Does anyone know of someone physically harming a child when co-sleeping?

Question

This is a morbid question, but does anyone know of a chld who was hurt or worse when co-sleeping with an adult? I am terrified of suffocation. We use NO pillows and no fluffy bedding, and we never drink or anything like that. I am still worried !!!

Answer 1

We have always co-slept with our babies with no problems. The older two (10 and 3) do not sleep int the bed, we did not throw them out, they grew out of it. The two fears I hear most often about this are rolling over and crushing the baby (I cannot find any instance of this happening when done on proper bed and not intoxicated) or that the child will never grow out of it.
The secon one is total bs, can you imagine a teen crawling int bed with you, it jsut isn;t going to happen. We found that by 5 years old they don't even come to bed int he middle of the night, they seem more independednt and able to handle the world on thier own terms than other kids. What you are establishing is not a pattern of dependence (although they are completely depedent on us so that has always struck me as a pretty stupid argument any way) what you are establishing is that your kids can count on you, that you are there for them, that they know they are safe. Kids that have these lessons tend to be able to be more independent, knowing someone has your back is the best way to go into the world.
Co-sleep, it is wonderful way to bond with your kids, it won't last long, and in a few years they won;t even want to acknowledge your existence, so enjoy what you can at these young ages.

Answer 2

If you are so terrified that you are not sleeping than co-sleeping is not working for you. Get a bassinet or a crib and put it right next your bed. There are even some cribs and bassinets that convert so it opens onto your bed and the baby can still feel you close and hear you breathing. This might be better for you. A lot of the suggestions were really good (I read most of them before answering). Mother's instincts are really strong. More so than a father's instincts. Keep him on your side of the bed instead of the middle, if need be, get a bigger bed and put it right on the floor. I will say I think it's terrific you see the importance of the first months being so close to baby. That said, ultimately you need sleep, too. It's hard to make good decisions as a mommy if you are so tired you can think straight or your so tired you don't hear your baby when he needs you. I used fluffy bedding and pillows and both my kids are still alive and healthy, but I, like the other person who answered, woke up long before he would cry. But anyway, my point is you want to co-sleep, find out what works, no pillows and no blankets is not necessary. I hope you get some sleep.

Answer 3

My sis-in-law's sis-in-law. Her and her husband were sleeping together with a newborn (on a twin bed). They woke up and the baby was dead and had blood coming from her ears. Never found a cause, they suspected that the dad elbowed the baby while rolling over.

I did sleep in bed with my babies I have 3 kids and one baby (and yes the older ones are out of my bed now, I only did it to 1 year while breast feeding) but I waited until they could turn their heads - 6 wks - and I have a queen size bed.

Just a note after reading Kalirush's response: About the case I mentioned above - after this happened we found out that both parents were using drugs though they both deny they did them that night (yeah right.) - no test was ever done.

Answer 4

I don't know of anyone personally but I have heard it to happen. My 3 month old son sleeps with me sometimes and I just place him on my arm. I find if I sleep this way that I dont move at all. In fact when he wakes up for his bottle him and I both are in the same postition that we were when we went to bed. I dont know if its an instinct thing. I know he is there so I don't move. When I sleep alone or with my fiance, I move all over the place.

I think it just depends on how you sleep and how the baby sleeps.

Good luck

Answer 5

Personally? No. And I know bunches of families (around 50-70, actually), in real life, who co-sleep.

Have you had your baby yet? I found that actually doing it made me feel better. I was much more aware than I imagined I would be.

Also, a mom friend of mine, when I voiced some concerns about this when my daughter was a few months old, said, "Does she ever get to crying in the middle of the night?" And I said, "no, she wiggles and makes little noises and then I feed her." And the mom pointed out that if I was aware enough to feed her before she got to crying, I was aware enough to sleep with her.

I might add- nearly every case of suffocation in a parent's bed that I hear of on the news also involved someone on some sort of drug (alcohol, sleeping pills, illegal drugs) or someone sleeping in a patently unsafe environment (the couch, a waterbed).

Sleeping with two parents who are sleeping normally, on a surface that's not likely to entrap the baby, is perfectly safe.

Answer 6

My DH does know someone who rolled over a baby in bed, and so DH was initially against co-sleeping. When questioned further, my DH told me that they were in a waterbed-- a BIG no no with cosleeping. It is very uncommon for babies to be hurt in bed with adults, and the death rate due to cosleeping is only like 19 deaths per year that are rollover deaths and 60 deaths total per year in an adult bed (some are SIDS deaths). Compare that with the roughly 2000 SIDS deaths per year (cosleeping reduces SIDS deaths, BTW) and you see that the number is incredibly low. The statistics that I've seen on cosleeping deaths do not differentiate between parents who are intoxicated and parents who are sober, but I would guess that a large percentage of babies that die in their parents beds are due to intoxicated parents or poor cosleeping choices (lots of blankets, etc.)

Answer 7

Have never heard of this happening to anyone I know, but am sure that it is possible for a child to be smothered in their sleep, especially if they are a baby. I used to sleep in with my nan all the time and never suffocated.

Answer 8

There was a story on the news in Michigan late last year about a young couple who suffocated their infant daughter in her sleep. They were both really tired and not sure which parent did it, but one of them rolled over on her while they were asleep and suffocated her. She was too tiny/weak (newborn) to struggle much to let them know she couldn't breathe, so she died. They woke up in the a.m. and she was blue and non-responsive.

Answer 9

Here is a site that shows studies/reports of deaths due to co-sleeping as opposed to other etc

http://www.pahealthsystems.com/message71450.html

The main problem, as I see it, is the difficulty in separating after you've developed that routine. It effects the marriage bed and that can become a great problem down the track for many. So Why start off with a routine that you KNOW will cause issues? You need your own space and so does your husband.

Answer 10

We decided to co-sleep and as far as I have ever heard the only times a baby has died from it was when the parents were irresponsible. We don't drink and I tend to sleep in one position until I wake up to turn. I am breastfeeding so I don't take decongestants which could make me drowsy and when my husband needs to take them he will sleep on the floor. It has been a great experience for us and our son.
But, if you are worried about it don't do it. It isn't good for yourself or your child if you cannot relax about it.
Good luck whatever your decision is.