For parents who co-slept with ther children, what are some of the downsides you see? Any suggestions?

Question

We have a 5 month old son, and he slept with us for a while because I was worried about SIDS, then my hubby and I just never wanted to be in another room from him, so we contimued to let him sleep with us. YES, people, I know many of you don't beleive in this. That's fine - I'm not sure I do, myself. But, nontheless we ARE, and I just want to know from others who have done it what they would do differently, or when it should stop, etc. Please don't tell me what a loser I am for letting him sleep with us. Like I said - I am not arguing for it or saying it's best - we just happen to be in the situation and are wondering about others.

Answer 1

I only started sleeping with my daughter because I was breastfeeding, and I slept alot more if she was in the bed with me, so I know what you mean about "not being sure I believe in this".

I wouldn't do a thing differently, though- the main downside to cosleeping, especially at first for me, was that I didn't sleep all that well. It hurt my neck and back. But, for me, it was still infinitely preferable to having to actually GET UP in the middle of the night. :)

My daughter gently transitioned to her own bed at around 11 months- basically, I got a twin mattress, laid it on the floor next to our bed, and started putting her down to sleep there. From there I was able to move her out with no difficulty. I think if I waited longer, it would be harder- but she wasn't ready before then, either.

When it should stop is up to you and your family and what's working for you. Sleeping with mama and papa isn't *bad* for baby, so it's just a matter of what lets everybody sleep the best. :)

Answer 2

It's sad we ask honest questions and then have to worry about being judged, isn't it? Anyway--I slept in the same room with my son while my husband was deployed until he was four months. When he started sleeping in his own room he didn't have a problem. It was actually harder on me then it was on him! It kind of hurt my feelings that he could care less if I was in the room or not! If I were you I'd put him into his own room as soon as possible before it does become a problem. I know it is hard but, it's what's best for him. If he still wakes up in the night it might be hard getting used to waking up with him...but I made sure I didn't take him back to bed with me as easy as it was. Luckily I had a very good baby monitor that allowed me to hear him breathing even though I was a room away. (Fisher Price monitor from Walmart--only $20!) Best of Luck--and you aren't a loser--everyone does things a different ways and at different times!

Answer 3

The only downside I can see right now is that we have both kids in bed with us (2 yrs and 3 1/2 mos) and so I usually can't put the baby down in the bed with the toddler before we're ready to go to bed. The girls go to sleep around 8 and we go to bed around 11, so until then I usually put the baby on the couch. But once she's bigger I'll have to come up with a new solution.

Cosleeping is awesome, don't let anyone tell you otherwise! We're cosleeping with the 2 year old by choice and we're not ready for her to have her own bed yet.

Answer 4

I do see anything wrong with what you are doing at all. In fact its just another way for you and your husband to bond with your child. I have a 3 month old son and he has slept with me off and on since he was born. Not all the time though. I want him to get used to sleeping on his own but he sleeps way better when he's with me. My son still sleeps in the same room with me even if he isn't in my bed....I'm having a problem with moving him into his own room because I just don't want to be seperated from him. I don't know if my son will end up sleeping with me in the end but sometimes its just nice to have him close with me some nights.

Remember what works best for you is what you should stick to. If you want to have him sleep alone you might want to start now because once he gets older it may be harder. However if you continue to let hiim sleep with you, enjoy it while it lasts. He'll be all grown up before you know it!

Good luck!

Answer 5

The only downside I found was when he got older. He became a bedhog and would kick me in his sleep. I would end up waking around 3 times a night. I eventually had to put him in his own bed.

A lot of people mention how hard it is to get them into their own beds eventually. It was a challenge to get my son into his bed. I prepared him by talking to him about it, and then was consistant in putting him in his bed. He did cry for a few nights, but eventually stopped. I just made sure to be clear that it wasn't that I didn't love him etc.

The thing to remember is that if you choose to do it over a long period of time, is that it's almost like a commitment. Be sure that it's something that you want to do for a long time. Otherwise it's just easier on the baby to put them in a crib now.

Answer 6

I am not trying to be ignorant but when the children are still co-sleeping and attending school how do you handle sleepovers? Obviously I understand that you don't co-sleep with other children,I am just curious how you explain to the children you can't all sleep together, or when they go to camp?At what age do you tell children to sleep in their own bed? Do they experience anxiety due to sleeping on their own? I can understand that the parent feels secure in knowing their child is nearby.However I think the child will have to learn the parent is still there for them even when they are in the next room.

Answer 7

my daughter co-slept with us until she was almost 2 years old. It was great. I loved it. I work full time, so I felt that sleeping situation was helping me with the "bonding" that I missed being a stay at home mom and breast feeding (that didn't work out well).

We really didn't have problems putting her in her own bed. We usually moved up her bed time from 10:00 to 8:00-8:30. But we let her fall asleep in our bed, watching TV. We carried her into her bed when we were going to bed.

She just turned 4 and tells us when she's ready for bed, usually before 8:00! No TV or anything. She only falls asleep with the hallway light on.

If you want to continue to co-sleep, then do it. Don't let others tell you wrong or right things to do in your own bedroom. If you and your husband like co-sleeping, then more power to you.

I'm pregnant with my 2nd baby, so this one will definately be in his crib from day 1!

Answer 8

The biggest downside I've found is that he will become very dependent on you to fall and stay asleep. This makes it hard to stay up later and really hard to ever go out in the evening and allow a babysitter to put him down. Also, really hard on the kids if you get sick and don't want them in bed with you. Let alone how hard it will be if you have to go to the hospital or have another baby

My son slept with us every night until he was one. It then took me awhile to get him into his own bed. I had to lay with him for a couple hours each night. Finally by age four, he was able to go to sleep with out me there.

Our 5 year old (the one mentioned above) still comes down to our bed a few nights a week, our 8 year old will make his way down about once a month. I switche our 9 month old to her crib at four months. It was an easy switch.

It is wonderful to have them their with you, but it does take alot of time and effort to get them to sleep on their own later.

Answer 9

I pretty much had my son sleeping in my bed since he was born, and he is still sleeping in our bed to this day. I find it more relaxing knowing that he is there and if he needs me in the night im not far from him. My hubby thinks the same thing. The only downside to him sleeping with us is he takes up half the bed. But that I dnt mind at all. So if your looking to get him sleeping on his own than I heard that maby you could get a moses basket and put it on the bed and make him sleep in that then eventuly put it in the stand, he should get used to you guys not being there. Then eventuly you might be able to get him in a cot or bed.

Answer 10

Are planning on having more children? Will you put your son in his own room when the new baby comes? (Just wondering, I'm not that familiar with what co-sleeping parents do when a new baby arrives.) My son is going through this right now. He does not want the baby in bed, but since he's been gone at bootcamp, his wife (who lives with us) has never put the baby in the crib except to change her diaper. (The baby is almost five months old now) and it is going to be traumatic for her to be put in the crib to sleep, when she is used to being held while sleeping. Anyway, I'd say once the baby is sleeping through the night you can try to put him in his crib and see how that works for you. I expect there will be lots of screaming and crying, but ... you'll go through that whenever you decide no to co-sleep. Good Luck.