ready for that and you'll end up losing even the friendship.
2006-09-12 10:46:35 · answer #9 · answered by sasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In maintaining this relationship, you are allowing yourself to let a new relationship sprout, not to mention feeling flattered. It will be unfair not only to their relationship if you keep at it, it will also be unfair to yours. And the longer you stay there, the harder it will be for you to get out of it.
2006-09-12 10:58:49 · answer #10 · answered by Nic Nic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋