Any thoughts on perfectionism and how to overcome it?

Question

Thanks for your thoughtful responses so far...really! I think that setting reasonable goals and freeing oneself of certain judgements that only stifle productivity is the key. As with most things, the HOW part of getting there is the challenge. Can anyone break this down a bit more?

Answer 1

Perfection is an idea, but never a reality. Reach toward perfection and you will make your best achievements. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do something well, but there is something wrong with never finishing a project, or with telling either yourself or other people that you or they are not good enough.
Expect a lot from yourself, but at the end of each day, be happy with what you've gotten from yourself. Don't expect anything from other people. Let others tell you what they can give, what they can do, what they want to do.
You aren't perfect and you never will be. Neither is anyone else. You can point yourself in the direction of high achievement, but you ususally have no right to point anyone other than yourself in any direction at all.
Remember that a real artist never really finishes a work of art, they merely stop working on it at some point and put it up for sale.
This isn't a perfect answer, but it might be helpful.

Answer 2

You can still be a perfectionist and enjoy life. You need to learn that you can only give your best, once you have given your best there is nothing more to be done. Learn to enjoy doing things even if you can't do them perfectly, and to rejoice in your successes no matter what. Perfectionism is only bad, when you can no longer enjoy life because you are obsessed with everything always going and being perfect. Becoming more spontaneous always helps as well. Just some advice from a fellow perfectionist.

Answer 3

I am impressed with most of the answers you have received so far, they are insightful and well developed, obviously from experience.

I am writing a book on this subject, it is a pervasive issue in our society. A destructive or stagnating sense of perfectionism is a result of low self-worth, just as arrogance is . We experience extreme realities when our perception is imbalanced.

Perfection is in the eye of the beholder, but when the beholder feels like nothing they do is good enough- perfection does not exist. So whether one is in doubt of their self, or they fear the doubt of others (likely both), it is necessary to realize that severe judgment comes from a LACK of knowledge, not the opposite. So what merit or truth comes from this judgment?

My favorite advice listed is the one that says not to worry about it and it will not be a problem. My understanding and experience is, only when we gently and lovingly accept our self the way we are can we transform the behaviors that disturb us.

Answer 4

Most things in life cannot be perfected. We're raised in a society where there is an upper limit in tests we take (whether it is SATs, ACT, MCAT, GRE), the videogames we play that allow us to complete all the levels, and other things.


I think it is important to realize that one cannot know everything and we must make judgements based on the limited things we already know. However, that is not to say do not educate yourself but there are numerous occasions that life asks us to make split "gut feeling" decisions. These gut feeling decisions are no more than a summation of your experiences which tell you how you should approach a subject. People recieve education/experience to prepare for these circumstances of life.

To possibly overcome perfectionism, I think it is important to realize the importance of what is being perfected. Does the experience that comes out of becoming perfect at something help you on the long run? For example, how to sharpen a perfect pencil.

Secondly, no topic is complete. At a higher education, even professors realize that their profession is an ongoing learning process. So to say that you have perfected your profession is to say that you know everything there is to know. In reality, you probably know more than other people but that doesn't indicate perfection.

Lastly, I think perfectionism leads to sort of non activity. If one strives to be perfect in everything and realizes the effort needed to achieve perfection, if that can be reached, then he/she may also realize that one does not have enough time in his/her hand. As a result, they pick and choose what they want to delve into and reject all other, probably just as important matters.

I would suggest approach things with an open mind, realize that one cannot know everything but at the same time go out and experience/educate/train yourself into seeing the world from many point of views.

Answer 5

Well, it's not a bad thing so why must you overcome it? Just remember that there's a moderation to everything. So, knowing that you're a perfectionist, also know that others might not be like you and accept others as they are so the 2 different worlds won't clash. Also, constantly remind yourself to be humble in everything you do although you might be doing it perfectly-well...Lastly, be happy to be you! ;>

Answer 6

why would you want to overcome it? It is part of being you. My husband is one and I have to tell you, IT is one of the best things about him. I don't always pay attention to the fine detail... and he does. Perfectionism will take you far if you use it to your benefit and help you get where you want to in life's journey.

Answer 7

People say that Practice makes perfect but nobody's perfect in this world...so why practice? :)

Answer 8

Stop caring that you are a perfectionist. Once you stop caring, then you are no longer a perfectionist.

Answer 9

slap urself silly =p

Answer 10

Just walk away.